New Horizons (part 2)
Nearing the General's office, Sam vainly tried
calming her nerves by forcing the conversation with Daniel to the back of her
mind until she had time to think it through at her leisure. Pausing for a moment, she carefully wiped her
eyes one final time, concentrating on portraying her best neutral expression
for the man that was her very perceptive commanding officer.
She
knew Jack was highly intelligent, and much smarter than he let on. Plus, he knew her like no one else; not even
Pete. She had to be very, very careful
or he'd quickly pick up on the doubts and confusion assailing her now as never
before. For years they'd been best
friends, plus a little more. On one of
her good days he could read her like a book, and today wasn't a particularly
banner day. It was imperative she only
project the image of the consummate professional he believed her to be. Otherwise, he'd recognize instantly something
was up. Besides, she really didn’t want
to put herself in the position of having to play twenty questions with him,
particularly not in her present emotional state.
But
most of all, she didn’t want to disappoint him.
She knew there was really no reason to worry. He might not like it, but when it came to her
private life, he almost never pried without being encouraged. She loved that about him, making her respect
him that much more. Realizing her
thoughts were once again straying in a direction she dared not permit, she
forced herself back to the present and entered his aide's office.
Lieutenant Harter was now conspicuously missing. His desk was neat and tidy and she could see his jacket and hat were missing from the coat tree by the door. ‘The general must have sent him home for the night,’ she concluded. Wishing she could be so lucky, she steeled herself for what she feared would be another disastrous discussion, knocked three times, and then quickly walked unbidden through the General’s open door.
Looking up from the report he’d been studying since
hanging up from talking with the President ten minutes ago, Lieutenant General
Jack O’Neill was grateful for any interruption.
Since it was his favorite Lt. Colonel doing the interrupting, it was
enough to make him feel downright cheerful in spite of the fact it was already
past midnight. Quickly standing as she
entered, he smiled and executed an exaggerated toss of the report in the
general direction of his bulging out basket.
“Hey, Carter, come on in,” he greeted enthusiastically. “You know, I was beginning to think you
might be ignoring me,” he beamed, “and I know you wouldn’t want to do that.”
Sam couldn’t help but grin. Coming to a stop before her CO’s huge
mahogany desk, she snapped to attention and saluted smartly, “Oh no, of course
not, Sir,” she chuckled in spite of her melancholy mood. Then, in her most formal and especially
aggravating voice she added, “Lt. Colonel Carter reporting as ordered, Sir.”
Looking at the woman standing before him, he
couldn’t help feeling immensely proud.
Without a doubt, she was one of the finest officers he’d ever worked
with and an excellent field commander.
If he couldn’t lead SG-1 himself, he was glad he’d been able to leave it
in her very capable hands. She deserved
the privilege, and he was thankful she’d been ready for the position, as well
as the accompanying promotion.
Normally very soft spoken, she nearly always exuded a
quiet confidence, ability and caring. As
far as he could tell, most everyone loved being around her. She was kind and considerate to a fault, but
hard as nails when she needed to be.
Although a brilliant scientist in her own right, she wasn’t arrogant
like that pompous ass McKay. She always tried
to help by leading him along logically to see the answer to a problem rather
than tell him in a way that might belittle or embarrass.
To Jack’s eyes, she was also a vision of
loveliness. Her body was lithe, slim,
and athletic, yet very feminine. She was
beautifully proportioned and shapely with long, well-toned legs that could make
a guy drool when she just casually walked by.
Her hair was blond and short, done in a very attractive shag cut, and
when she graced him with a smile, it nearly always took his breath away. He’d always been especially proud of the fact
she seemed to keep one of her best reserved just for him. It always cheered him up when he was upset,
depressed, or just bone tired. Staring now
into the depths of her unblinking, sapphire blue eyes, he couldn’t help feeling
an almost irresistible attraction to walk over and take her in his arms and
kiss her till they both fainted from lack of oxygen.
But he knew it would almost certainly be a fatal
attraction because unfortunately, she was also his subordinate, something he
could never forget. For all intents and
purposes, she was forever out of reach.
True, she was one of his two best friends, just nothing more, although
he fervently wished she could be. Jack
winced as a momentary stab of regret wrenched at his heart, and not for the
first time either. And it most certainly
wouldn’t be the last. But he knew here
on base was neither the time nor place to entertain such foolish, pointless,
romantic notions.
Mulling it all over again wouldn't help anyway. The odds were it never would have worked out,
even if the Air Force regs allowed. Besides, she was involved with another man,
and although he was fairly sure she still had at least some feelings for him,
she’d rendered the point moot by choosing Pete over waiting for any possible
future with him. Although she'd told him
of his proposal, Daniel had been the one to tell him she’d finally accepted. Given the breadth and depth of his own feelings
for her, it had really been gut-wrenching to hear the news from someone else.
He’d decided nearly a year ago that if all he could
be was be her good friend, he’d at least give it his best shot. He’d tried really hard to be the rock she
could always rely on; hell, he’d even come to accept her relationship with Pete. Of course, he still didn’t like the man, but
he’d decided for her sake to keep his mouth shut if he didn’t have anything
good to say about him.
