Holding On
Title:
Holding On
Author: Suz W.
Spoilers: After Death Knell and Heroes (part 1 & 2)
(episode tag)
Feedback: Always welcomed!!
Old
Stories Referenced: “Consequences”
and “Soul Searching”
Rating: PG-13, S/J Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, and
Angst.
Summary: With the loss of Janet, the team looks to each other
for the solace needed to get through such a tragic time.
Disclaimer: All publicity recognizable characters and places are
the property of MGM, Sci-Fi Productions, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret
Productions. This piece of fan fiction
was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on
copyrights or trademarks was intended.
Copyright: The original characters, situations, and story are
the property of the author. Copyrighted
on September 16, 2007, by Suzanne R. Whitmarsh.
Author’s
Notes: This story follows “Into
a Darkening Abyss”. I know my series has taken a very unhappy turn
right now, but hang in there…I promise you’ll see that light at the end of
the tunnel soon, and everything will make sense. Thanks to the writers of the show, we have to
get through Pete. But if you keep your
faith in me, I won’t let you down. And
please remember, now more than ever, I need your feedback! Let me know your thoughts, good or bad; just
hearing from you really helps! Take
care and thanks for all your support!
Dedication: I’d like to dedicate this
story to Shelby W. Hope all is going
well for you, my friend, and that life is treating you well! Thanks for your support of my stories and for
being a great inspiration!
The early afternoon air was heavy
with moisture as the sun made its slow trek across a brilliant blue sky. Yet despite the humidity that saturated the
last day in June, Sam crossed her arms over her chest, fighting back a chill
that seemed to be running endlessly over her skin. A light breezed ruffled the hair framing her
face, and she used the hand closest to it to push the stray hairs behind her
ear. The dress blues she wore seemed to
be getting tighter by the minute, and she wanted to do nothing more than
run…run away from everything and everyone before her, longing for the comforts
of home and the bed that could swallow her up in the overstuffed comforter that
decorated it.
But she couldn’t run, nor would she
be able to hide from anyone for at least another few hours. Instead, she stood behind Cassie, who was sitting
in front of her between her grandparents, and stared with a grieving heart at
the mahogany casket before them…Janet’s casket.
It didn’t seem possible, even now, days after she had been killed by a
staff blast from a battling Jaffa. She’d
just been doing her job, as they all had been; only the exceptional difference
was that the rest of them had made it back alive.
The priest that was leading the
graveside service had been talking for the last ten minutes, but Sam had found
it hard to concentrate on any of his words, let alone take comfort from them. Beside her stood her team…Jack on one side,
Teal’c and Daniel on the other. And
surrounding them were other members of the SGC, including General Hammond. After the memorial service that had been held
in the Gate room, those that could leave the base had come here to say a final
farewell to the woman who had not only physically mended so many of their
lives, but had saved most of them as well.
The emotions that were flowing
through her heart and mind right now were so compound she found it hard to
breathe, and with sorrow and heartache on the forefront, she found her cheeks
constantly being moistened by silent tears that escaped her eyes every few
minutes as the service progressed. Every
once in a while, she could feel Jack’s eyes discretely glance her way, eyes she
caught one time with hers and held briefly, wanting nothing more than to fall
into his arms and seek shelter there in order to hide from the pain that was
tearing her heart apart.
But then he’d look away, and a cold,
unsettling feeling would come over her.
She’d then suddenly remember Pete, and the fact that she had no right
anymore to expect anything from Jack but professional respect. Returning her focus to the service, she
realized that the priest had reached the end of his sermon, and now in silence
they watched as two airmen carefully took the flag that was draped over Janet’s
coffin and began to fold it in a way that only training could have made
possible. And then she watched with
tear-filled eyes as General Hammond moved forward, took the flag in his hands,
and then with dignity and utter control, came to stand in front of Janet’s
mother.
Placing it gently into the hands on
her lap, he straightened his form, and looking directly at her, gave her an
honorary salute. Then the crystal clear
melodic notes of a single trumpet began to carry over the air, playing out the
all too familiar “Taps”, the song that military funerals knew so well. As Sam stood there, staring at the dark hole
that would soon envelope Janet’s casket forever, she jumped as the gun salute
began, echoing off the mountains surrounding them. Closing her eyes against another wave of
tears, she felt Jack’s fingers brush hers, clasping them for the briefest of moments
before letting go. Opening her eyes, she
looked over at him and offered him a sad smile of thanks, to which he responded
to in kind before looking away again.
With his sunglasses on, Sam was
unable to read the expression in his eyes.
But if she could have, she had a feeling she would see a look of hurt
and loss in his eyes…two emotions that weren’t singling out just Janet and her
passing. Sighing quietly, she returned
her mind to the funeral before them, holding herself straight against the final
gunshots echoing through the air. And
then all was quiet, and only the gentle stirring of the leaves on the trees
against a quiet breath of wind filled their ears, making the deafening silence
all that more ominous.
With a few more comforting words,
the priest closed the funeral, and after another quiet moment, people began to
back away from the place where Janet was to be buried, returning to their cars
and the reality of their lives. Cassie
and her grandparents gradually stood, taking in one more final look at the
casket before moving off towards the limousine that awaited them. Turning around, Cassie looked back at Sam,
who still stood with the rest of her team, and held out her hand.
Sam gave her a soft smile and a nod,
but held up a finger, indicating to Cassie that she needed a moment. Turning to Jack while trying to keep Teal’c
and Daniel in her sight as well, she cleared her throat and spoke up
quietly. “Um, there’s going to be a
gathering of family and friends back at Janet’s house. We’re headed there now…I’m sure Cassie would
like to see you there. I rode with
Cassie and her grandparents in the limo from the house. If any of you would like a ride there, we’ve
got plenty of room.”
Jack took a moment to think about
what she’d just said before answering.
“We’ll be there, Carter, but I’ve got my truck, so we’ll just meet you
there.”
His response was so cold and guarded
that Sam could see it even took Teal’c and Daniel by surprise. After another moment of almost awkward
silence, Daniel gave her a small nod.
“I’ll tag along with you, Sam. I
came with Jack and Teal’c, so I don’t have to worry about leaving a vehicle
behind.” Daniel gave Jack a sideways
glance as he brushed past him and joined Sam.
“Ready to go?”
Sam studied Jack for another moment
and then nodded. “Yeah, let’s go. We’ll see you guys there.” Turning around, they moved off to where
Cassie patiently waited. After reaching
them, Cassie took a hand from each of them and then began moving off in the
direction of the limo, where her grandparents were now waiting outside of.
