Between Memories And Dreams

Title: Between Memories and Dreams

Author: Suz W.

Feedback: If you will!

Spoilers: After Desperate Measures (episode tag)

Rating: PG-13, S/J Romance, Friendship, Angst, Mild Language, and Mild Violence.

Summary: Sam and Jack find strength together after a traumatic event.

Disclaimer: All publicity recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended.

Copyright: The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Copyrighted on September 26, 2004, by Suzanne R. Whitmarsh.

Author’s Notes: This story follows “True Intentions”. I once again have to thank the Yahoo Group SG-1 Transcripts team for their efforts in transcribing the episode used for this story. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts!!

Dedication: I want to dedicate this story to the start of the mid-season break of Stargate SG-1. I hope that my stories will help the long, almost four-month break pass by quickly for each of you reading them.

“Ah, come on, Doc! You’re not seriously going to make me stay here another night?! It was just a flesh wound!” Jack’s voice echoed off the infirmary walls, letting everyone who was within earshot know just how irritated he was. Attempting to sit up, he was promptly stopped by Janet’s hand.

“Colonel O’Neill. I don’t really care how much you think you are ready to leave. I am the doctor here and I make the decisions. And since you sustained a gun shot wound to the shoulder and not a flesh wound, I’m deeming it necessary to keep you here another night. Continue to give me problems and you may find yourself within my care even longer!” Janet had to take a breath to calm her nerves. She was use to Jack’s constant objections each time he was in the infirmary, but it got her blood pressure up all the same.

A fellow solider lying in a bed a few feet away chuckled quietly. He was recovering from a dislocated shoulder that had happened while off world exploring a planet. Speaking up, he tried to keep his chuckling to a minimum. “Oh, come on, Sir. Hang in there. It’s not that bad.”

Jack quickly looked over at his roommate. “Jackson…”

“Johnson, Sir,” the airman quickly said, correcting Jack.

Jack just glared at the man. “Okay…Johnson! How about you not tell me how it is. I can decide that for myself, thank you!”

Johnson tried to suppress a grin. It was well known all over the base how easily it was to irritate the Colonel. Turning back to look up at the ceiling, he replied softly. “Yes, Sir.”

Jack turned his attention back to Janet, irritated to see that she had obviously enjoyed Johnson’s comment. “So Doc, about getting out of here…”

Janet crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a matter-of-fact attitude. “It’s not happening, Colonel. Not tonight. We’ll talk tomorrow and see how you’re doing then.”

Jack threw up his hands. “Oh for cryin’ out loud, I’m doing fine!” When Janet just continued to stare at him, he sighed. “Alright, I give up! Could you at least take off these damn wires! The constant beeping is driving me crazy.”

Janet smiled at him. “I think I can do that much for you, Colonel. You are stable enough. Just promise me you’ll stay here and not give anyone any more trouble.”

As Janet reached down and started unhooking the EKG wires, Jack smiled slightly. “Who me? Trouble?”

Janet raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t make me post a guard outside of that door, Sir.”

Jack rested his hands behind his head. “You don’t have to do that, Doc. Carter should be coming by soon anyway. I can irritate her instead of you.”

Janet stood up straight and looked down at him. “Actually, Sir, I told Major Carter that she needed to go home and get some real rest. Working in her lab wasn’t helping to achieve that. She didn’t want to go, but I insisted. She told me to tell you that she’d be by in the morning to check up on you.”

Jack’s face fell into a concerned look. Glancing over at Johnson, he noticed that his roommate was absorbed in one of his magazines. Looking back at Janet, he signaled her closer. When she bent over, her face close to his, he spoke up in a whisper. “Are you sure she’s ready for that? With all she went through, is she…okay?”

Janet gave him a soft smile and placed a hand on his shoulder as she stood back up. “She’ll be okay, Colonel. Major Carter went through a traumatic few days, but she’s strong, and she’ll pull through this, just like she has every other time.” Turning to go, she looked back at him. “Get some rest. I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours. If you’re behaving, I might just consider releasing you a little early.” Looking over at his roommate, she smiled. “Besides, Johnson really does need his rest.”