Jack knew he still thought about her a lot more than
he should. The fact was, he loved her more now than ever. He’d never be able to do anything about it
though, and that simple realization threatened to tear his heart out. But the feeling wasn’t new, and although it
hurt to think about, at least it was something he was used to. ‘Without a doubt, she’s worth the pain,’ he
reminded himself with a sigh.
Realizing with a start that his reflections had
caused the silence between them to grow a bit awkward, Jack forced himself quickly
back to reality. Sam was still at
attention, but her smile was gone, replaced by a look of mild confusion. “Oh, sorry," he confessed, "my mind
wandered there for a sec’. At ease, Colonel.” As
an afterthought he added, “And by the way, you know the rules, no laughing, and
that includes chuckling! Now, have a
seat. You want some coffee?” he asked
good-naturedly.
“Thank you, Sir.
And no, I’m fine,” Sam replied.
Once again, she felt an awkward, but otherwise deep and abiding
affection for the man watching her so intently.
Feeling somewhat flustered and wondering what he'd been mulling over as
he watched her moments ago, she glanced away before gracefully side-stepping
and sinking into a plush leather chair across from his desk, once again
resolving to reign in any wayward thoughts.
Folding her hands and placing them in her lap, she looked back up
expectantly and asked, “You wanted to see me?”
Clearing his throat, he answered her question while
simultaneously forcing his own inappropriate thoughts to the very back of his
mind, “Yes, I did, Carter, about three different things actually. But we’ll get to them in a second. For now, just talk to me a while. Lord knows, we don’t get much of a chance to
do that anymore. So, how ya’ doing anyway? In
the briefing you seemed to be… oh, distracted, for lack of a better word, like
something’s bothering you. I think I
know part of the reason why; that's one of my discussion points. In the meantime, don’t worry; just talk to
me. I’m not going to chew your head off
or anything, I promise!”
"Uh, Sir, no disrespect intended, but I just
got back from a really lousy mission, and it's well after
Jack frowned a second as he thought about her
remark. He was a little taken aback by
the severity of the response, but decided it was best to just brush it off like
it was no big deal. “Yes, well, I heard
by way of the grapevine you finally said yes to becoming
Mrs. Shanahan.” When she remained silent,
he relaxed a little and forced a smile he didn’t really feel. “So, I guess congratulations are in
order. You two got everything all set
for the big day? You know, if there's
anything I can do, anything at all, you’ve just got to say the word.” Moving to perch atop his desk, he watched her
carefully, hoping for any indication as to what she might be thinking. Almost instantly, his efforts were rewarded
as he glimpsed her involuntarily frown and subtlely
grimace before being forcefully quashed, instantly confirming Jack’s suspicion
that something was definitely wrong.
Sam cringed at his words because she could just
imagine how hard it must be to keep up such a noncommittal act in the face of
what must look like her total rejection of him in order to marry another man. In her heart, she knew Jack loved her in a
way that was infinitely deeper and more profound than Pete ever could. But that knowledge was bittersweet as her
logical, ordered mind continued to wrestle with her heart for dominance.
The whole thing could have
been resolved several weeks ago when she’d been monitoring a simulation running
in her lab while being inexorably drawn into thinking about Jack and wondering
why she was feeling so uneasy about accepting Pete’s proposal. When he ambled in unexpectedly through the
open door, she realized they had to finally talk about their mutual feelings. She couldn’t go on regretting what might have
been and have any chance of happiness with the man she was strongly considering
marrying. It wasn’t fair to any of them.
Sam couldn’t help but think
back to what transpired. She’d known
then what she knew now, that it was normal to have a few doubts, but she’d
begun wondering if the whole “forget about Jack, you can never have him, so
just get on with your life” thing was actually the right decision. She’d been sure it was several months ago
when she met Pete. But as she thought
about it with him standing there on the other side of her counter, she wasn’t
so sure. Yeah, she had companionship and
all that entailed, but she was increasingly wondering if what she was getting
was worth the eventual price. She’d been
forced to push away the man she really wanted and replace him with her second
choice, albeit a very good one, who definitely loved her and stood ready to
give her nearly everything she’d always dreamed of. For some reason though, instead of dulling
the ache in her heart for Jack, through no fault of his own, Pete only made it
worse. She was considering all the
possible ramifications of that reality when Jack walked through her open door.
"Carter, I distinctly
remember you agreeing to meet me and the guys in the cafeteria at 1200,” he began
sternly. Quickly glancing down at his
watch he added, "It is now exactly 1247.
I want to know what's so important you can't keep a date?" he asked
pointedly. His expression immediately
softened as a faint smile graced his dark, handsome face.
Her head snapped up,
surprised to hear the object of her quandary standing on the other side of the
desk addressing her. Knowing intuitively
that this was one of those times he’d just as soon their discussion be
informal, she kept her seat, moving instead to slowly rub the back of her neck
as she answered, "Oh, I'm sorry, Sir, I just wanted to finish up this
simulation, and I guess I kind of lost track of the time. You guys went ahead and ate without me,
right? I can run down and get something
later if I really get hungry," she concluded, sensing her single-minded
devotion to duty had somehow disappointed him once again.