Teal’c stood quietly and watched as
the trio made their way to the waiting car, and then looked back at Jack. He remained like a statue, unmoving from the
place where he’d stood during the funeral.
He just stared at the coffin before them, his eyes shielded from sight
by the dark glasses he wore on his chiseled face. Teal’c respected the privacy of an
individual’s thoughts, and it was obvious to him that O’Neill was having such a
moment.
But after five more minutes passed,
and the last car had pulled away, Teal’c began to wonder if he should say
something to his friend. Moving forward,
he stood within Jack’s peripheral viewpoint and waited…and it was that movement
that triggered realization within Jack that he was still breathing.
Sighing heavily, he let his head
drop slightly. “Frasier said something
to me the other day that I’ll always remember.”
Looking over at Teal’c for a brief moment of eye contact, he could see
that it was up to him to continue. “It
was a quote, actually, and one of the last things she ever said to me.”
Teal’c’s deep voice echoed out with
surprising quiet. “Of what quote do you
speak, O’Neill?”
Jack furrowed his brow slightly and then began to speak in soft tones, as
if not wanting to wake the dead. “Arthur was only a man. But he believed, as I believe, that men can
work miracles themselves, if they only believe they can. If you want badly enough to find what you
have dreamed of, then search for it. You
will find it…perhaps in the last place you expect.” Clearing his throat, he blinked and
looked over at Teal’c, giving him a short smile. “It was a quote from a book she had been
reading…or had finished reading. Either
way, I guess it doesn’t matter now.”
Teal’c gave him a moment before
speaking. And in that moment, he
considered what he was about to say, and if it was the right time to reveal
what he knew. But looking at his friend’s
drawn face, he saw a man lost in his own pain…and he knew what he had to
do. “The quote was meant to give you
hope that one day you’ll win Major Carter’s love back, was it not?”
It took Jack a moment to comprehend
what Teal’c had just said, but when he fully understood it, he looked over at
his friend with complete shock in his eyes.
“You know?!”
Teal’c gave a slight bow of his
head. “Indeed.”
Jack was astonished and dumbfound in
one single moment. “How? When?
You never said anything...”
Teal’c turned and fully faced Jack,
placing a firm but gently hand on his shoulder.
“It would have been a disservice to both you and Major Carter if I had
said something…therefore I chose to say nothing at all.”
Jack took his sunglasses off and
looked directly into Teal’c’s eyes. “So
what made you change your mind now?”
Teal’c dropped his hand from Jack’s
shoulder and drew both hands behind his back.
“I honor you as a friend, O’Neill, and it would be a dishonor not to
help you now, especially when it is obvious that you have no one to turn to.”
Jack sat down in one of the chairs,
overcome by emotion and stunned by the silent support he never knew that he and
Sam had had. But as he continued to
think about what Teal’c had just told him, all the times he and Sam had managed
to find time alone together in potentially public situations…most of them had
involved Teal’c and coincidences that he now knew to be not about luck, but
about an incredible friend and his protection of a secret that meant more to
him than he could find words to express.
Looking up, he repeated the initial
question to him. “How did you find out?”
Teal’c tilted his head to the side. “It was by a mere chance that I observed both
you and Major Carter while you were being pulled in a carriage for everyone to
see…yet you did not seem to notice the world or those around you.”
It took Jack a moment to realize
what situation Teal’c was referring to.
“You mean Kansas City…that stop we made there for Daniel so he could
attend that nerd convention?!”
Teal’c gave him a brief smile. “Indeed.”
Jack couldn’t believe it. “All this time…and you’ve never said
anything…and you never judged us for what we were doing.”
Teal’c relaxed his stance a bit,
keeping his voice soft and sincere.
“What you were doing was loving one another…and I see no fault in that. Do not forget, O’Neill, I may be apart of SG1,
but I am not directed by the rules of your military, especially ones that tell you
who you may or may not love.”
For a moment, Jack couldn’t find any
words to say. Teal’c had never judged
them, never questioned if it had been right for the two of them to be involved
while on the same team…and yet he had never confronted them on it either,
keeping what he knew to himself as only a true friend could do. Standing up, Jack placed his hands on
Teal’c’s broad shoulders and gave them a light squeeze. “Thank you, my friend. You’re support of us, or rather of what we
had, means more to me than I can say to you.”
Teal’c watched Jack for a moment,
noticing the tired and drawn circles under his eyes that had been so well
hidden by the sunglasses he’d been wearing.
“What has happened between you and Major Carter to speak of such
feelings in a past tense?”
Jack wasn’t sure how to answer that
question, so he started with the obvious.
“I’m assuming you’ve heard about Pete?”
Teal’c nodded. “I have heard the name in passing, but do not
know the significance of it.”
“Well, I guess you could say he happened between us.” Jack sighed heavily and then briefed Teal’c
with the shortest and least painful version of the story he could come up
with. And throughout the telling of what
had been going on, Teal’c simply listened, never interrupting, not even when
Jack went off on an occasional tangent regarding Pete and his disruption in
their lives.
When Jack finally did finish, Teal’c
thought carefully on his response before speaking. “I am truly sorry, O’Neill. It is unclear why Major Carter has chosen
such a path, but I do not believe it is because of Senator Kinsey.”
Jack looked up at him. “I want to believe that, mainly because it
would make more sense. Carter’s not one
to just pick up her skirts and run from a challenge…and certainly not when
Kinsey’s the reason. But then if that’s
really not the reason, what did I do to drive her away? I’m almost more afraid of facing that answer
than I am dealing with Kinsey and his nonsense.”
Teal’c responded after a moment of
thought. “Perhaps it has nothing to do
with you, O’Neill…perhaps it is something we are not seeing.”
Jack furrowed his brow. “Like what…blackmail?”
Teal’c shook his head. “I do not know, but I believe you must try
and find out.” Seeing the distress on
Jack’s face as he ran his hands through his hair, Teal’c continued. “I do believe what Dr. Frasier said to you
was very wise indeed. Believe in
yourself, O’Neill, and in your love for her, letting your heart do the
rest. Perhaps then you will find the
answers you seek in the least likely place you’d ever expect to find them.”
Jack stared once more at Janet’s
coffin and then turned and nodded. “I
hope you’re right, Teal’c, otherwise…well, let’s not dwell on that today, shall
we? I think we’ve had enough depression
for one day.” Blowing out a shaky
breath, he went on as he nodded in the direction of his truck, which now sat by
itself on the small road that ran throughout the cemetery. “I guess we’d better get going to that
reception before they send a search and rescue team after us.”
Teal’c nodded in agreement. “It will be difficult for you, but remember I
will be with you…for as long as I am able.”