At the mention of his name, Johnson looked up from his magazine. “What?”

Jack looked over at his roommate and rolled his eyes, his voice grumbling. “Nothing…go back to your magazine.” Rolling over on his side, his back to the rest of the room, Jack took a breath and closed his eyes. He had been looking forward to Sam’s visit all afternoon. She had stayed with him most of the previous night and had stopped by this morning. He was surprised and concerned that she hadn’t at least come by herself to tell him that she was going home. Even though she had appeared as normal as possible, he knew she was going through hell. It frustrated him to no end that he had to stay in this bed instead of being there for her.

It had only been a little over a day since he’d gotten her back, and in that time, they still hadn’t had any real time alone together. She had been gone for a week, held captive by a lunatic madman whose only concern was for his own health. As Jack tried to squeeze the images from his mind of what he could only imagine she had gone through, Jack only felt his anger boiling hotter in his blood. Pointless to try and force sleep to come, he opened his eyes and looked at the wall.

She was supposed to have worked all weekend, unable to spend any time with him due to a massive project in her lab. Jack had hated the idea of not being able to spend any time with her. They’d even had a small argument over it. But in the end, Jack had conceded, knowing that it would be impossible to change her mind once she had set it. So, it hadn’t really concerned him that he hadn’t heard from her at all that weekend.

As Jack continued to focus on the light switch that was on the wall he was facing, his mind drifted, remembering that fateful Monday, only a few days now past, and the terror that had ripped his heart in two…

Jack put his key in her door and turned it with ease. Looking behind him to make sure he didn’t have an audience, he had to take a moment to note the beauty of the now mid-March morning. The sun had just kissed the horizon and was climbing higher in the sky, it’s pink and orange rays shedding light on a shadowy world. The mountains seemed to hold a white sparkling glow as the new light illuminated their still snow-covered tops. The air held a chill that was somewhere between Winter’s breath and Spring’s warming touch. It was filled with the scent of heavy Evergreen and pine, as random chimneys along Sam’s street puffed out smoke from an early morning fire, giving the air a mix of smoked wood and ash.

Smiling to himself, he realized as he stepped inside the warm, dark house that Sam was the one who had helped him to once again notice the beauty of a new day. As he closed the door behind him, he was surprised not to find the scent of coffee filling the air. The house itself seemed lifeless, and even as the new morning sun broached the windows of her living room, a chill came over Jack and stayed with him as he walked into the shadows towards her bedroom.

Entering through the doorway, he immediately looked down at her bed, only to find that it wasn’t occupied, and from the looks of it, hadn’t been all night. Jack knew there was a chance that she would just stay at the base all weekend, working on her project, but he thought he’d take a chance and stop by her house on the way in just to by chance steal a few precious moments with her. Her car hadn’t been outside, but he reasoned with himself that it could have been in the garage.

Clearing his voice, he called out into the emptiness that surrounded him. “Sam? Sam! Are you here?” When no response came, Jack furrowed his brows and then turned around and headed back to the front door, more purpose in his step. He didn’t like the feeling of dread that had pierced his heart since stepping into her house. He had to find her, and so he stepped out into the morning, this time seemingly not as bright, and headed to the base.

Arriving at the base 15 minutes later, Jack made a beeline for her lab. Stepping across the threshold, his shoulders dropped a little more and his fear jumped a little higher when he found it empty, and from the looks of it, had been that way for a while. Moving forward, he fingered some papers on her desk that looked like a foreign language to him.

‘Sam, where are you?’ Jack thought, his mind racing to uncover the truth. Her temporary quarters at the base could be the only other place that might hold some answers. Leaving her lab, he hurried down the hall to the room where she stayed when she didn’t go home.

Knocking on the door, he waited, his body tense with anticipation for the sound of her voice. When no sound came, he knocked again, this time a little harder, perhaps too hard, and called out her name. “Sa…Carter?!”