Anticipating her response
almost verbatim, Jack slowly shook his head in disapproval before proudly handing
her a small bag he'd been concealing behind his back. To her surprise, she found inside a quarter
of a turkey sub sandwich with everything on it – just the way she liked it, a
bag of chips, a small tub of blue jello complete with
plastic spoon, a napkin with a smiley face drawn on it, and an exquisitely cold
Diet Coke. Beaming her gratitude for his
thoughtfulness, she stumbled out meaningfully, "Thank you Sir. That is so sweet of you."
Opening the sandwich and taking
a big bite, she chewed appreciatively, absently
considering just how much she’d missed all the other silly little things he
used to do for her, and the harmless, flirtatious bent their conversations
often took. Almost immediately, thoughts
of Pete surfaced unbidden, bringing such pleasant reminiscing to an abrupt end
and making her feel more than a little ashamed at her mental lack of control.
Just as suddenly, she
realized how silly it was to continue sitting here wanting to talk about their
deep-seeded feelings for each other without making any attempt to initiate the
conversation. What she needed to do was simply
confront him. If she could just
ascertain whether he was willing to forget her and move on himself, then maybe
she could finally let him go too, and finally be free to focus wholeheartedly
on Pete. The problem though, was how to
get started.
Relational matters never
were her forte, much less talking openly about them. Briefly considering and rejecting at least a half dozen different openers, she finally gave up the plan
in disgust. Instead, she set down her
drink and quickly wiped her mouth and hands before opening up a side drawer and
reaching inside. Pulling out and opening
the black velvet box containing Pete’s ring, she carefully laid it on the
desktop before shoving it over in front of Jack. One part of her hoped he'd be happy enough
for her to finally release any and all control over her heart, while the lion’s
share desperately hoped for him to realize what it signified and beg her not to
accept his proposal.
Glancing down at the ring only
briefly, Jack slowly lifted his head back up to meet her gaze. The twin looks of hurt and regret shining in
his dark eyes nearly tore her heart out.
In that moment, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he didn't see it as
an opportunity, but rather a total rejection of him as any prospect for her
attentions.
If she'd been able to force
herself to speak she would have, telling him all he needed to do was just tell
her plainly and simply he loved her, and somehow they’d find a way around the regs and she’d forget about Pete. But he couldn’t or wouldn't, choosing instead to just stand there, watching her as if he
expected her to say something. Frozen in
place, she could only look back as she had during her hallucination aboard the 'Prometheus',
her heart aching to hear just those few simple words. After what seemed an eternity of silence,
they both sensed the opportunity had evaporated like a morning fog. Thinking back on it now, she was almost sure
there’d been a single tear in the corner of one eye as he sighed with regret
before looking away. After that, they’d
only talked a few moments about insignificant things before Jack politely
excused himself and walked away, leaving a void in her
heart she wondered if Pete could ever fill.
At least a dozen times since, she’d thought about
going to see him in his office or home to attempt to talk things through and
reassure him she still loved him in spite of the decision she’d felt compelled
to make as a direct consequence of what happened, or rather, didn’t happen that
day. She didn't know how he'd take it,
but she had to tell him; she owed him at least that much. Each and every one of those times she’d
intended to invite him to the wedding too, but she’d never figured out how to
do either without tearing up or outright loosing it completely.
Sitting here now gazing back at him in his office,
Sam’s mind was like a computer running code.
It reviewed and subsequently rejected several possible responses. Each time she looked into his beautiful
chocolate eyes, she found her thoughts getting all muddled. In light of her recent soul-searching with
Daniel, she’d resolved to finally at least be honest with herself and admit
that yes, he was more than just a close friend.
She knew he was genuinely interested in her welfare. But she also knew he still cared for her a
lot more than he was supposed to. Deep
down in her heart on a level no one else could see, she was glad. Because no matter how she tried ignoring her
own feelings, she felt the same way. She
just wasn’t sure it was such a good thing in light of her engagement, but she’d
get it all resolved soon enough. ‘I have
to,’ she reminded herself.
Unfortunately, reciprocating her slowly evolving
feelings still wasn’t much of an option.
Even if it had been, nothing had changed. The duty and regulations that had always
prevented any possibility of a relationship were still rigidly in place. As a result, not quite a year ago she’d
forced herself to examine her life objectively.
Sam knew she wasn’t getting any younger. The stress of her work was beginning to weigh
heavily on her body. She’d been told if
she was ever going to settle down and start a family it needed to be soon.
So, she’d made the conscious decision to get a life
even if that meant moving on without him.
It had been incredibly hard, and closing the door to any possibility of
spending her life with the man she’d secretly loved for so long had nearly
broken her heart. She’d taken leave and
rode her motorcycle, an old restored Indian, up into the mountains of
After mentally chastising herself for thinking about
it all over again, she decided to stop thinking about it altogether and just concentrate
on answering his question. Determined to
make her reply sound as noncommittal as possible, she carefully responded, “Uh,
Sir, I guess I’ve just had a good bit on my mind lately,” she stammered. “Wall to wall missions, the wedding; you
know… the usual."