Jack patted him lightly on the
back. “You’ve got a great heart, T, and
an even better soul, and I certainly don’t deserve the loyalty you’re giving
me.”
Teal’c simply gave Jack a light
smile and a low bow of his head. “You
saved me from a fate worse than death all those years ago…it is the least I can
do to be a friend to you.”
Nodding, Jack turned and looked back
at Janet’s casket. Moving over to it, he
placed a hand on top of it. “Don’t
worry, Doc, I’ll find a way to fix this.
And thanks…I’ll never forget what you said to me. Rest well, my friend.”
Turning back to Teal’c, he put his sunglasses
back on, adjusted his hat, and nodded.
“Shall we?” And seeing that
Teal’c was ready, they made their way slowly back to Jack’s truck, leaving
Janet behind to her eternal rest as they set out together in hopes of finding a
way to put Jack’s life back together, and search out the answers that eluded
both of them. With Teal’c’s sudden
support, Jack began to feel that it might be possible to guide Sam back home
into his arms once more, never to be separated again.
Sam was conversing quietly with
Janet’s parents when she turned her head and noticed Jack and Teal’c finally
coming through the front door. They had already
been gathered at Janet’s house for almost 30 minutes, so she was greatly
relieved to see them finally show up. As
they had been leaving the cemetery, Sam could see Jack just standing next to
Janet’s casket, unmoving and looking lost, as if he was unsure of what to do
next or where to go. She had wanted to
tell the driver to pull over so she could make her way back up to him, but with
Cassie gripping her hand so tightly, she knew that she couldn’t leave her. Her only comfort had been that Teal’c was
standing nearby, and she knew he wouldn’t leave him.
Looking at him now as he slowly made
his way through the dispersed crowd, Sam could see that some light had returned
to his face, and he appeared a little more alive than he had at the
funeral. Breathing a quick sigh of
relief, she directed her attention back to Janet’s parents, who had been going
over memories of when Janet was a young girl.
They had been kind enough to include her in their conversation, though
she knew their comments were directed more at each other than her
personally.
After a few more minutes, Jack and
Teal’c finally joined her. With his
military hat tucked neatly underneath his right arm, he nodded at Janet’s
parents and spoke up. “Mr. and Mrs.
Frasier…I just wanted to once again express my deep sympathies at the loss of
your daughter. Janet was a great asset
to our base and our team, and she will be truly missed…as a doctor who saved my
hide a few times, and of course as a friend.”
Mrs. Frasier gave him the best smile
she could as she dabbed at the corner of her left eye where a fresh tear
threatened to escape. “Thank you,
Colonel O’Neill. I know she thought
highly of you and those she worked with.
It’s obvious that she had found a real sense of family from the very
beginning of her job at your base. We
can take comfort in knowing that she died doing what she loved…helping those in
need.” Obviously trying to keep herself
composed, she let her eyes wander around the room until they stopped, observing
the front room. After a minute, she
turned back to her husband, addressing him directly. “Henry, I think that’s the Forrester’s.”
Mr. Frasier, who was a tall and
lanky man, and concealed his age well, nodded.
“That appears to be them.”
Mrs. Frasier directed her attention
back to Sam, Jack, and Teal’c. “If
you’ll excuse us, there are some people who have come from quite a distance
that we must say hello to. Sam, we’ll
talk later?”
Sam nodded and gave her a soft
smile. “Sounds good, Martha.”
The three of them watched in silence
as the Frasier’s slowly receded into the gathering crowd, making their way over
to the couple that they recognized.
After a moment, Jack turned his body and looked at Sam. “You doing okay?”
Sam, surprised by his concern, tried
to give him a smile. “I’m making
it. I’ll just be glad for this day to
end.”
Jack nodded in agreement and glanced
over at Teal’c, who was carefully watching both of them without being too
obvious. Clearing his throat, he went on. “So where’s Cassie? How’s she handling things?”
Sam sighed. “She’s still in denial I think. She managed to hold up well for the funeral
as you saw, but once we got in the limo, she became really quiet and said
nothing on the way back here. Once
inside, she headed straight for her room, only to emerge 10 minutes later in a
casual shorts outfit and declared that she was going to a friend’s house for
the rest of the evening. No one
questioned her or even tried to stop her.”
Sam took a breath before continuing.
“She’s going through a lot right now, and I think that the best thing we
can do is just support her and let her try to work through this on her own.”
Teal’c spoke up in Jack’s
stead. “She is a strong young
woman. I believe she will recover from
this.”
Sam nodded. “I know, but I feel like I could be doing
more for her.”
Jack responded. “Where is she going to be staying at now that
Janet’s gone? Here?”
Sam answered him with a small smile,
relieved to see that he was actually carrying a conversation with her. “Her grandparents are going to temporarily
move in here and look after her while she finishes her last year in high school
that starts back up in August. It’s also
going to give them a chance to settle things up with Janet’s estate and decide
what to do with the house. Cassie asked
if she could stay with me some of the time, and Henry and Martha were fine with
that. It will allow them a little more
freedom than they had first anticipated.
I guess they like to travel a lot and had already planned a few trips
before…this happened.”
Jack looked a little confused. “How is that going to work with our
missions? We can’t always schedule them
to our liking, as you well know.”
Sam was prepared for that
answer. “The Frasier’s are aware that my
schedule is a little unpredictable and quite busy. We’re going to arrange for a backup place for
her to stay in case I can’t get away.”
Jack wasn’t sure how he felt about
this new arrangement. On one hand, it
hopefully would reduce the amount of time that Sam had with Pete, but that also
meant less opportunity for him to spend time with her, except on missions. Of course, everything was dependent on Cassie
and how much she actually needed Sam.
After another moment of thought, Jack nodded. “Sounds like you have it all worked out.” Trying to change subjects before his mind
started stirring up possibilities that might not even happen, Jack looked
around the room. “So where’s Daniel? I thought he’d be here. Didn’t he come back to the house with you?”
Sam nodded. “He did, but personally I don’t think he’s
handling Janet’s death as well as he’s trying to let on.” Looking towards the sliding glass doors that
led to the backyard, she continued.
“He’s been out there from basically right after we arrived. I’ve been trying to think of the right thing
to say to him…but I’m just not sure where to start.” Feeling her emotions suddenly getting the
better of her, she paused for a moment to try and contain them.
Jack, sensing that she was in need
of someone to take over the conversation, stepped in. “Well, I’m in need of some air. How ‘bout you guys?”
Teal’c gave him a small knowing smile
as he nodded in agreement. Looking over
at Sam, he was happy to see the same reaction come from her. “Okay then…let’s see if maybe with a team effort
we can figure out something together to say.”