“She’s not in there, Colonel. I’ve already tried.” The voice of General Hammond startled Jack as he whipped around to face his superior. “In fact,” he continued, his voice full of concern, “I was hoping you might know where Major Carter is.”

Jack stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Me, Sir? I was just…wondering the same thing. I thought I’d try and catch her for some breakfast. You know, the newspapers just don’t hold my attention as much as she does. I mean…for information, that is…not that I really understand half of what she says. It’s just that…” Jack took a shaky breath. He knew he was rambling, having been taken by surprise by the General and his question. “No, Sir. I don’t know where she is. You don’t?”

General Hammond just shook his head, partly in answer and partly by the behavior of the man in front of him. Colonel O’Neill’s affections for his second in command had not gone overlooked by him. It was obvious to anyone who had eyes that Colonel O’Neill and Major Carter held feelings beyond friendship. Of course, General Hammond had yet to see any true misconduct between the two, so who was he to call them on it. Right now, he was more worried about the disappearance of one of his top officers and the how the man in front of him was handling it.

Clearing his throat, General Hammond answered Jack’s question. “I don’t, son. Major Carter was supposed to have met with me earlier this morning to go over the progress of the project she’d been working on. When she didn’t show, I started looking around. I called her house, but no one answered.”

Jack’s nervousness about the General confronting him disappeared, replaced by more anxiety for the seriousness of the growing situation. “It’s not like Carter to just disappear.”

General Hammond nodded in agreement, his face grim. “I agree. I’m going to make some phone calls. You do some more checking around the base and then meet me in the briefing room.

Jack nodded, his heart beating fast. “Yes, Sir.” With that, they parted ways. Jack didn’t know where to go first. Heading down the corridor, he decided to try the locker room first.

Arriving at it, he poked his head in and yelled out. “Carter? You in here?!” Jack was greeted by a voice, but not the one he was hoping for.

Teal’c’s deep voice echoed off the locker room walls. “O’Neill. Major Carter is not in here. I am the only one that is occupying this room. You may enter.”

Jack pushed open the door and nodded a greeting at Teal’c, who had just changed into his clothes for the day. “Heya, Teal’c. Um, you haven’t seen Carter by chance have you?”

Teal’c immediately sensed the tension in Colonel O’Neill’s voice. “I have not, O’Neill. Is something wrong?”

Jack shook his head slightly. “I’m not sure, Teal’c. Maybe. No one seems to know where she is. General Hammond’s making some calls while I check some more of the base.”

Teal’c could feel his emotions pulling in Colonel O’Neill’s direction. He could see that this was tearing him apart. Taking a step closer, Teal’c rose up to his full height. “I will assist you, O’Neill. We will find her.”

The conviction with which Teal’c said this grabbed Jack’s attention and gave him renewed strength. Giving him a small smile and placing a hand on his shoulder, Jack responded. “We will. Let’s go.”

Thirty minutes later, Jack and Teal’c found themselves in the briefing room, waiting for General Hammond to come out of his office. They could see that he was still on the phone, the same amount of frustration still visible on his face. Jack and Teal’c had searched the whole base but had found no sign of her. She had signed off the base late Friday night, but as far as the logbook showed, had not signed back in after that. That fact alone had Jack really worried.

Finally, the door to General Hammond’s office opened and he stepped out, a frown shadowing his face. Looking up into the faces of Jack and Teal’c, he tried to erase some of the worry from his voice as he spoke. “The forensic team found nothing in her house. According to one of the neighbors, Major Carter got into her car and left around 0830 hours Saturday morning.”

Jack could feel his throat constricting as he spoke. “That’s over 48 hours.”

Just then, Daniel walked in. Jack and Teal’c had found him earlier in his lab and had informed him of their missing teammate. Daniel had immediately set himself to the task of doing some phone work of his own. As he spoke, preparing to deliver the bad news, he looked at the audience before him. “The police found Sam’s car in a parking lot outside of a fitness club twelve blocks from her house.”

Jack could feel his eyes pleading with Daniel’s as he spoke. “Anything else?”

Daniel could barely answer him, knowing what he was about to say would only bring more heartache to all of them. “No witnesses.” His voice almost sounded like a doomsday prophecy resounding in his ears.