“Yeah, well, I have had you guys pretty busy,” he
replied casually. “For what it’s worth,
I have it on real good authority you’re going to be seeing a lot more downtime
pretty soon," he grinned. "You
might even have a chance to relax some."
Suddenly, his face lit up in inspiration. "In fact, that gives me an idea. Why don't you come up to my cabin for a while?" Seeing her eyebrows shoot up, he hastened to
add, "Don't get alarmed, Carter. I'm not talking about with me, and not Daniel
or Teal'c, either. It'd finally be a
chance for you to see my place. Maybe
not the way I'd always planned, but…”
Pausing for the briefest moment, he let his voice trail off quickly as
he averted his eyes while appearing to be lost in a private thought. A moment later he continued as if nothing had
happened, “If you want, take Pete with you.
Call it an early wedding present."
It almost strangled him to make such an offer, but he was determined
that she never know. After all, what
would be the point?
Confident he'd managed to conceal the momentary pang
of jealousy clinching at his heart, he continued on. "You could just sit for hours on the dock
fishing or whatever. There are also
hundreds of miles of trails to explore, if you like that sort of thing. You can soak up the sun by day and enjoy a
nice cozy fire come evening. It'd be a
chance for you to really unwind, relax, and perish the thought, even
think! I know that's got to interest
you! I sense that you really need some
time alone. Come on, Carter, I know it'd
do you a world of good. What do you
say?”
Sam couldn't believe the generosity of his
offer. It really would be fantastic to
be alone for a while and finally be able to just think. ‘Whatever I want to do,’ she thought. She had to admit, the idea certainly was
appealing.
She’d wanted to go ever since about the second year
she’d been part of SG-1 and he’d invited her that first time. She’d never accepted, sensing intuitively
that she shouldn’t for several different reasons, not the least of which was
their intense mutual attraction. Even
then, she’d realized there was no possible way she could keep her hands to
herself while being totally alone with such a gorgeous man.
For his part, she was pretty sure he’d come to
basically the same conclusion. He’d always
been a gentleman about it though, and never actually pushed when she
declined. It ended up becoming just
another way of flirting harmlessly to cover a smoldering desire they both had
fantasies about, but dared not tempt themselves with by being alone together
socially. Now, it was even more out of
the question, especially considering she was engaged to another man. Once again, a wave of remorse washed over her
at what she'd done to him - to both of them in fact, and it was all she could
do to prevent the tears from forming all over again.
With Pete, she’d found a man to share her life with
and the physical relationship she’d basically been denied the last eight
years. What she really had to decide now
was whether she loved Pete enough to marry him, and dragging him up into the
wilds of
Thinking back to her recent discussion with Daniel,
she could see that he'd been dead right in his assessment. Pete represented most of the problem she had
to think through, not Jack, as she’d thought that day in her lab. There was no way she could be objective about
her feelings when they were alone together in a remote cabin. 'Not that I wouldn't enjoy it,' she reminded
herself. Almost immediately, she felt
guilty for relishing the physical aspect of their relationship so much,
chastising herself for even entertaining the notion. Idly, she wondered if it was the great sex they
had together that she craved more than the man himself. The possibility was sobering, making her
realize that this was just another thing she needed to think through later.
Forcing her mind back to the offer itself, she
considered what a huge blow it would be to Jack's ego if she did decide to take
Pete, even though it had been his suggestion.
Although he'd never admit it, she was positive Jack hated Pete almost as
much as he still cared about her. It would
kill him if she actually took him along.
If the situation was reversed, she’d certainly feel that way.
Jack had always appeared to accept their
relationship, but that was a facade.
He’d been hurt, and this would just add insult to injury. She knew he’d suck it all up and be the
honorable man. He’d bury it so deep no
one but her would ever know. Sam looked
back with affection at the man that in spite of the odds and everything she’d
done to him still adored her, and determined that no matter what happened,
she’d never willingly hurt him like that again.
Realizing he was patiently awaiting a response, she averted
her eyes and chose her words carefully, attempting to answer truthfully without
displaying too much of her seething emotions. "Sir, I, I really don't know what to
say. It's incredibly sweet of you to
offer. You don’t know how much I’d like
to take you up on it. But I can't impose
like that. If it’s half as nice up there
as you’ve described, I know I’d love it.
And to offer to let me take Pete… well, Sir, I know we'd really enjoy
the time together. But I don’t think
that’d be fair to you. So no, I think
I’ll just go home to relax. It won’t be
as nice, but I'll be okay. Thank you, Sir,
for offering, really. It means a lot to
me." She hoped Jack
understood. If she said any more, he’d
certainly pick up on the volatility of her feelings. And there was no way she could explain them
to him at this point, especially when she didn’t even understand them fully
herself.
Jack studied her face, considering her answer. Shaking his head, he couldn’t help thinking,
‘Sam, why can’t you just once accept something at face value without thinking
it to death?’ He’d really hoped she’d
take him up on his offer. Nobody at the
SGC worked any harder or longer than she did.