Knowing the power of a team, the
three of them headed off towards the sliding glass doors that would take them
outside into the waning day, giving them the opportunity to escape the reminder
that death had only recently touched them.
Reaching the door first, Jack opened it and stepped to the side,
allowing Sam and Teal’c to go first.
Following them, he joined them at the railing of the deck. Looking out over it, he spotted Daniel
sitting on a flat-faced rock that was jutting out at the edge of Janet’s
property line. Partially turned from
them, it was hard to ascertain exactly how he was feeling, but it was obvious
he was lost.
Moving off the deck as a group, they
slowly approached Daniel. When they were
almost to him, they came to a stop, keeping a little bit of a distance so he
wouldn’t feel completely trapped by all three of them confronting him. Jack was the first to speak up. “Hey, Daniel.
How’s it going?”
Daniel looked up at the sound of Jack’s
voice and finally registered their presence.
His face was that of a man lost in a world that he had hoped never to
see again. With paled skin and eyes that
weren’t really seeing them, it was obvious he was in pain. Though they all knew his heartache over
losing Sha’re had been greater, leaving a permanent scar, Janet’s death had to
have reopened part of that wound and part of that pain.
Blinking several times, Daniel
finally opened his mouth to speak. “Hey
guys. What’s going on?” His voice, cracking several times, made it
obvious he was trying to brush off their concern.
Sam moved in closer to him and
squatted down to his eye level. “Daniel,
we all know you’ve got to be hurting over losing Janet…just when the two of you
had found each other again.” With her
voice breaking, she swallowed hard and tried to regain her composure.
But it was Teal’c who picked up
where she’d left off. “We want you to
know that we are here for you, Daniel Jackson, and will help you anyway we
can.”
With a weak smile from Daniel, he
answered them. “Thanks you guys. I just guess I didn’t realize until today
just how final it was. We’ve always managed
to cheat death, myself included, and I guess when I saw her casket…I guess I
finally realized that there is no second chance for her.” Taking off his glasses, he squeezed the
bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger, keeping his eyes tightly
shut in hopes of containing the tears.
Sam placed her hand on his arm and
gave it a gentle squeeze. “We all feel
her loss, Daniel. So don’t think you’re
alone in your heartache. Even though you
and Janet shared something different than the rest of us, the pain is still
real for all of us. It’s okay to show
those emotions…we’re all going to have to learn how to live life without
her.” This time Sam wasn’t as successful
at containing her own tears as several began escaping down her cheeks.
Daniel sharply nodded his head and
after a moment of holding his breath, let out a puff of air that also expelled
his pent up feelings. With his body
shaking and his eyes wet, he began to allow himself to express the grief he’d
been trying so hard to conceal…for Cassie’s sake, for Sam’s sake, and also for
himself.
Carefully sitting on part of the
rock that was unoccupied, Sam wrapped her arms around Daniel, and after a
moment, they had each other in a tightly gripped embrace, shedding tears
together for the woman they had both loved so much. Teal’c and Jack stood nearby with their heads
bowed and their eyes averted, allowing Daniel and Sam as much of a private
moment as possible. Though their hearts
were aching, Jack and Teal’c both knew that Daniel and Sam felt Janet’s loss on
a much deeper level, one that they couldn’t touch.
After a few minutes had passed by,
Sam and Daniel’s tears subsided and all that was left was the quiet echoing of
their sniffles. Jack wanted nothing more
than to pull Sam into his arms and take away some of the pain she was feeling,
but then he had to quickly remind himself that it wasn’t his job anymore. With a pang in his heart, he cleared his
throat quietly, hoping to subtly remind Daniel and Sam that he and Teal’c were
still there.
Daniel looked up as he broke his
embrace with Sam and wiped at his cheeks with the back of his hand. “Sorry, Jack, Teal’c…I guess we should get
back to the reception.” As he stood up
with Sam, who was also trying to wipe at her tears and smooth her appearance,
Jack held up a hand.
“There’s no need to apologize,
Daniel. None of us are going to judge
you, and you certainly have the right to show your feelings. Frankly, I’d be more worried if you
didn’t.” Pausing just briefly, he went
on. “Now, I don’t know about the rest of
you, but I really am not looking forward to going back in there…it’s just too
damn depressing.”
Sam had to stifle a small
giggle. Smiling softly at him, she
responded. “What did you have in mind
then, Sir?”
Jack looked over at Teal’c and then
shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know…how about we
go shoot some pool, have a few beers, and celebrate Janet’s life by going over
all the times she managed to save my sorry butt.”
It was Daniel who smiled first. Nodding, he took a steadying breath. “I’m game.”
Sam studied Jack for a moment as a
smile renewed on her face. It was in
times like these that Jack O’Neill always managed to pull at her heartstrings
the most…his complete, unselfish caring for those he knew. And it seemed to her that he also always
managed to find the humor out of every bad situation, breaking the tension and
giving each of them another chance to smile.
When Jack caught her eyes, she held
his for a moment and then nodded. “It
sounds like a great idea.” To her own
ears, her voice sounded pathetically unconvincing, but considering she had just
finished another round of tears, not much else could be expected.
Teal’c then spoke up, his deep voice
unphased by the present situation. “I do
not have much knowledge of this ‘shooting pool’ that you speak of, but I would
like a chance to learn it.”
Jack placed a firm hand on Teal’c
shoulder and nodded. “Pool it is
then.” Looking over at Sam, he went
on. “Do you think the Frasier’s will
mind if we cut out early?”
Sam shook her. “They’ve got so much company right now that
I’m sure they wouldn’t mind a few less people to entertain. If you’d like, I’ll go make our excuses and
meet you out front.”
Jack thought that was a great
idea. He didn’t want to get sucked back
into the reception by seeing a whole bunch of people that he felt obligated to
talk to. Looking over at both Teal’c and
Daniel, he could see they both felt the same way. “Sounds like a plan, Carter.”
Sam nodded and moved off towards the
house. She knew that Janet’s parents
truly wouldn’t care. If anything, they
would welcome a few less reminders of how and why Janet’s death happened to
someone so young. And if she was honest
with herself, she was looking forward to relaxing with Jack, Daniel, and
Teal’c…together as a team they shared a bond that only they understood, and
with everything that was going on in her life at that moment, from the very sad
to the very confusing, a night of pool, a few drinks, and some good-hearted
laughter was exactly what she needed.
But even deeper inside of her soul,
she was secretly looking forward to getting to spend any time with Jack, even
if it would be shared with Daniel and Teal’c.
Like a balm for her aching spirit, Jack’s eyes and sexy half smile was
just what Janet would have ordered.
