Reflections Of The Heart
Title:
Reflections
Of The Heart
Author: Suz W.
Feedback: I'd
love to hear from you!
Spoilers: After Beneath The Surface (episode tag)
Rating: R, S/J Friendship, Romance and Sexual Situations.
Summary: Sam and Jack spend time together to try and regain
their missing memories.
Disclaimer: All publicity recognizable characters and places are
the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for
entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or
trademarks was intended.
Copyright: The original characters, situations, and story are
the property of the author. Copyrighted
on April 12, 2004, by Suzanne R. Whitmarsh.
Author’s
Notes: This story follows “Future
Revelations”. Some of the most common questions asked about
the episode “Beneath The Surface” have to do with Sam and Jack. How extensive was their relationship on the
planet, and how long did it take to regain their memories? Read on to find out!! The song lyrics used at the end are by Phil
Collins. The song is entitled “Look
Through My Eyes” and it is from Disney’s Brother Bear Soundtrack. Your feedback is always welcomed! Enjoy!
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Dee. As one of my newer readers, I want to thank
you for your kind words and support of my stories! Your dedication, as with all those who continue to read my
stories, is greatly appreciated! I hope
you find this one just as enjoyable!
He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Those eyes, the way her smile seemed to light up the room. They seemed to have the ability to reach the darkest places of his heart. She meant something to him. Their time on the planet had proved as much. But to what extent did that meaning go?
“Colonel O’Neill?” The sound of General Hammond’s voice reached Jack’s mind and cleared away the fog. As his vision focused on the pen he was absent-mindedly rolling back and forth on his notepad, he stopped and looked up. And there were her eyes, meeting his. For a moment, he couldn’t think, but then with the realization of the general’s voice calling his name a second time, he tore his eyes from hers and looked over in General Hammond’s direction.
Clearing his voice, he finally answered. “Sorry, Sir. What was that?” Jack could see the irritation in the general’s eyes, but no matter how hard he tried to focus on the debriefing in progress, he couldn’t. His mind always found it’s way back to Sam.
General Hammond sighed quietly, trying to quell his frustration at the obvious lack of attention Jack was contributing to the debriefing. Realizing SG-1 had been through a lot, he replied as patiently as he could. “I was wondering what your take was on all of this?”
Jack didn’t know quite how to respond. “Well, Sir, honestly, I’m not sure. I can remember my life as “Jonah”, but only have vague recollections of my life and career here. I know the basics, Sir. So until my memory is fully restored, that’s all I can really give you.” Jack knew it wasn’t the answer the general was hoping for, but it’s the best he could give. He was frustrated and angry at being deprived of his memories, and not knowing the full extent of his real life. He did remember the SGC, General Hammond, most of the staff, and some of the previous missions he and his team had gone on. But beyond that, there was nothing. Except for the mystery that sat across from him. Major Samantha Carter, or “Thera” as he really knew her. He felt so drawn to her, in ways that a Colonel should never be drawn to a lower ranking officer under his command.
Shifting his eyes, he looked around the rest of the table and found Daniel next to Sam. Teal’c was sitting beside him. He definitely remembered Daniel enough to know that he could be incredibly annoying. But despite that, he knew he also respected Daniel. And Teal’c was just…Teal’c, an ever present, strong force for him and the other members of the SGC; a respected team member and friend.
Dr. Fraiser entered the room carrying a stack of files. Putting them down on the end of the table, she looked at General Hammond and shrugged slightly. “Well, General, physically, I can’t find anything wrong with them. Each of them appears to be in perfect health. The head CT showed nothing unusual, no tumors, clots, or devices of any kind.”
General Hammond frowned. “Well how in the world then did the people on that planet manage to stamp out SG-1’s memories?”
Janet sighed. “I wish I knew, General. All I can suggest they do is what the woman named Brenna told them: to spend time in familiar surroundings. Logically, it makes sense. It’s obvious that by being back here in the SGC, it has helped to restore that part of their memory.”
General Hammond shrugged. “What do you suggest they do?”
Janet looked around at each of them before answering. “Spend time outside of the base, doing things on a more personal level. That alone should restore their memories enough to allow the brain to do the rest on it’s own. Once they start remembering, the memories should all come back at once. At least that’s the hope.”
Teal’c looked over at General Hammond. “Since my memories were only affected temporarily, I would like to request some time to return to Chulak to see my family while Colonel O’Neill, Major Carter, and Dr. Jackson spend time regaining their memories.”
General Hammond looked up at Janet. “Doctor?”
Janet smiled. “I see no problem with that, General. Teal’c symbiote seemed to have protected him for the most part, and his memories do seem to be fully restored.”
“Very well,” General Hammond said, “permission granted, Teal’c.”
Teal’c bowed his head. “Thank you, General Hammond.”
“As for the rest of you,” the general began, “I suggest you spend the next few days finding those memories. The sooner they are restored, the sooner I can place you back on active duty. Dismissed.”