General Hammond immediately looked at Jack, knowing that he would want to take immediate action. “We have no jurisdiction outside of this facility, Colonel.”

Jack nodded slightly, his body going numb. Not knowing what else to say, his mind locking up with fear, he looked at the General. “I know. We can still look, can’t we?”

Ten minutes later, Jack found himself running to his truck to drive to the fitness club, his heart racing as his mind did, running with the possibilities of what could have happened to the woman he loved beyond life. ‘Sam, where are you? Hang on…I’m coming. I promise, Sam, I’ll find you. I’ll find you if it’s the last thing I do…’

Jack’s eyes flew open, finding his breath being taken into his lungs in ragged gasps. Sweat trickled down his temples and onto his pillow, making it damp. Jack looked around to orientate himself to his surroundings. The lights were dim, making it hard to see. The soft sounds of snoring came from a short distance away, along with the sound of soft mechanical beeps. Looking over, he found a man in a bed next to him, his heart being monitored and his right arm in a sling. Johnson. The infirmary. He was on the base, recovering from a gunshot wound to the shoulder.

Realizing he must have fallen asleep to the memory of when he’d discovered that Sam was missing, he took a breath. All was quiet except for the occasion sound of a passing nurse and the machines quietly monitoring the patients. Remembering that Janet had told him earlier that Sam had been sent home to rest, Jack rubbed his hands over his damp face. He had to get a grip. She was safe. They had rescued her. So why did he still feel so much fear?

He knew it was because he still hadn’t held her to assure himself that she really was safe. Jamming his head back into his pillow, he tried to quell the frustration inside of him at being made to stay in this God forsaken bed when he knew that she needed him. Lying on his back, he now stared up at the ceiling, a place he vowed he wouldn’t see again after getting stranded in Antarctica. Of course, he’d seen it numerous times after that fateful mission, but he still hated it all the same.

Jack thought about the past few days and all the events that had to fall into place in order for them to find her. And there had been one person that had surprisingly been essential to them finding her. A person he would have never thought to be reliable, and one he certainly didn’t trust. Jack allowed his mind to drift once more into memories, his subconscious going over what had transpired to bring a person he didn’t trust into a situation that depended almost solely on trust….

Jack pulled up into the parking lot behind the fitness club where Sam had been kidnapped. Getting out of his truck, he looked around briefly before shutting his door and reaching into the bed of the truck. Pulling out a crate full of National Geographic magazines, he moved forward to a clearing in the trees where the homeless man had made a shelter.

The previous day he had met the man when he was checking out the area where Sam had disappeared. As luck would have it, the homeless man had actually seen what had happened to her. As a bargaining chip for the details on what had transpired, the man had made him promise to bring by some old National Geographic magazines that Jack had in his closet.

It would have been simple to drive away and forget he had ever made such a promise to this man. But a promise was a promise, and to Jack, this man was the only link he had in hoping to find Sam and bring her home. As he put the magazines down on the ground, parts of the homeless man’s account of what had happened on Saturday morning kept going through Jack’s mind:

‘She was feisty, put up a fight…Ninjas. Three, maybe four. Happened fast. They pulled up in a white van, grabbed her. I’ve been telling the police about ninjas for years…’

Not seeing the homeless man anywhere, Jack turned around and headed back for his truck, his blood boiling with anger at the idea of anyone hurting her. But his heart was aching, desperately needing to see her, hold her, to know that she was okay. But he didn’t know that, he didn’t know anything. And that was killing him inside.

As Jack’s mind continued to go over the same thoughts, he failed to hear someone behind him until they spoke up. “Hi Jack. Don’t turn around.” It was Maybourne. Jack immediately ignored the request and turned around anyway, coming face to face with the man he wouldn’t even trust his own life to.

Jack snickered slightly, trying his best to shrug off the worry he knew was showing on his face. “Harry. How’ve you been? You never write, you don’t call…”

Maybourne gave him a matter-of-fact look. “I’ve got a gun.”