Three hours later, the four of them
sat lazily around a back corner table of a local bar and grill. Their outing had been just what they’d
needed: moments of reflection on Janet and who she’d been to each of them,
laughter over the defiance they’d all showed her from time to time, discreet
tears shed for the friend lost to each of them, and smiles that connected them
together as teammates and friends over personal memories of times shared
together with her.
In the relaxed atmosphere of the
bar, away from the formal reception that had followed the funeral, away from
fellow airmen who carefully watched the number one team for their reaction to a
tragedy so close to their hearts, and away from expectations and
responsibilities, Sam, Jack, Teal’c, and Daniel could be themselves. And considering how well the last few hours
had gone for them, it had obviously been time well spent.
After having finished a meal
consisting of hamburgers, fries, and beers, the four of them had not only been
enjoying casual conversation with each other, but Teal’c had played several
rounds of pool, picking up on the game quickly, and efficiently beat both Jack
and Daniel after only two rounds of it.
Jack, who had seemed quite at odds with himself for letting Teal’c beat
him so easily, glanced over at one of the pool tables that had just become
available again. Looking over at Teal’c,
he nodded with his head. “So, T, you up
for another game? I think I let you win
a little too easily last time. It’s time
you had more of a challenge.”
Teal’c raised an eyebrow in Jack’s
direction, giving him a curt smile.
“Indeed.”
Jack stood up. “Great!
Hey, either of you guys want in on the game?” Jack looked over at Daniel and then his eyes
found Sam’s and held them for a moment.
He had been doing his best all night to keep things incredibly casual
between them, but it had been incredibly hard to even look at her without
wanting to just pull her into his arms and kiss her deeply. Even knowing Pete was now in her life, he
knew he would never get over her, or the feelings she invoked inside of his
soul.
Sam gave him a gentle smile. “I think I’m going to pass on this one. Thanks, though.”
Daniel responded directly after
her. “You two are on your own. I emptied my wallet with that last game.”
Jack just shrugged. “Suit yourself…come on, Teal’c. Let me show you just how easily I let you win
last time.” As Jack headed off for the
pool table, Teal’c turned around and glanced at Daniel and Sam, who were both
trying to hold back from smiling too much over Jack’s confidence. Giving them a slight bow of his head, he
turned and followed on Jack’s heels, battling with his own thoughts on if he
was feeling generous enough to let O’Neill win.
After they had gone, Sam sat back in
her chair and took in their surrounding atmosphere. The restaurant was sparsely populated, with
most costumers having already left as the night grew deeper. There was a light haze that encircled the
lights from the occasional smoker that decided to light up a cigarette, and one
of the local rock stations was being pumped out of speakers located in various
ceiling panels across the room. Eyeing
her beer bottle, she reached for it, took a drink, and then closed her eyes,
focusing on the liquid as it ran down her throat, cold and frothy.
Daniel’s voice penetrated her
ears. “So…how are you holding
up…really?”
Sam opened her eyes and met Daniel’s
very concerned expression. Giving him a
sad smile, she shook her head slowly as she put the beer bottle back on the
table and rested one elbow on its edge, propping her head in her hand as she
looked at him. “It’s been hard…I suppose
I haven’t really given it time to truly sink in that she’s gone. With Cassie constantly needing me and with
everything else…” Sam stopped herself,
suddenly realizing that she’d said too much.
Jack and her problems with him were not up for discussion, especially
since Daniel had never known about them in the first place.
Daniel watched her with
curiosity. “What else has been going
on?”
Sam quickly brushed off his
question. “Oh, I just meant my
relationship with Pete…its taking some time to get use to the new direction my
life seems to be going.”
Daniel studied her for a moment
before saying anything. “Yeah, I guess
those long distance relationships can require some work.”
Sam could hear in the tone of his
voice that he wasn’t fully buying the excuse she was giving him, so she decided
to quickly change the course of the conversation onto him. “I really should be asking about how you’re
doing with all of this. After all, you
and Janet had just found your way back to each other.”
Daniel nodded, studying one of the
spoons on the table, but not really seeing it.
“I miss her…more than I think I even knew I would.” Sighing heavily, he sat back and ran a hand
through his hair. “Things had been going
great. We promised each other that we
were going to take it slowly, but despite our efforts, I knew that my feelings
ran deeper than even I realized. I think
she felt the same way too. I actually
had planned on talking to her about that subject, but then that whole thing
with Sara happened…I guess you could say I unwilling put up a wall between us.”
Sam frowned slightly. “What happened with Sara wasn’t your fault,
Daniel. She was under Osiris’
control…Janet surely understood that.”
Daniel nodded. “I think she did, but it still created a
barrier between us and delayed any progress in our relationship.” He suddenly let out a small bit of
laughter. “The ironic thing is that we had
planned a date for the day she died. I
was going to tell her how I felt…that there was nothing left for Sara and I…I
guess I’ll never get that chance now.
Fate certainly has a cruel way sometimes of showing us when we aren’t
meant for certain people.”
Sam had to choke back a wave of
emotion that suddenly invaded her throat like rising bile. Glancing over at Jack, she watched him for a
moment as he made his next shot, only to miss his intended target. Looking back at Daniel, she suddenly found
herself wishing she could share her own troubles about Jack with him, but then
she knew it would do no good. What was
happening between her and Jack was of her own doing, and nothing could change that.
Sam blinked hard and cleared her
throat. When she spoke, she kept her
voice soft to conceal any cracks that might give away her less than stable
state. “Did you love her?”
It was now Daniel’s turn to give her
a sad smile. “I’m pretty sure I
did…although I never got to tell her.”
Sam placed one of her hands over one
of his. “I’m so sorry, Daniel.”
Daniel shrugged briefly. “I guess I’m just not supposed to love
anyone. Every time I do, they’re taken
away from me.”
Sam squeezed his hand. “Life isn’t always fair, and love isn’t
either.”
“Amen to that.” Jack’s voice suddenly filled the air between
them.
Sam inhaled a little too sharply and
closed her eyes briefly in order to control her emotions. When she opened them again, Daniel was giving
her a concerned look. Giving him a
quick, hopefully reassuring smile, she squeezed his hand briefly before letting
it go and then gathered her courage and looked up at Jack, who was now standing
beside her.
Jack’s eyes met hers and held them
for a moment before clearing his throat and speaking up as he looked in
Daniel’s direction. “You holding up
okay, Daniel?”
Daniel nodded. “I’ll be okay, Jack. I’m just suddenly really tired. I think I just need to go home and get some
rest. If you aren’t ready to go, I can
take a taxi.”