Everyone stood as General Hammond got up and walked into his office. Janet gathered her files and walked out of the room. Teal noticed that his other teammates just stood around awkwardly, not knowing quite what to do.
After a moment, Sam broke the silence. “Does anyone remember what we do outside of the base?”
Daniel shrugged and adjusted his glasses. “I don’t know…watch the History Channel?”
Jack got a smug look on his face. “Ha! I knew it! You are a nerd! Personally, I remember that hockey is the best thing on television.”
Daniel sighed. “Oh, real mature, Jack. But what about the important stuff…like where you live. Do you even know that?”
Jack got defensive. “Of course I do! And wipe that know-it-all look off your face! Why don’t you go…dig something.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “Whatever Jack. See you later Sam, Teal’c.” And with that said, Daniel walked out of the room.
Jack waited until he was sure Daniel was out of earshot. “So T…just to double check….where do I live?”
Sam couldn’t help but smile. Being with her friends and teammates had helped her to remember that each of them were important to her, like family, and some seemed even closer than that. Looking at Jack, she knew the latter statement was meant for only him. But how much closer were they in “this life”? Things were different on the planet were they had just come from. There, they were just Jonah and Thera, living simple lives without the complications of military ranks or regulations.
Sighing, she smiled at each of them before turning and walked out of the room. Where she was going to go and what she was going to do, she didn’t know. All that seemed to surround her in this life was her lab and everything in it. But there had to be more. Was Jack apart of that?
Teal’c watched as Jack picked up his notes and started to walk out of the room, going in the opposite direction Sam had just gone. Knowing he had to help them along, he quickly but quietly spoke up. “O’Neill.”
Jack stopped and turned around. “Yeah, Teal’c? What’s up?”
“Might I make a suggestion?”
Jack shrugged. “Sure thing.”
Walking closer to Jack, he hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Spend your time wisely. I would suggest that you spend it with Major Carter.” Not wanting to give Jack any opportunity to question him, he bowed his head and quickly turned, walking out of the room to leave Jack with his thoughts. Teal’c knew it was risky to even hint that he knew about the feelings between Colonel O’Neill and Major Carter. They had no idea he had seen them on that carriage ride in Kansas City, holding each other closely. And since then, he had watched quietly as the looks between them grew longer and more passionate. He didn’t want to see them lose all that they had obviously built together because of a temporary memory stamp.
Jack was surprised by Teal’c’s suggestion. He didn’t know quite why Teal’c would suggest something like that, but at this point, he didn’t care. Spending time with Sam sounded more enticing than anything else he could come up with. Quickly leaving the room, he headed towards the elevator, hoping that he would catch her before she left the base.
Sam walked around her lab, gathering some things that she could work on at home. In case her memory didn’t return right away, she wanted something to keep her entertained.
As if he had read her thoughts, Jack suddenly appeared in her doorway. Meeting his eyes, she abruptly stopped walking. The air around them seemed to suddenly get heavy, and she found it harder to breath as her heart picked up speed. Never breaking eye contact, they both seemed to be experiencing the same effect, and the same memory…..
Thera
put her head contently on Jonah’s shoulder and leaned into him. Feeling brave, she spoke up. “You know, there are things about this place
that I like.”
Jonah
looked down at her, surprised that anyone would like their surroundings. “Really?”
Thera looked
up without moving her head, meeting his eyes, and gave him a soft smile, her
eyes sparkling.
Jonah
caught the expression in her face and suddenly realized what or rather who she
was referring to. Him. She liked him! Feeling his heart start to beat a little harder, he looked back
at her, his voice soft. “Would it mean
anything if I told you that I remember something else?”
Thera
answered contently. “What?”
Jonah
hesitated briefly before answering her.
“Feelings.”
Thera
didn’t want to get her hopes to high.
Trying to still her rapidly increasing pulse, she echoed his
response. “Feelings.”
Jonah,
feeling more confident in his decision to tell her, continued. “I remember feeling…feelings.”
Thera
smiled softly to herself. She couldn’t
help but allow some hope to enter her voice.
“For me?”
“No,”
Jonah said, “for Tor.” Hearing Thera’s
soft laughter at his sarcastic statement as she buried her face temporarily
into his shoulder seemed to be like beautiful music to his ears. She was amazing. Whatever this woman was to him in his “other life” had to be
incredibly special. Otherwise, he
wouldn’t find his thoughts constantly wandering to her. Not holding back, he continued. “I don’t remember much, but I do remember
that.”
Thera sighed
quietly. “So…”
Jonah
was at a loss for what to say next.
“So…I’m just saying.”
Thera
was so happy she wanted to cry. Jonah
was constantly in her thoughts and dreams.
The “vague” images she had managed to conjure up were always of him. Wanting him to know her emotions, but not
knowing how to do it, she spoke up.
“Well then I feel better.”