Her devotion to duty was almost legendary. Jack only wished he was as dedicated to his
own job as she was hers. ‘As smart as
she is, why can’t she see that working so hard and long can’t possibly be good
for her?’ he wondered.
Knowing there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of
changing her mind once she’d made it up, he gave in
gracefully rather than making a big fuss.
A very wise general once told him you needed to pick your battles
carefully, never expending valuable capital fighting one you can’t win. And this was probably one of those. If she was willing to go home and rest, then
he’d really accomplished the objective anyway.
‘We’ll just have to get her out of here and see that she stays gone a
while,’ he resolved.
With that thought firmly in mind and seeing no small
talk forthcoming, he finally addressed her again, “Carter, I can’t make you go,
and I wouldn’t presume to even if I could; you know that. I just want to see you slow down some and
take a little better care of yourself.
And unless I’m not reading you too well today, I think you’re pretty
apprehensive about your wedding. All I
ask is you go home when we’re finished here, get yourself a nice hot bath,
maybe a little wine, and think things through.
Most importantly, I want you to get a good night’s sleep, and I’m
ordering you to stay gone for at least forty-eight hours. Is that understood?” he finished with mock
severity.
As Sam listened, she was momentarily peeved to be
ordered to stay away from her job, along with how to conduct her own
downtime. Seeing the briefest of smiles
flit across his face as he finished speaking, her aggravation evaporated in the
face of his obvious concern for her welfare.
There was no way she could be mad at him for simply caring.
Resisting her thoughts being inexorably drawn back
to him in a fashion she seemed more and more powerless to prevent, she blurted
out without even thinking, “Yes, Sir, I will, only not tonight. Pete’s at the house waiting; I really doubt
we’ll have an early evening of it.
Tomorrow, though, I promise.” Sam
bit her lip hard as it dawned on her what she’d just said. ‘Why did I just say that?’ she gasped
inwardly. In spite of the openness of
their relationship, she was embarrassed, finding it suddenly impossible to even
look him in the eye. “I mean…” she
began.
“Never mind,” Jack interrupted brusquely, “I
understand.” His voice was quiet and
resolute, containing none of the humor he’d shown only moments before. The little smile that had looked so natural
gracing his handsome, weathered face was gone, replaced momentarily by one of
pain and hurt.
Glancing back up, Sam saw him grimace. She wanted to say something to undo the
betrayal shining in his eyes, but the unintended words had stunned her too, and
she couldn’t recover fast enough. When
she finally did, it was little more than a squeak. Even to her, it sounded pathetically
weak. “I’m sorry, Sir. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have said anything at all.”
As if sensing her discomfort, Jack took a deep
breath and forced himself to shrug off the little dagger she’d inadvertently
thrown. He knew she hadn’t meant to. It just slipped out. After all, she was human, too. There was no point in letting her feel badly
because her love life made him uncomfortable.
As he opened his mouth to smooth everything over and
tell her it was okay, she abruptly interrupted.
“Begging the General’s pardon, Sir, you said there were some things you
wanted to talk about.”
Grateful that she seemed ready to move on as well,
he responded simply. “Yeah, Carter, I
did.” Briefly pausing to refocus his
thoughts, he forced himself into business mode and launched into the first item
on his punch list. “First off, let me
say something about your little problem off world. Now, I know you’ve already beaten yourself up
over what happened far beyond anything I might say or do. So I don’t see the need to pile more coals on
the fire. I know it was a pretty tough
mission. And I know you tried to defuse
what you perceived to be a potentially explosive situation the best way you
knew how. To your credit, you accomplished
just that. But here’s the bottom line: there
was a better way to accomplish it, and I think you see that now. ‘Nuff said?” he
asked, studying her face intently.
Sam shook her head appreciatively. She deserved and expected to be royally
chewed out for such a lapse in judgment, possibly even receive a written
reprimand. “Yes Sir,” she acknowledged
gratefully, just barely able to contain her relief. She’d been holding her breath without even
realizing it. “I’ve definitely learned a
lesson, and it won’t happen again,” she promised.
Jack watched her reaction, confident from her tone
of voice and flushed face that she took the matter very seriously. If Carter had been any other officer, he
would have been obliged to offer a lot more extensive guidance on the relative
merits of various leadership styles. But
she was his most experienced and capable officer, one he’d personally had the
privilege to groom for command. Now that
she was a leader in her own right, there was no telling how far up the chain of
command she might eventually ascend.
Certainly she had the ability, and he wanted to be sure she was ready
when an opportunity presented itself.
For that reason alone, he felt obliged to ensure she understood the
gravity of her error, but knowing how smart she was, could see no reason to
beat her over the head with it like she was some green kid lieutenant.
As she was speaking, Jack’s attention had inevitably
been drawn back into considering just how beautiful she was. It never ceased to amaze him that she didn't
have droves of guys other than Pete and himself vying for her affection. He wondered idly if Pete had any clue how
lucky a man he really was.
Sam was the quintessential American beauty. He was all but certain she was naturally
blond, with gorgeous blue eyes that were so expressive she could use them to
practically charm the hiss right out of a snake. But what he loved most was that in looking into
their crystalline depths, he always felt like he was looking through a window
into her very soul. In fact, they’d both
become rather adept at being able to almost intuitively read each other’s moods
and impressions as clearly as if describing them audibly. As their friendship and feelings evolved over
the years, so did their special ability.