Jack held up his hand. “There’s no need to do that. I’ll get you back to the base…even if Teal’c isn’t
ready to put his winning streak to bed for one night, I can come back and get
him.”
Sam spoke up. “I can always take him back too, Sir. Since I drove my car as well, it would give
Teal’c a little more time to play.”
Jack studied her for a moment before
responding. “Well, for one, Samantha, it’s Jack for the 20th
time since we’re not anywhere remotely close to the base, and two, that would
be fine, but I think we’re all going to call it a night. Besides, isn’t Pete expecting you?” This last question left a bitter taste on his
tongue, but he had to ask, especially since she hadn’t brought him up all night
and he was remotely curious why.
Sam felt as if he’d slapped her
lightly across the face. She shook her
head and did her best to respond in a nonchalant tone. “Actually, Jack, he’s still working on finishing a case in Denver. He wanted to be here for me, but they were at
a critical point in the investigation and he couldn’t get away. I’m not expecting him for at least another
few days.”
Jack could feel his forehead rise
slightly. “Oh? Well, I’m sorry to hear that.” He knew that his tone sounded anything but
sorry, but he didn’t care. Teal’c, who
had just thankfully rejoined them, came and stood next to Jack, a quiet statue
of strength that was now Jack’s only sounding board.
Jack looked over at Teal’c and
indicated with his head. “You ready to
go, buddy? I think our morning birds
have worn out for the evening.”
“I am, O’Neill. It has been a very exciting evening, and I
thank you for teaching me the game of pool, but it will do me good to get some
rest.”
Jack’s thoughts fell back to Janet’s
funeral and he let out a heavy sigh, nodding his head. “I think we all could.”
Leaving money for their tab, the
four of them headed out into the warm night, breathing in the air that was
windstill and full of moisture. Without
any rain, the humidity had yet to let up, and they each felt weighed down as
they walked to their cars. Daniel and
Teal’c had ridden with Jack over to the bar and grill, so Jack was planning on
dropping them both off by the base on his way home. Sam, who had parked a few spots away from his
truck, wished them each a goodnight and headed to her car, unlocking it and
climbing in. As she shut the door, she
starred out of her window at Jack, watching as he unlocked the truck. So many emotions were running through her
head and heart, and it seemed that every time she was with him that confusion
only ran deeper.
Trying to clear her head, she shut
her eyes tightly for a moment, took a deep breath, and then opened them,
inserting her car key into the ignition.
Turning it, she cranked the engine, but surprising, it didn’t start
up. Instead it turned over and over,
grinding its gears as it attempted a full start, but after a full minute of
cranking, Sam turned off the car and rested her head back against the head
rest, closing her eyes once more. This
was not the way she was wanting to end a very emotional day, but apparently it
was what fate had in store for her.
Blowing out a pent-up breath of air, she reached for the release lever of
the hood of her car and pulled it, hearing the firm click as she did. Opening her car door, she moved around to the
front of her vehicle and moved her fingers under the rim of her hood, feeling
for the lever that she had to push down in order to release the hood the rest
of the way. Finding it, she pushed open
the hood and propped it open.
Bending over the engine, she
attempted to look for any loose connections to the engine, but in the process
of doing so, failed to hear Jack’s truck pull up. She was reaching in to check one of the plugs
when his sudden voice startled her, making her jump, hitting her head on the
top of the hood.
“Need some help?” Jack winced as he watched her jump at the
sound of his voice, never intending for her to hit her head. “Aahh…sorry.
You okay?”
Holding the top of her head, she
looked over at him and gave him a gentle smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I thought you
guys had already left.”
Jack placed a hand on the side of
her car. “We were about to pull out when
I saw you getting out of your car. I
figured something wasn’t quite right.”
Looking in at the engine, he continued.
“So, is mechanic on your resume as well?”
Sam gave him a light laugh. “No, there are actually some things I’m not
as proficient at. Fixing cars has never
been a forte of mine.”
Jack gave her a half smile. “Well, I’m not ashamed to admit my skills
don’t extend beyond changing a tire, and even that at times can be shaky.” Looking briefly back at his truck, he went
on. “And I seriously doubt either of
those two will be of much help.”
Bringing his eyes back to her face, he looked at her for a moment and
then made his suggestion. “So why don’t
you just leave your car here for the night.
I’ll run Daniel and Teal’c past the base and then drop you off past your
house on my way home. You don’t need to
deal with this tonight…you can call a towing company tomorrow probably a lot
easier than you can tonight.”
Sam, feeling the weariness settling
into her bones, didn’t have the strength or will power to argue. “That would be great…thanks.” Giving him a quick smile, she shut the hood
of her car and then moved around him to retrieve her purse and keys from the
inside, locking it as she shut the door.
Walking to his truck together, Jack
opened up the back passenger door for her and helped her climb into the back
with Teal’c. After getting in behind the
wheel, Jack pulled out of the parking lot and headed in the direction of the
base, secretly hoping that he wasn’t making a mistake by taking her home. If Pete for some reason was to be there,
perhaps as a surprise, Jack wasn’t sure how he would be able to let her out of
his truck, let alone drive away, leaving her to seek out comfort in his arms. But his chivalry had gotten the better of his
conscious, and so he found himself driving her home, rather to a man who had
bested him, or to an empty house where he was no longer welcomed as anything
more than a friend.
Twenty minutes later, Jack pulled up
into Sam’s driveway and put the truck into park. Sam had gotten into the front seat after it
had been vacated by Daniel at the base, and the two of them had barely spoken
any words on the short drive to her house.
Now as they sat there in the dark, Sam took a shaky breath as she looked
at the dark and empty house before her.
It seemed to mimic what she was feeling in her soul, and it frightened
her.
Sam dug out the keys from her purse
and sat there for a moment before saying anything. “Thank you, Jack, for taking me home. I really didn’t feel up to waiting for a tow
truck.”
Jack looked over at her. Studying her profile in the darkened cab of
the truck made it hard to define her facial expression, but her voice sounded
tired and emotionally drawn. Aside from
their own personal problems with each other, he knew that losing Janet had been
extremely hard on Sam. She had been her
bestfriend, and had been someone who’d been there for not only Sam but also
Jack…especially when they had discovered she was pregnant and then subsequently
lost the baby after the entity had taken possession of Sam’s body.
Jack took in a breath and let it out
slowly and quietly. “Sam, you know I’ll
do anything for you…all you ever have to do is ask. We may not be together anymore, but I’ll
always be here for you.” The last
sentence felt extremely raw in Jack’s throat, almost to the point of bringing
pain, and he had to swallow hard to keep his emotions in check.