Hesitating only for a moment, she reached out and took his hand in hers.
Jonah
looked down at their hands intertwined, loving how right it seemed. Looking around the area, no one appeared to
be around. Slowly, he reached up with
his free hand and ran it across her exposed cheek. The softness of her skin sent chills through his body, and his
hand caressed it with a familiarity he didn’t know.
Thera responded
by taking her free hand and placed it over his, holding it against her
cheek. Slowly, she moved her head off
his shoulder, releasing his hands. As
Jonah watched her, she took her hands and cupped his face, moving her fingers
gently against his jawline as she began to explore the structure of his face.
Jonah
was mesmerized at how her eyes reflected the fire light from the furnaces all
around them. Even in this dismal place,
her beauty shone brightly. As she began
to release his face, he captured her hands and held them. The moment had them, and without realizing
it, their lips touched. The realization
of her lips on his brought an instant fire to his insides that burned hotter
than any fire the furnaces held. He
pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight as the
intensity of his kisses increased.
Thera
ran her hands over the firmness of his chest and the fabric of his jacket,
gliding her fingers over them as she wrapped her arms around him. As his kisses became more urgent on her
lips, she could have sworn she had begun to float, her head spiraling out of
logical control as the passion inside took hold. Everything around them melted away. The pipes and burning furnaces disappeared, as did the
uncomfortable hay they were sitting on.
The
sudden noise of someone’s approaching voice brought both of them back to their
senses. Breaking contact, they looked
at each other. Neither wanted to stop. The passion was still burning too brightly
to just put out. Taking her hand, Jonah
pulled Thera to her feet without a word and led her quietly to a private
retreat he had found for himself, away from the people and the reality of their
situation. It was a deeply recessed
area of the mine, concealed by a line of steaming pipes and storage
barrels. Jonah had come here many times
for a private moment to himself and had yet to be discovered.
The dirt
ground was cold and hard, only covered by a small amount of hay. Jonah quickly reached for a blanket that he
had hidden there and laid it out on the ground. Not knowing what to say, he whispered as he reached for her in
the dim light. “Thera, I…”
Thera
reached out with her index finger and placed it gently against his lips. “Sshhh…”.
And with that, she found his lips again, and instantly, the fire
returned. Bringing her hands up, she
unzipped his jacket and pushed it off his arms. She felt his hands doing the same thing for her, and in hasty motions,
they flung their coats off to the side.
There seemed to be an urgency in their actions, as if feelings would
help them remember more meaning than words ever could.
With in
moments, they had shed their garments, and Jonah found himself hovering over
the most beautiful vision he’d ever seen.
Her skin was a creamy white, and it felt like they had melted into one
as he moved over her. Intertwining her
hands in his, he bent his head and buried his lips in her neck, caressing the
soft shape of her throat. Hearing her
soft moans of passion at his touch, both at her neck and down lower, he
captured her mouth fiercely as he entered her, his passion aching as much as
hers. Together they moved, their skin
glistening with beads of sweat from the heat created between them, and from the
heat around them. Steam from the pipes
seemed to move around them as the distant furnace fires reflected their joined
shadows on the wall beside them. As
their passion reached it’s climax, the earth below them seemed to disappear,
and together they floated, silently crying out as pleasure overtook them.
Laying
in each others arms moments later, they let their bodies relax together, the
emotions of their hearts singing in unison, even though their minds had failed
to make the connection as to where the passion had come from. But in that moment, all they knew was that
their hearts were content. For no
matter if they were Sam and Jack, or Thera and Jonah, their hearts hadn’t
forgotten the love between them, even if their minds had been stamped out.
Sam blinked back the memory, not knowing what to say. Her heart was beating too fast to speak. The memory of their night together had brought back all she’d been feeling, and she wasn’t sure what to do next.
Jack could see that Sam was thinking about the same thing he was. Hell, it was all he thought about, and shamelessly, all he longed for. But they weren’t Jonah and Thera anymore. That realization had hit him in Brenna’s office when Sam had called him “Sir”. It seemed to be such a cold word, especially coming from her.
Knowing they couldn’t just keep standing there, Jack cleared his throat and broke the silence. “So, Carter, what are you going to do with your free time?” He hated how fake his attempt at a normal conversation sounded.
Sam tried to give him a small smile. “I really don’t have a clue…Sir.” She hated how awkward she felt saying that. Knowing their intimacy and now knowing the regulations against it left her wondering where to go from here.
Jack could feel her uneasiness. “Well, Teal’c made the suggestion that we spend our time together, trying to figure things out. It could be a long shot, but it sounds more enticing than spending it alone.” Hesitating, he waited on baited breath for her response, truly scared she’d say no.
Sam looked down at her desk and saw the answer she could give him. “Well, how do you feel about horses?”
Jack looked hopeful. “Horses?”