Jack simply shrugged. “So do I.”

Maybourne continued on, not moving from his spot. “I’m just trying to protect you. I’m a wanted criminal. It’s your duty to arrest me.”

Jack just shook his head slightly. “Always thinking of the other guy. How’d you find me?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “Played a lot of hide and seek as a kid. Funny, I could always find anyone, anywhere, but they could never find me.”

Jack just looked at him. “Because they didn’t want to.”

Maybourne was tiring of this cat and mouse game. “What do you need, Jack?”

Jack hesitated for a moment, trying to form the words without showing emotion. “Carter’s missing.”

Harry raised his eyebrows in Jack’s direction. “Really?”

Jack looked at the ground quickly before looking back up at Maybourne, his eyes squinting in hopes of hiding what he really felt. “Bunch of guys in a van took her out of this lot about four days ago. Figured it might be some of your old friends.” Jack waited on baited breath, hoping that Harry would have the answers he was searching for.

Maybourne looked at Jack, noticing the effect this was having on his “friend”. “Not the word I’d use for ‘em.”

Jack continued to watch his change in expressions. “What do you know?”

Maybourne just shook his head, the corner of his mouth curving into a small smile. “Sorry.”

Jack could feel himself getting frustrated. “You didn’t come back into this country and risk execution just to see me.” Jack took a breath, hoping to calm himself. He couldn’t allow Maybourne the upper hand on his emotions. Jack had to stay strong.

Harry continued to analyze Jack’s emotional state, and the roller coaster effect their conversation seemed to be having on him. “God knows I could think of a hundred reasons why the NID might want Major Carter, but I swear to you, I don’t know where or why she was taken. Why don’t you ask the NID?”

Jack let out a sarcastic remark. “Gee thanks. Hadn’t thought of that.”

Sitting in silence for a brief second, Harry realized just how much this meant to Jack. Sighing, he continued. “Try user 4574.”

Jack gave him a puzzling look. “What does that mean?”

Harry just smiled. “Wish I could stay and chat.”

Jack was desperate. In a split second decision, he decided to allow some emotion into his voice and put aside his differences with this man for the time being. “Harry…we’re talking about Carter here.”

Maybourne caught the pleading in Jack’s voice and actual felt sorry for him. It was obvious to him, and had been on the occasions that they had been together, that Major Samantha Carter meant more to Jack than just a fellow officer. Softening his voice, he looked directly into Jack’s eyes as he spoke. “I know. I’m sorry, Jack. I really am. You know how this game is played and the kind of people that play it. You’ve gotta prepare yourself for the possibility that she might not be coming back.” He knew these last words were harsh, but he had to say them. Turning around he walked away.

Jack blinked. He felt like he’d just been punched in the gut, and the pain that irradiated up his spine was almost too much. Not coming back. He’d never allowed the possibility to enter his conscious mind, but as the days ticked on, he knew that Harry was right. But facing that truth was too much for him right now. At that moment, he needed to focus all of his energy on getting her back, and giving up was not an option. With one last glance at Maybourne, Jack turned around and headed to his truck again, his eyes not really seeing as his fingers numbly reached out and opened the door…

Jack sat up in bed, his breath ragged once more. He was still in the base infirmary, still working though memories of what had happened, and still without Sam. He couldn’t stay there. Promise or not, he had to get out of there. He couldn’t shake his gut feeling that Sam needed him. He knew that he needed her.

Throwing the covers off of him, he ripped out the I.V. that was in his hand. Finding a piece of gauze nearby, he held it over the spot on his hand where he was now bleeding. Standing up, he grabbed onto the edge of the bed for a moment, his vision dizzy. When things became still again, he stood up straighter and carefully looked around his curtain. Johnson was still sleeping and no one seemed to be around. Luckily for him, ol’ Doc Fraiser hadn’t posted any guards outside of the door as she had threatened. He was pretty sure she was going to be furious at him when she discovered him gone, but he didn’t care. Sam was the only thing he cared about at the moment.