Whether it was a real phenomenon or just a figment of his imagination,
Jack could only speculate. But what he
did know was that he treasured their unique gift above all else because it was
the one thing only the two of them still shared.
With a start, he realized he was staring again. Mentally kicking himself for being caught
like a love sick teen, he refocused his mind on the second bulleted item on his
punch list. “Good, Carter. Now, the next thing I want to do is get your
thoughts on a proposal we received from the Asgard
while you were out slapping mosquitoes off world. Nothing’s been decided mind you, and I
probably shouldn’t even be mentioning it to you at this point. So it goes without saying that this is top
secret stuff, even for the SGC,” he finished with a sly grin.
Her curiosity definitely peaked, she answered, “Of
course, Sir. Mum’s the word.”
Seeing he had her undivided attention, Jack relaxed
a little and considered how much he was looking forward to discussing this
latest project to see if her impression of the whole thing paralleled his
own. Over the years, he’d come to
cherish not only sitting and talking with Sam as best friend and confidant in
all matters not relating to the two of them, but also to rely on her as an
excellent military and technical sounding board whenever he had a project
needing additional planning or refinement.
Sam had always been able to listen to his fractured, incomplete
questions or explanations of something and make suggestions and changes that
turned it into a workable finished product simple enough that even he could
understand it.
Although the final decision whether or not they had
a go for this particular mission wouldn’t be up to him, he wanted to make his
recommendation based on her input as well.
He knew if it got approved, she and SG-1 could expect to be intimately
involved. In fact, they’d been
specifically requested. One thing that
had been a sticking point with the Joint Chiefs of Staff was the Asgard request that it be the original SG-1, which of
course included him. His gut feeling was
they wanted him along for some as yet undisclosed reason. But for the life of him, he couldn’t figure
out what that reason was.
For his part, he yearned to get out from behind the
desk that had him virtually imprisoned in his own facility, and back out into
the field where he felt most comfortable.
Somehow, signing requisitions and sending good people off world knowing
the risks of injury and death, just wasn’t his idea of a meaningful end to a
long and fairly distinguished career. That
kind of shear boredom interspersed with an occasional moment of unimaginable
responsibility still couldn’t compare to the excitement of routinely leading a
team into the unknown to meet aliens and kicking Goa’uld ass on a regular
basis. He knew one of the two major
holdups about this particular mission was the considerable skepticism at the
Pentagon about whether the SGC Commander had any business going off world, considering
the risks involved.
Absently picking up a small model from his desk and
idly turning it over a few times, he considered how best to begin. Finally reaching a decision, he set the model
back down and looked up into Sam’s curious face. “Carter, as I said, the Asgard,
Thor, to be more precise, sent us a top secret communiqué about two weeks ago
requesting a meeting with the President and Joint Chiefs, as well as myself and
General Hammond, for the purpose of proposing a rather unique mission for
SG-1. It seems they’ve been contacted
recently by a race of folks they call the Piraxan,
and to make a long story short, told them all about us. For some reason, the Piraxan
have decided we merit investigation and have requested a meeting to ascertain
our cosmic worthiness as it were.”
Stopping just long enough to verify Sam was well and
truly hooked, he smiled briefly at the intense expression she wore before
continuing. “Now, we’ve been told the Piraxan race was long thought gone the way of the Ancients;
either moved on from this odd little corner of the universe or extinct. Apparently, even the Asgard
were surprised to hear from them. According to Thor, they’ve had no contact for
about the last fourteen hundred or so years.
Now, all this in itself is only relatively interesting, but there’s a
kicker: from what I was told, the Piraxan are even
more advanced than the Asgard. I guess you could think of them kind of like
a super race of science professors.
Although I gather the Piraxan and Asgard civilizations were once more or less at the same
level technologically, for some reason they’ve skipped way ahead since leaving
this region of space. Now personally, I
find it just a bit peculiar why the Asgard never
mentioned them before if they were such good buddies. I asked Thor, but he said he needed to get
back to his ship and beamed out without giving me an answer. I thought that rather odd, but….”
Stopping a moment to gage Sam’s reaction so far, he
noticed her staring blankly at an imaginary spot on the opposite wall, fingers steepled in her lap and listening intently, obviously deep
in thought. Instantly, her head snapped
around so she could meet his gaze, her eyes blazing with excitement, curiosity,
and intelligence all rolled into one. He
loved that look. If he wasn’t careful,
it could do him in.
Sam’s heart jumped involuntarily as she intuitively
read the feelings so prominently displayed on Jack’s face. Momentarily powerless to control the swell of
emotion threatening to engulf her, a quick little smile escaped before her mind
managed to seize control again. Finding
it suddenly too warm in the room, she quickly looked down at her feet and
cleared her throat. “Um, I’m just amazed
at all you’re telling me. I mean, you’d
think we’d get used to this kind of stuff, but it never grows old! I can’t believe we have a chance to finally
meet another one of the ancient races!”