Sam smiled. “Yeah. Apparently, I have an old family friend who has asked me to look in on his horses while he’s away for the weekend. Care to join me? There are two of them.”
Jack would have to remember to thank Teal’c next time he saw him. “Sounds fun. When do we leave?”
Picking up her keys and jacket, her eyes met his and she smiled, a bit more relaxed than a moment before. “How about now?”
Jack rubbed his hands together. “Sure thing. Let me just grab my coat and keys. Meet you on the surface?”
Sam nodded yes. As she watched him, he turned around and almost ran into the wall in his enthusiastic state. Sam couldn’t help but laugh. He looked back and gave her a hurtful look before quickly smiling with her and then disappeared down the hallway. Looking at the clock, she found it was already 1500 hours. They could ride for a while and then go from there. With hope floating through her heart, she shut her door and headed for the elevators.
Following directions from one of her fellow lab technicians, Sam and Jack arrived at the stables. Getting out of Jack’s truck, Sam suddenly had a memory flash. “Hey, I remember this place now. I use to come here all the time as a little girl, and still do on occasion, just to get away.”
Jack joined her at the front of the truck as they looked at the stables. Without warning, a memory flashed through his mind as well. “That’s right! And you named the horses Sugar and Spice. You were only 5 years old at the time.”
Sam looked over at him in surprise. “How did you know….wait, remember? We came up here last year and rode together. I rode Sugar and you rode Spice.”
Jack smiled at her excitement. “Yep, that’s right. I also remember you telling me that Spice and I had an attitude to match, which is why I was given the opportunity to ride him.” Watching her blush slightly under her smile did his heart good. Hearing one of the horses suddenly whinny, Jack clapped his hands together. “Well now, would you look at that! Spice even remembers the sound of my voice. He apparently likes my attitude.” Smirking at her, he started off towards the stables.
Sam just shook her head and laughed. As she walked to catch up with him, she had a feeling that Teal’c’s suggestion might just pay off. She was definitely looking forward to discovering all that she had shared with Jack O’Neill.
Forty-five minutes later, they had reached the summit of the trail they’d ridden before and crossed the open field at a gentle canter. Stopping at the edge of the stream, they both got off and let the horses drink. The early evening light had just begun to capture the atmosphere around them. As the sun began it’s decent, the few sparse white puffy clouds across the sky captured the rays, illuminating the earth in splashes of pink and orange. The tall grasses of the field danced gently in the light, crisp breeze, moving the few wildflowers left in perfect rhythm. The stream gurgled gently over the rocks that lined its bed, it’s water crystal clear and cold to the touch. The trees had begun to change color, and hues of red, yellow, orange, and brown could be seen mixed intermittently with the green of the leaves that had yet to change.
Jack eyed Sam as she looked at their surroundings. A peace had seemed to establish itself in her, and as the setting sun cast a glowing light all around her, he found himself at peace as well. She had an effect on him he couldn’t explain, and it was becoming more obvious with each passing moment that what had happened between them on that planet had not been just random chance. Deciding to break the silence, he spoke up. “Do you want to walk the horses for a bit?”
Sam looked over at him and smiled. “I’d like that, Sir.”
Jack winced. “Now, Sam, I see no base in sight. How about we keep things at a little more personal level. First name basis, okay?”
Sam nodded, her eyes holding his for a moment. Reaching for Sugar’s reins, they started walking beside the stream, their ears taking in the sounds from the trees around them. Branches cracked and the leaves crunched underfoot as the birds sang a song of welcome. Squirrels scurried up and down the tree branches, their beady eyes watching Sam and Jack’s movements as their bushy tails flicked back and forth in a playful rhythm.
As they walked, Jack looked down and found a single dark purple wildflower growing out of the dirt and rocks. Bending down, he plucked it from the ground. Looking at it briefly between his fingers, his eyes met Sam’s and he smiled as he handed it to her.
Sam took it and smiled. “Thank you.” Holding it up to her nose, she inhaled its scent and could feel the color rising in her cheeks as Jack watched her. “What’s this for?”
Jack shrugged as he patted Spice’s back. They had stopped temporarily, and the horses had bent their heads to munch on some grass. At Jack’s touch, Spice brought his head up and looked back at Jack, briefly snorted and then went back to his grazing. “Well, I’m really not sure. I just wanted to give it to you.” Hesitating to look for a better excuse, he continued. “Let’s say that I didn’t want Spice to step on it with his big fat hooves.” As if Spice understood what Jack had said, he stomped his back foot and adjusted his weight, pushing right into Jack. The unexpected shift in gravity sent Jack right into Sam. As they collided with Sugar’s side, the horses moved off suddenly, and sent Sam and Jack tumbling to the ground.