Sam could hear the pain in his
voice, and so she hesitated before speaking up, unsure if she even had the
right to ask him the next question. But
closing off the doubt in her mind, she plunged forward, not allowing anymore
thought to come into her head. “Jack,”
she said in a quiet, almost whispered voice, “would you come in for a little
while? I don’t feel like being alone
tonight. I know I shouldn’t be asking
you, but even if you could just stay for an hour or two…”
Jack didn’t wait for her to
finish. “No problem.” Looking over at her in the dark, he hesitated
for a moment and then reached out with his right hand and found hers. Carefully wrapping his fingers around her
hand, he squeezed it gently and was pleasantly surprised when her fingers
responded in kind and he felt a return pressure. It lifted his soul a notch, and gave his
heart a little more room for hope.
After another moment, he released
her hand and got out of the truck.
Moving around to her side, he helped her down and shut the door. Hitting the remote lock on his key ring, he
moved up the walkway beside her and ascended the front steps of the porch to
her front door. For some reason, it felt
almost surreal to him to be standing there with her, getting ready to enter her
home again. He wasn’t sure if the door
that was about to open was a door to more disappointment and heartache, or the
start of something new, but he’d never been one to back down because of a
little fear, and he wasn’t going to be starting tonight, especially when she
needed him.
Unlocking the door, Sam pushed it
open and then moved inside, with Jack following behind her. Once he was inside, he shut the door and
locked it. Not knowing what the best
next move would be, Jack stood there and waited as Sam turned on the kitchen
and living room lights.
As she switched on the living room
light, Sam looked back at Jack, who was still rather awkwardly standing by the
front door. Giving him a kind smile, she
motioned him into the living room. “I
thought maybe we could just sit…find something on T.V….maybe talk. I guess I just don’t want to be here alone
with nothing but my thoughts rolling over the events from the last few days.”
Jack understood her need. Distraction was something that would put at
least a temporary bandage on the hurt that Janet’s death had caused all of
them. Moving over to the couch, he sat
down and kicked off his shoes. Having
already removed his dress jacket and tie before going out to dinner, this was
the final step in becoming as comfortable as he could in his dress pants and
shirt.
Sam moved over to the refrigerator
and started to pull out two beers. But
then her thoughts ran to the night only weeks before when she’d found Jack
passed out in his living room, and she decided that after the few he’d consumed
at the bar and grille, she wouldn’t add to temptation. Grabbing two Diet Dr. Pepper bottles
instead, she closed the fridge door and moved over to the couch where he sat
already flipping through the television channels.
Jack looked up at her when she
handed him the soda bottle. Reaching for
it, tipped the bottle to her and gave her a reassuring smile. “Thanks.
I’ve already had my fill of beer for the night.” Not wanting to replay that awful night in his
head, Jack twisted open the bottle cap and took a swig of the carbonated
liquid. It tickled his tongue and woke
up his senses as it ran down his throat.
Sam let out a sigh of relief and
moved over to the other end of the couch and sat down. Drinking a little of her coke, she set it
down on the coffee table in front of her and curled her feet up underneath
her, bringing a pillow to her chest and
hugging it contently. She watched the
television channels flip as images flashed across the screen, a kaleidoscope of
colors that paraded endlessly before her eyes.
But Jack’s presence beside her was affecting her more than she thought
it would, and she now was beginning to question her decision to ask him to come
in with her.
But before her mind could explore
that area of thought any further, Jack’s voice filled her ears. “So how are you…really? Remember, it’s just me now…there’s no one
else here that you have to put on a brave face for.”
His voice was so sincere, so caring,
it brought unexpected tears to her eyes, and she tried to find a response. “I miss her…deeply. She meant more to me and my life than even I
realized, and now that she’s gone, I’m not quite sure how to move
forward.” She swallowed hard and tried
to keep her tears at bay. “I suppose
time will heal, but her death was so pointless…I guess that’s why it makes it
so hard to move on.”
Jack nodded. “It does make it hard to move on. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in Daniel’s
shoes right now. Not only did he care
for her, but he had to witness it...”
Jack shuttered and took another drink from his coke bottle.
Sam responded after a moment. “It’s going to be really hard on him, and I
don’t think that he even fully knows yet how hard it will be. I talked to him for a few minutes while you
and Teal’c were playing your last game of pool.
He said he loved her, but had never found the time to tell her
that. Unfortunately, I think that’s
always going to be a regret he lives with in the back of his mind.”
Jack thought on what she had just
said for a moment and then spoke up.
“Well,” he said rather quietly, “I guess that’s why they say to live
each day like it’s your last…but of course we don’t…otherwise I may not have
lost you to Pete.” Jack had not intended
to even think his name let alone say it, but unfortunately his tongue had been
quicker than his brain.
Sam felt his comment kick her right
in the gut, and she winced slightly as the air settled between them. Not knowing quite how to respond, but knowing
she should have expected him to say something like what he just had, she
gripped the pillow tighter to her chest.
“I am sorry, Jack. You know I
still care for you…deeply…but I just can commit to a relationship anymore where
I’m constantly looking over my shoulder and feeling consumed by guilt.”
Jack was going to respond to her
comment but then stopped himself. Taking
a soothing breath to keep from letting things get out of hand, Jack knew he
didn’t want to waste these precious few hours alone with Sam talking about
Pete. “How about we just not even go
there? I’d rather just focus on you and
helping you through this than go over things that have already been said. Maybe one day we can go through it again, but
not tonight. I really don’t feel like
talking about it anyway.”
Sam felt like a wave of refreshing
water had just washed over her and had swept away the mounting tension in the
room. Jack was an amazing man, selfless
and carried a bigger heart than most people knew about. But Janet had known, and she had watched them
grow together, and also witnessed as she single handedly destroyed the kind of
relationship most people would never know and only dream of. And now that she was gone, Sam would never
again have the opportunity to redeem herself in Janet’s eyes, or help her to
understand why she was doing what she had to do.
With those thoughts ravaging her
head, Sam could hold her tears at bay no longer. With shuttering shoulders, she covered her
face and began to cry into her hands, crying for all the loss that she had so
recently come to know. After only a
breath of a moment, she felt Jack’s body move closer to hers and his arms come
around her.
Kissing the top of her head ever so
gently, Jack spoke softly into her soft blond hair. “Com’ here.”
As he felt her body give its weight into him, he sat back against the
couch and held her easily against his chest as she cried openly, stroking her
hair as she worked through the emotions in her heart. No matter how much Pete tried to invade her
life and take her away from him, Jack knew that there were things and moments
that Pete could never touch or even come close in comparison to…and this was
one of those moments.