Her response was lost on Jack as his mind wandered
in spite of himself. ‘What do you
suppose she was thinking just then?’ Jack wondered reflexively. Forcing himself to listen as she continued,
he noted her excitement seemed to be ramping up exponentially. ‘Now, that’s the real Carter I know,’ he
observed with amusement. Before he could
bring her back down to earth though, she stood up and began gesturing with her
hands, firing questions in quick succession.
“Sir, we are going to get a chance to meet them
aren’t we? When do we leave? Where are they now?”
Jack could barely stifle his chuckle when she
stopped abruptly as if suddenly running out of air and sat back down, blushing
slightly in recognition of her over exuberance.
“Uh, I’m sorry about that, Sir. I
guess I got a little carried away,” she half muttered in embarrassment. After a second or two of thought, she looked
back up, seeking to squarely meet his gaze.
“Sir, I’d give anything to be one of the first to meet them,” she
quietly pleaded.
“Can I take it then you tentatively endorse the
project, Colonel?” he asked.
Without hesitation she blurted out sarcastically, “Ya’ think?”
This time he couldn’t contain himself and chuckled
aloud before continuing on, pretending to not even notice her playful
mocking. “And I take it you believe the
rest of SG-1 would be at least somewhat interested in such a mission?”
“Absolutely, Sir! When do we leave?” she answered
enthusiastically. Suddenly remembering
he hadn’t yet answered any of her questions, she furled her brow before cocking
her head to one side and prompting, “Sir?”
Surprised that it had taken her even this long to
remember, he flashed a small smile, cocking up an eyebrow in amusement.
“Something funny, Sir?” she asked guardedly.
Jack knew she couldn’t stand anyone laughing at
her. He took his time in answering,
letting her curiosity build a bit.
Finally, when the little game he was playing made him fear for his life,
he put her out of her misery, “Carter, once again I’m amazed at the depth of
your enthusiasm.” Pausing only a second,
he quickly collected his thoughts and continued on. “Now, as you’ve just pointed out, I haven’t
answered any of your questions. And
before I do, I have a couple more pieces of relevant data that ought to really
blow your socks off.” Watching closely,
he waited patiently for her inevitable response.
“Sir, what is it?” she begged, right on cue, having
already forgotten her annoyance over him laughing at her expense.
Grinning like a hyena, he answered back, “Well, I’m
told the Piraxan species is rather unique in that
they have no solid corporeal form; kind of a pseudo-energy kind of thing, like
ascended beings, I guess. Don’t jump to
any conclusions though. Thor says
they’re not actually ascended. By some
quirk of evolution, I guess it’s become their normal form. As far as we’re concerned, they’re a race of
shape-shifters that can take on any form they want. Also, they’re strongly telepathic with humans
and Asgards.”
He waited for this latest little tidbit to sink in. It didn’t take long at all.
“Telepathic!
Sir, we have got to get the go ahead for this mission! Other than the Nox
and a few humans mutated by the Goa’uld, we’ve never met a truly telepathic
race. Sir, if we could discover how they
do it… think of the consequences!” After
a second, she added, “And you say I can’t even talk to Daniel or Teal’c about
this?” Seeing Jack shake his head slowly
in confirmation, she fell silent while contemplating asking one final thing,
“Sir, my questions...”
“Well, let me see if I can answer them more or less
in order. We’ll meet them if it gets
approved. There’s some trepidation about
the whole thing on the part of the JCS, but I’d say chances are better than
50-50. I’ll get back to that in a
minute. Now, if we get a go, this thing
should come down in the next week or so.
I expect we’ll be gone at least a few days, possibly as long as a
week. That’s not going to be a problem
is it, Carter?” he asked, vaguely referring to the upcoming wedding.
Sam’s expression clouded momentarily as if
remembering something distasteful. Jack stored
the observation away for consideration later.
Her voice was quiet and controlled when she
answered, “No, Sir, no problem. I could
be ready to leave tomorrow. This is a
chance of a lifetime; I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Shaking his head slowly, he replied. “Good.
I thought as much.” After
thinking a second, he held up a finger as if wanting to emphasize some point,
and then continued on cheerfully. “You
know, Carter, you may even get enough new ‘thingies’ from this mission to keep
you guessing for a good long time.”
Noting the ominous glare she shot back, he added hastily, “Just kidding!
Now, let me see, what was your next question? Oh yes,” he said with emphasis, “I’m not sure
yet where we’ll be going, nor how we’ll get there. Whether it’s by ship or Stargate, I haven’t a
clue. However, I am sure the meeting
will not be on Earth. Apparently, the Piraxan are not the most trusting souls, hence the
isolationist tendencies they've exhibited over the last thousand or so
years. So, the meeting will be in a
location of their choosing, but with our and the Asgard’s
approval.
Oh yeah, the Asgard have
been requested to come along as well.
Now, moving right along, this is first and foremost an opportunity for
them to get to know us. We don’t really
know what to expect at this point.
Somehow, I doubt they’re going to rush into any kind of a diplomatic
status with us. From what I’ve heard
that may not occur for a few centuries or so, and that’s only if they really
like us. But you never know. Finally, I don’t know why they’ve been
incommunicado with the Asgard all these years, and I
certainly don’t know what we might have they could even remotely be interested
in.