With Sam on top of Jack, her eyes met his and she began to laugh at his frustrated expression. With her infectious laughter, Jack soon joined her. As Sam got off him, she got up and offered him a hand up. Jack reached out and took it, pulling himself to his feet. Finding his voice, he playfully kicked a rock in Spice’s direction. “Stupid horse. Now his attitude is a lot worse than mine!” Seeing Sam giving him an “oh really” look, he conceded. “Oh alright, so he’s just a little worse than me.” Smiling at her, he continued. “Are you okay?”
Sam continued to smile. “I’m fine, Jack, thanks.” Looking down, she realized that their hands were still joined. Looking back up into his eyes, the air seemed to suddenly get a little warmer.
Jack hadn’t realized that he was still holding her hands. It felt so natural to have them within his. Squeezing lightly, he released them and ran a hand through his hair, hoping he didn’t have any leaves in it. Shoving his hands in his jacket pockets, he eyed Sam carefully. “So,” he began, “what do you want to do now?”
Sam could feel the tension between them. She hated not knowing how best to deal with what had happened between them. Looking over at the horses, she nodded her head towards them. “How about we ride back and go from there?”
Jack nodded in agreement. Pausing briefly to look at her, he finally moved forward and came up next to Spice. “Com’ here, you little shit.” At Jack’s voice, Spice raised his head and whinnied at him, moving off across the field towards the trail. “Hey! Where is he going?”
Sam laughed at Jack’s frustration. “I told you, he has an attitude. He apparently doesn’t like being called names. Don’t worry. He’ll wait for us at the trailhead. This isn’t the first time he’s done this.” Looking over at Sugar and then at Jack, she continued. “Care for a ride?”
Jack looked at the distance across the field and then at Sugar. “You bet. But I call shotgun.”
Sam smiled at him as he gathered Sugar’s reins and mounted her. Taking his outstretched hand, she swung herself up behind Jack. Under protest of the extra weight, Sugar moved forward at Jack’s nudging and started across the field. Feeling her arms around Jack’s waist gave Sam a private thrill. Though she knew she probably shouldn’t even allow such thoughts to enter her head, it couldn’t be helped. Having him so close took over any rational thought she tried to have.
As Jack reined in Sugar at the approach of the trailhead, Jack felt suddenly colder as Sam got off the horse. He had loved having her arms around him. It reminded him of that amazing night they’d shared just a day ago. Looking down at her, he smiled. “So, shall I ride Spice or do you want to?”
Sam smirked at him. “As much as I know it will hurt your ego, I don’t think Spice likes your attitude.” Laughing quietly, she continued. “I think it’s safer if I ride him back to the stables.”
Jack smiled at her. “Agreed.” Looking over at Spice, he stuck his tongue out at him and patted Sugar’s neck. Sam just shook her head as she walked over and took Spice’s reins, bending his head to say something soothing into his ear. Jack watched her with amazement at the calming effect she even had over the horse. After she had mounted Spice, they started off back down the trail towards home. The sun had dipped lower in the sky, it’s circular base almost touching the horizon. And with the coming evening, Jack found himself hoping he wouldn’t spend it alone.
Thirty minutes later, they had the horses back in their stalls, fed, watered and brushed down. Walking back to Jack’s truck, Jack looked over at her. “So, since you treated me to a fun afternoon, and we did manage to remember something, let me return the favor. How about dinner?”
Sam’s heart skipped a beat. Smiling, she answered him, hoping her answer wasn’t too hasty. “I’d love to. Where’d you have in mind?”
Jack thought for a moment. “Well, not that I’m that good at cooking, but how about we go back to my place? We don’t really need any speculating gazes from anyone we may run into at a restaurant.”
More alone time with Jack was something she couldn’t pass up. But in the same breath, it made her a bit more nervous. Was that the best idea? But once again, rational thought seemed impossible to justify when she was around him. “Sounds good. Do you want to drop me off by my car or take me back to it later?”
Jack hesitated. “Well, since I had to get directions to my house, it might be a good idea if we find it together. I’m sure once I’m home, more will come back to me.” As Sam nodded in agreement, they both got into the truck and started out for the next part of whatever the evening would bring.
An hour later, Jack came back inside from the deck and found Sam in the kitchen, finishing defrosting the chicken. “Well, bad news. I’m out of propane. Barbequing was really the only thing I felt confident doing. Do you feel like being daring?”
Never one to give up on a challenge, Sam looked down at the chicken she had just taken out of the microwave. “What about a basic chicken recipe? Do you have anything like that?”
Jack thought for a moment before going over to one of his drawers. Pulling a card out, he looked over at her. “I’ve had this recipe for a while that a friend gave me, but have never tried it. Do you want to try it?”
Sam shrugged. “Sure, it’s worth a shot.” Smiling at him, she took the card from him and began reading the ingredients.
As Jack watched her, he furrowed his brow. “I thought you didn’t cook. Remember? We had that little cooking session that one night. Kabobs and apple pie.”
Sam looked at him, realization in her face. “That’s right! You said it was a cooking lesson for both of us.” Getting lost in his smile temporarily, she continued. “That turned out really good. I think if we can do that, we can certainly handle this.”