Knowing he didn’t need to say
anything, he reached for the remote next to him and turned the television down
until it was barely audible, and then reclined his head on the couch and
listened with closed eyes as her tears began to slow, as did her breathing and
the shaking motions of her emotionally-wrought body.
And so he sat there and held
her…held her for the loss she was feeling and he held her with all the hope he
had left in his heart.
Sam opened her eyes as light from
her living room window steadily lit the room around her, bathing it in hues of
pink and orange. Trying to remember why
she was waking up in her living room, she turned over onto her back, only to
discover that she was not only lying on the couch, but also lying in Jack’s
lap. As her eyes took in his face, which
was reclined back on the couch, she suddenly remembered the events from the
previous night, which had obviously led her to crying herself to sleep in his
arms.
Carefully sitting up, she ran a hand
through her hair and then curled up beside him, with her body facing his. As she took in the beauty of his sleeping
form, she couldn’t stop herself from reaching up with one hand and ever so
gently tracing a finger down the right side of his cheek. At her touch, he stirred and gradually opened
his eyes.
Jack took in his surroundings and
then turned his head and met Sam’s beautiful blue eyes. Rather it was the new morning light that had
just dawned or the fact that he was waking up with her next to him, Jack felt
incredibly at peace. And in such a peace
words were not needed between them. For
in that moment, it seemed as if the world had been reset to a right direction,
and there was nothing standing in their way from complete and pure love.
Not wanting to waste such an
opportunity, Jack reached out and cupped her face with one hand. Using gentle pressure from his fingertips, he
gently guided her to him with his heart racing.
He was now able to feel her breath on his skin, and as he ran his thumb
over her bottom lip, he couldn’t help but wet his own in anticipation. Moving in closer, his lips brushed across
hers so softly it almost didn’t feel real, but he felt the affect all the same,
and he could see as he pulled back slightly to look into her eyes that she had
felt it as well.
With his body wanting more and his
will unable to stop it, Jack moved in closer once more in hopes of another
kiss. But as he did, a sharp rapping
sound came on Sam’s front door…and as they both pulled back suddenly from
shock, Jack knew the moment was broken.
Standing up rather quickly, Sam gave him a quick look that showed her hidden
disappointment at the interruption, gaving him hope that maybe the moment could
yet be recaptured.
But that hope quickly faded as he
followed a short distance behind Sam when she opened the front door. There standing on the other side of it with a
huge bouquet of flowers in an overdone display was Pete. His face held a smile so bright he thought it
might possibly rival the light coming in from the morning sun, and he wasted no
time moving over the threshold, sweeping Sam into his free arm in one swift
move, and capturing her lips in a kiss so strong it made Jack sick to his
stomach and he had to briefly turn around from the scene to keep from lunging
forward and tackling the guy to the ground.
After what felt like an eternity,
Sam was finally released from what Jack could only describe as the “serpent’s
grasp”. Trying not to appear like he was
ready to pummel the guy with a thousand punches, Jack waiting for the right
opportunity to escape the situation as quickly as possible. He had considered leaving through the sliding
glass doors that led to the deck in her backyard, but then he figured that was
the coward’s way out and he wasn’t going to give Pete the satisfaction of that
thought.
So as Pete continued to hold Sam
against him, staring directly at her and ignoring everything else around him,
Jack cleared his throat loud enough to finally draw his attention away from
her. Pete’s voice mimicked the surprise
on his face at Jack’s presence. “Colonel
O’Neill…what are you doing here?”
Jack, his hands firmly inside the
pockets of his pants, fisted the fabric so tightly he was sure he was going to
rip them. Trying to keep his voice as
neutral as possible, Jack responded.
“Just stopped by to check on Carter here…losing the Doc has been hard on
all of us, but most especially her.”
Pete looked back at Sam, studied her
for a moment, and then nodded. “Yes, I’m
sure it has been. And I’m really sorry,
Sam, that I couldn’t be here for you sooner.
I wanted to be able to support you through the funeral.”
Sam gave him a quick, small smile
and glanced over at Jack. “It okay,
really…we were there for each other.”
Pete looked between the two of them
for a moment before speaking again, addressing Jack directly. “So, do you always pay house calls so early
in the morning? I was personally afraid
that I was even coming here a little early.”
Jack wasn’t sure how much more he
could take of having to endure Pete’s arm around Sam, but with Pete asking such
an accusing question, it was all he could do to stop himself from just walking
up to the guy and punch his lights out.
But instead, he steeled himself with his military training and answered
him. “Let’s just say after knowing
Carter as long as I have, I knew she’d be up.”
Knowing he wasn’t going to be able to stay civil much longer, he looked
over at Sam and gave her a small smile.
“I guess I’ll get going since you now have company. I’ll see you back at the base,” he said as he
quickly passed by them to the open door.
But looking back, he directed his eyes back to Sam’s. “If you need anything, just call.”
Pete’s voice immediately hit his
ears, with a tone that was not as friendly as it had been only minutes
before. “Don’t worry, Jack, I’ll take
good care of her.”
Jack’s eyes flew to Pete’s face as
he flexed his jawline. “Yes, I’m sure
you will.” Glancing briefly again at
Sam, he turned around and walked away.
Getting into his truck, he looked
back at her house and at the front door, which was now closed. Closing his eyes for a moment, he took a deep
breath and tried to focus of the brushing of his lips with Sam’s only minutes
earlier. It had been almost surreal, and
until Pete’s untimely interruption, it had begun to give him hope that he had a
chance at getting his life back. But
Pete had interrupted their moment, and he had now come face to face with what
really challenged him.
But the thing that really bothered
him was that Sam had barely reacted to Pete’s “Hollywood” kiss…if it could be
called that. Turning the key in the
ignition, he brought the truck to life and put it in reverse, pulling out of
the driveway. Giving one last look at
her house, he closed his mind to what could be going on inside and pulled away. But as he drove back to his house, his
thoughts kept returning to how Sam had reacted to his very brief kiss and her
contrasting reaction to Pete. It was
enough to give him hope that maybe things wouldn’t last between her and Pete,
but that hope also scared him. Sam had
changed, and even if she didn’t continue her relationship with Pete, would her
heart come back to him?
Deciding to take one day at a time, he arrived at his house 10 minutes later and went straight to his bedroom. Wanting to do nothing more than close out the thoughts in his head, he stripped off his clothes and climbed into his bed. Covering his head with the covers, he gave his body a few minutes to relax before finally feeling the first fingers of sleep beginning to caress his mind. But even as sleep claimed him, Sam’s eyes filled his mind, his heart, and the hope that lay in both of them.