Thor seemed to be extra cagey when I asked him essentially
the same questions. I got the impression
he knows a lot more, but for some reason didn’t want to give away too
much. I mean, it seems obvious to me
that we have little or nothing they might find useful outside of culture,
language, and maybe our way of thinking.
And you know how the Asgard value your dumb
ideas,” he emphasized playfully. “Maybe
they’ve told the Piraxan, and they’ll want a few of
them. You never know,” he joked again.
Effortlessly playing along with his dig, Sam responded
thoughtfully, “Hmmm, maybe I should think up a few really good ones to take
along, just in case.” Immediately
rewarded by an ear to ear grin, she continued on in a more serious tone. “Sir, you mentioned earlier you’d get back to
talking about why this whole thing isn’t wildly popular with the JCS. What’s that all about?”
Glancing down at his watch and noting it was almost
0200, he decided to cut the clowning so they could all get home. With a cringe, he remembered why Sam was
probably really itching to split.
Pushing the unpleasant thought away, he framed his reply. “Carter, the fact that they’re pretty strongly
telepathic at a considerable distance has the JCS all in a snit. They’re really afraid of compromising
planetary security if they decide to read any of our minds. Add to that the fact they won’t tell us
exactly what the purpose is for sending out our premier team or why they want
me to come along. I think you can see
why they’re real jumpy about approving this mission. But the President, General Hammond, and I
daresay ourselves, are solidly in favor, so I think there’s a good chance we’ll
eventually get a go.”
Sam considered this new information at length before
commenting. “Sir, there’s nothing we
could do to defend ourselves against a threat even more advanced than the Asgard. As one of
our staunchest allies, the Asgard have
proven themselves on numerous occasions; we don’t really have any choice but to
trust their friends to be ours as well.
This mission represents an extraordinary opportunity that’s way too
important to pass up. The security risk
not withstanding, considering the SGC mission objectives, I’d say we’ve got to
go. We could potentially gain an ally or
technology that would be everything we’ve been looking for to defend ourselves
effectively against the Goa’uld, which are a very demonstrable threat.” Feeling she’d pretty much summed up her
opinion considering the limited information at hand, she stopped abruptly and waited
patiently for Jack’s response.
When he did, it was crisp and business-like. “Yes, well, we’ll just have to wait and see
about that, I suppose. I agree with your
assessment, Carter. I’ll relay my
recommendation to that effect to George tomorrow morning. He said he’d be at a play or something with
his granddaughters tonight. It’s
definitely too late, or rather, too early, to call him now.”
Pausing just a moment, he scratched his head in
thought before continuing. “Oh yeah, I
remember now what the last item was I wanted to discuss. It’s nothing official. Just that Teal’c, Daniel, Cassie, and I are
getting together over at my place tomorrow about 1500 to throw a few steaks on
the old barbie. I was hoping you’d be able to make it. Of course, I understand if you’ve already got
plans; after all, this is kind of last minute.
If you can come, feel free to bring Pete along so we can all get to know
him a little better. Just bring a steak for
each of you and a dessert dish. We’ve
got everything else pretty well covered.”
The mention of Pete’s name reclaimed Sam’s full
attention. It was really sweet of Jack
to invite him. But she wondered if she hadn’t
detected just the slightest trace of reluctance, like maybe he really hoped she
wouldn’t bring him along. She couldn’t
really blame him, but the last thing she wanted was any kind of a confrontation
between the two of them. Although she
was pretty sure Jack would go to great lengths to avoid it, she couldn’t be so
sure about Pete. She’d have to think
that one over carefully.
He seemed to have developed a chip on his shoulder
lately, at least as far as her fraternizing with her friends was
concerned. She couldn’t really be sure
he wouldn’t cause a scene, given a few beers and half a chance. It was just one more facet of Pete’s
unfolding personality that made her increasingly uneasy. Thinking she could let the General know the
answer for sure tomorrow, she answered back, “Sir, I’d love to come, but I do
need to talk to Pete first and see what he’s got planned. Can I call you in the morning, say sometime
around 1000?”
“Sure, Carter, that’ll be fine,” he replied easily,
“only tomorrow is actually today, in case you haven’t noticed. So what ya' say we
get out of here for a few hours? Can I
walk you to the surface?” he asked with a tired sigh.
In response to his offer, she couldn’t help feeling
a small thrill run through her body.
“I’d like that, Sir,” she replied appreciatively. “Just let me run to the lab and grab my
stuff. Meet you back at the elevator on
this level in five.”
“Okay, see ya’ then, Sam,”
he replied without thinking. Only half hoping
she hadn’t noticed him using her given name, he got up
and nonchalantly started aimlessly rearranging stacks of paper on his desk as
she hurried out the door.
Passing through the outer office and into the hall,
Sam tried and failed at suppressing a wry grin of satisfaction at Jack’s
unintentional slip. He hadn’t addressed
her informally like that in months. In
spite of her head telling her otherwise, her heart seemed to think it had kind
of a nice ring to it.