Jack smiled at her optimism. “I like your way of thinking. We do make a pretty great team, don’t we?”
Sam looked into his eyes and smiled, answering him softly. “We do.”
Ten minutes later, they had the oven warming and the ingredients laid out. They had just finished washing the chicken, patting the pieces dry. Placing them in the baking dish, Jack spoke up. “Now what?”
Sam looked down at the recipe card. “Well, now you’re suppose to put the mayonnaise on top, coating the chicken.”
Jack looked confident. “I can do that! Stand back and watch the coating master.” Jack took the bottle and flipped the lid. As he squeezed, the built-up pressure exploded on top of the chicken, with some getting on the counter and the floor. “What the…”
Sam smiled, watching him. “Um, Jack, maybe you should…”
Jack held up a finger. “Not a word, Sam. All I have to do is move this big blob around to the other pieces, like this.” Demonstrating, he moved his brush over the mayonnaise that was concentrated on one of the pieces of chicken. Without knowing it, he moved his foot back just enough to step on the mayonnaise that had fallen on the floor. The oil in it had caused the floor to become slick, and his feet slipped out from underneath him suddenly, sending him to the floor on his butt as the pan of chicken he’d been holding followed him into his lap.
Sam jumped back, hoping to avoid the same fate. Trying not to laugh, she moved over to him. “Are you okay?”
The grin and quiet laughter coming from her as she asked her question had Jack frowning at her. “Hey! No laughing! This isn’t funny!”
Sam tried really hard to suppress her grin, but failed. “I’m really sorry, Jack, but come on, it is kind of funny.”
“Maybe for you! But you don’t have chicken lying in your lap, and you’re not covered in mayonnaise.” Jack blew out a breath of frustration. Her laughter was beginning to get to him again, and he could feel himself beginning to smile.
Seeing him starting to relax, Sam ventured on. “Well, you know Jack, since you are already covered in everything the recipe calls for expect the cornflakes, why don’t I just cover you with them. At least that way we can say we finished the recipe.”
Jack looked up at her warily. “Ha ha, very funny Major. There’s not a chance you’re doing that.”
Sam raised her eyebrow at him. “Oh really? Why not? All I have to do is this…” Sam took the cereal box and held it up over his head.
Jack tried to move the pan of chicken off his lap as fast as he could. “Carter, don’t you dare!” But before he knew it, cornflakes were falling on his head and sticking to his shirt. Jumping up, he started after her as she ran away from him.
Sam playfully screamed when he reached out and captured the back of her shirt. Pulling her to him, she collided with his chest as Jack took the box of Corn Flakes and dumped some over her head. Batting it out of his hand, they stopped, their breathing coming in heavy spurts as they faced each other, inches apart. Reaching out, Sam wiped a spot of mayonnaise off his face. “You’ve got a little bit…here.” Realizing how close they were to each other made the moment that much more intense for both of them. As Jack looked into her eyes, he started to bring his head slowly towards. Not knowing what to do, she suddenly whispered his name. “Um, Jack…”
Jack blinked and realized what he was about to do. Releasing her quickly, he looked down at his appearance and then at the kitchen around them. Brushing off his hair, he tried to change the subject. “So, how about that pizza? I think I’ve got one in the freezer..”
Sam watched as he walked over to the freezer. She could see his frustration and disappointment. She was feeling the same thing. “Look Jack, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you pull away…”
Jack looked absent-mindedly at the open freezer. “Don’t worry about it, Sam. You were right to bring me to my senses.” Sighing, he pulled out a pepperoni and sausage pizza and shut the freezer. Laying it on the counter, he looked over at her. “What happened between us….well, let’s just say life was a lot simplier as Jonah and Thera.” Hesitating, he walked over to her. “I’m not going to lie to you. As much as it sucked shoveling coal all the time, I would prefer to spend a lifetime doing that if it meant we didn’t have to feel like this.” Reaching out, he touched her face. “I would love to know that kind of freedom again.”
Sam could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Reaching up, she touched his hand. “Jack, what are we going to do?”
Jack gave her a sad smile and dropped his hand. “Well, right now I’m going to go change so I don’t smell like raw chicken and mayonnaise. Why don’t you put the pizza in?”
Sam shook her head. “No, Jack, that’s not what I meant. I…”
Jack took his finger and placed it against her lips. “I know. Let’s just take this one step at a time. Maybe we’ll remember something that will help us.” Trying to smile, he moved past her. “I’ll be right back and then we’ll get this kitchen cleaned up.”
Listening to him move down the hallway, she wiped at her eyes and bent down and picked up the Corn Flake box. Sighing, she put it on the counter and began to look for a broom and a dustpan. She hadn’t meant to make him upset by interrupting the moment. After what they had shared on that planet, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him again. But things were different here, weren’t they? He was a colonel and she was a major. What could they do? She felt like a darkness had covered her heart, and the only hope she had at seeing the light again would be for them to remember something that would give them the hope they were longing for.
As she continued to work at cleaning up the kitchen, Jack walked back in a few minutes later, having changed into a fresh pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. Looking at it, she realized there was something familiar about it. Her eyes traveled from the shirt to Jack’s face and found a mischievous grin attached to it. She was surprised to see it there considering the moment that had just happened between them. Giving him a suspicious look, she stood up, brushing her pants off. “What’s so funny?”
Jack shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know what’s more entertaining: you on your hands and knees cleaning up my kitchen floor, or the fact that you obviously recognize this shirt, but can’t place it.”
Sam put her hands on her hips. “Oh, and you remember?”
Jack smiled at her and moved over to the counter to wipe up some stray Corn Flakes. “Maybe I do, and maybe I don’t…”
Sam threw the dishtowel at him. “Jack O’Neill, you’d better tell me, or else…”
Jack turned around. “Or else what? You’ll dump some more Corn Flakes on my head?”
Sam smiled back at him. “Don’t tempt me. So? Are you going to tell me or not?”
Jack put his hands up. “Alright, you win. After all, I would prefer to have some Corn Flakes left to eat in the morning.” Happy to see that the tension had at least temporarily faded between them, he continued. “Do you remember the mission where we got stuck in Antarctica and didn’t know it?”
Sam winced. “Yeah, how could I forget that. We almost froze to death, and you were in really bad shape. I was incredibly frustrated that I couldn’t get the Stargate working to get you home.”
Jack nodded. “Well, as you might recall, I also got a broken leg from that experience. When I was finally healed enough, you helped me home and had dinner ready for me. I insisted that you stay and eat with me.”
Memories of that night suddenly started flashing through Sam’s mind. “That’s right. There was a bad storm that night, and I was serving cheesecake when the lights suddenly went out and I got dessert all over me. And that was the shirt I changed into.”
Jack smiled back at her as she remembered. “You’ve got it. I must admit that it was quite funny.”
“Yeah, maybe for you,” Sam said. Even though she was trying to appear offended, the effect was lost on her as a smile began to appear on her face.
Jack continued to smile with her as he walked over to the oven to put the pizza in. Glancing over at her, he spoke up. “Yeah, that was a fun night.” Cautiously, he went on. “And I have to say that I didn’t mind waking up with you either.”
Sam stopped wiping up the counter and closed her eyes. She had her back to Jack and could feel his eyes on her. She simply nodded. “I was surprised, that’s for sure.” Turning around, she met his eyes. “But as much as I was surprised, I can say that I was also just as happy.”
Jack approached her slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. Stopping inches from her, he reached out for her hand, speaking softly. “Then what are we doing? Trying to hold to rules that we’ve already broken? It’s obvious to me that even though we haven’t gained all of our memories back, there’s something between us.”
Sam looked down at their hands joined together. Squeezing gently, she looked back up at him. “I agree. But how can we be sure we’re right? I guess I’m afraid that if I give myself too much hope, when we finally do remember, I’ll just be hurt because we will have guessed wrong.” The kitchen suddenly became too small for her to stay in. Releasing his hand, she slid past him and hurried for the backdoor that led to the deck. Throwing it open, she ran outside and stopped at the rail. Tears had begun to stream down her face and this time she didn’t attempt to stop them.
It was a beautiful, windless night. A cresent moon hung overhead, it’s white light casting a gentle glow on the surroundings. The stars twinkled brightly above, and in the distance, an owl out on an evening hunt cried from the treetops. As Sam’s eyes searched the sky, she focused on a star that seemed to be twinkling more than the rest. Peering at it through her tears, she suddenly remembered why she was so drawn to it. “Charlie,” she whispered, a sad smile forming upon her lips. Memories of when she had talked with what she saw as Charlie’s star began floating through her mind. Hugging herself with her arms, she rested her elbows on the railing and continued to watch the sky. Sighing, she continued to whisper softly to herself. “What are we suppose to do, Charlie? Your dad and I really need some help here. Are we following the right path? Is there hope for us?”
“Sam.”
Jack’s voice invaded Sam’s ears, startling her. Whipping around, she found him watching her only a few inches from where she stood. The color from his face seemed to have drained from his face a little, and he seemed at a loss for words. “Jack, I…I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” It was then that her brain registered the music that was now floating on the breeze from inside the house.
Jack shook his head slightly. “It’s…okay. I took the pizza out. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to…were you talking to Charlie?”
Sam felt like she just wanted to melt into the woodwork on the deck. Not knowing quite what to say, she just nodded. Finally finding her voice, she spoke up, her cheeks still glistening with the tears she’d just cried. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just, well, it’s just that….in order to feel closer to you, I remembered that I used to talk to a star in the sky, and I liked to think of it as Charlie watching over you.”
Jack was shocked and moved all in the same emotion. He had no idea that she even thought about his late son, let alone believe he was watching over them. For having never known Charlie, it told Jack all he needed to know about Sam and how she felt about him. Memories would come with time, but knowing that she extended herself to the point of connecting with such an important part of his past just melted his heart. Reaching out, he touched her face and wiped her tear-streaked cheeks. “Com’ here.”
Pulling her into his arms, he held her close, burying his head into her neck, feeling like he wanted to cry too. After a moment, he released her and cupped her chin with his hand. “Well,” Jack said, a loving smile on his face, “I like to think he’s watching over us.”
Sam couldn’t believe that he wasn’t angry with her for connecting on a level that was closed off to most people. Giving him a surprised look, she responded. “You’re not…mad at me for that?”
Jack released her chin and put his arm around her shoulders as he pointed up to the exact star she had just been looking at. “Every time I’ve felt despair, anxiety, confusion, or anger, I seem to always go back to that star.” Bringing his arm back down, he turned her towards him, putting his arms around her waist and drawing her close. “After Charlie died, and I found solitude in my telescope up on the roof. That star seemed to just suddenly appear one night. If it’s an astronomical coincidence or not, I don’t know. But it helped me thinking it was Charlie’s eyes watching over me, trying to tell me he was okay, and that I’d be okay. Knowing now that you picked that same star and connected it with Charlie only tells me that I’m right. He is watching over me, over us.”
Sam could feel her eyes welling up again. “He brought us together.” Smiling through her tears, she brought her hand up to his cheek. “Jack,” she whispered, “thank you for understanding.”
Jack just shook his head gently. “Thank you,” he said. Bringing his hand up to her cheek, he closed his eyes and let his heart guide him the rest of the way. When their lips finally touched, the feel of her flesh on his not only sent a fire through his body, but also sent sparks through his mind. Instantly, all the missing memories he’d been searching for came flowing back, flooding his body with a multitude of emotions. Jerking back from the intense kiss, his eyes met hers, and he could see that she had just experienced the same thing.
“Jack,” Sam said suddenly, still whispering, “I love you.”
Jack smiled lovingly back at her. “I love you too, Sam. I can’t believe I ever forgot that.”
Sam placed her hand over his chest. “We may have forgotten, but apparently our hearts didn’t. They kept us together.” Looking up at the sky, she continued. “And Charlie kept us together.”
Kissing her again with vigor, Jack wrapped her tightly in his arms and looked up at the star shining down on them. “Thanks, Charlie.”
Slowly, they began to sway to the music coming from the house, and as they did, a new song started on the radio. There, dancing under the stars, in the quiet of the night, the words that rang out almost seemed to be Charlie speaking to them as they danced and listened with love in their hearts.
There are things
in life you’ll learn and
In time you’ll see
Cause out there
somewhere
It’s all waiting
If you keep
believing
So don’t run,
don’t hide
It will be all
right
You’ll see, trust
me
I’ll be there
watching over you
Just take a look
through my eyes
There’s a better
place
Somewhere out
there
Just take a look
through my eyes
Everything changes
You’ll be amazed
what you’ll find
If you look
through my eyes
There will be
times on this journey
All you’ll see is
darkness
Out there
somewhere daylight finds you
If you keep
believing
So don’t run,
don’t hide
It will be all
right
You’ll see, trust
me
I’ll be there
watching over you
Just take a look
through my eyes
There’s a better
place
Somewhere out
there
Just take a look
through my eyes
Everything changes
You’ll be amazed
what you’ll find
If you look
through my eyes
All the things
that you can change
There’s a meaning
in everything
And you will find
all you need
There’s so much to
understand
Just take a look
through my eyes
There’s a better
place
Somewhere out
there
Just take a look
through my eyes
Everything changes
You’ll be amazed
what you’ll find
If you look
through my eyes
Take a look
through my eyes
Author’s Note: So continuing with tradition, here’s another easy recipe to add to your collection! It great and so easy to prepare! Enjoy!
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
¾ c. Miracle Whip Light Mayonnaise
1-2 c. cornflake crumbs
½-1 c. Parmesan cheese (or any shredded cheese of choice)
Dash of salt, pepper, and dill weed
*Preheat oven to 350 degrees
*lightly spray a 9x13 baking dish with Pam cooking spray
*brush chicken generously with Miracle Whip (may require more or less depending on preference---the more you put on, the juicier the chicken)
*crunch up the cornflakes (I use a handy chopper) and spread evenly over chicken breasts
*sprinkle chicken with salt, pepper, dill weed, and any other spice(s) you may prefer
*place in oven and bake for 45 minutes
*at the 45 minute mark, temporarily take chicken out of oven and sprinkle cheese generously over top
*return to oven for another 15-20 minutes (depending on how thick the chicken breasts are) until the cheese is melted and the chicken juices run clear
*serves 3-4
Next Story---> "Consequences"