Moving quietly through the halls, he did his best to ignore the ache in his right shoulder. It had been well wrapped and he had been receiving pain meds, but apparently he was up for his next dose. He figured that Sam would be mad at him too for escape his prison, but he was determined to be there for her. A bullet wound in the shoulder was not going to keep him from her. He’d certainly been through a lot worse.

Ten minutes later, he stepped out of the locker room and headed to the elevators. Swiping his pass card, he waited for his salvation to the surface. When the elevator arrived, he got on and watched as the doors started to close. Just as they were about to close completely, a hand suddenly stuck between them, causing the doors to open abruptly again, revealing a very unhappy Dr. Fraiser.

Janet stood there, arms crossed over her chest, giving Jack a very irritated expression. “And just where do you think you are going, Sir? I thought we had a deal!”

Jack cringed slightly as she stepped forward, preventing the doors from closing again. Her words bit into him and left him feeling guilty. Struggling to find the right words, he took in a breath. Deciding to not try and sugar coat it, he looked straight at her and laid it out for her. “I’m tired of laying in that damn bed! Come on, Doc, I’m fine. I’ve certainly been through worse. You can’t honestly keep me there!”

Janet just shook her head. “I can and I will! Colonel, you are not released until I say you are. Now, we can go back to the infirmary together, or I can get some airmen to escort you back…”

Jack took a step closer and lowered his voice, his eyes making direct contact with hers, pleading. “Janet, please. You know why I have to go. She needs me. If you put me back in the infirmary, I’ll just find another way out. I have to see for myself that she’s okay. Trust me when I say that she is the best medicine I could get.”

Janet lowered her shoulders and relaxed her stance, her heart going out to him. She couldn’t say no when he stood there giving her those eyes. She didn’t honestly know how Sam managed to resist him on missions. Janet had seen him give Sam those eyes so many times. Sighing, she nodded. “Alright, Sir. I’ll let you go. But please promise me that you’ll report to me first thing in the morning. I’ll need to change the dressing on that shoulder.”

Jack gave her a half smile. “You’ve got it, Doc. And thanks.” Stepping back, he watched as the elevator doors closed again, this time completely. The elevator came to life, moving up towards the surface. He owed Janet one. He was on his was to Sam, and nothing was going to stop him. “Hang on, Sam, I’m coming.”

Sam was running, and running fast. Her breath sounded loud in her ears as she tried to maneuver the darkened hallways. Her feet were bare and her vision slightly blurred. She could hear them behind her. They were close, searching her out. No matter where she ran, they were always behind her, closing in.

Her heart raced with a combination of fear and adrenaline, pushing her to go on, to find a way out. Tripping around a corner as she looked behind her, she fell down, her knees hitting the ground with a thud, sending pain through her body. Grunting, she pulled herself up using one of the handrails on the staircase in front of her. She had to get out.

Willing herself to go on, she moved down the staircase to the lower level. Reaching the basement, she pushed herself on down the dark corridor. There were puddles of water everywhere as steam pushed up all around her from pipes that lined the walls. Moving through the steam, she could hear them behind her once again. ‘You have to run faster, Sam. Come on, you can do it!’. With her thoughts pushing her forward, she continued on.

Rounding a corner, she ran down another corridor. The walls seemed to be closing in, changing shape, confusing her. Running blindly, she suddenly ran into a brick wall that was in front of her. Desperately seeking a way out, she moved her hands along its rough surface, her fingers digging into any hole she could find. They were close now, so close. Turning around, she started back the way she had come, only to find her path suddenly blocked by them. They had found her, cornered her to where there was no escape.

Moving back, she pressed herself into one of the corners, her body tense with fear. Their eyes were glowing, giving enough light to show the evil nature of their twisted smiles. They moved closer, not saying anything. Hands reached out to her, grabbing her by the arms, holding her tightly to where she stood. She wanted to scream, wanted to kick, to fight, but she couldn’t move.

She watched helplessly as one of them drew out a long needle, liquid gleaming inside the syringe that it was attached to. Her breathing now ragged, she felt them move her head to the side, holding her there, exposing the carotid artery in her neck. ‘No, no, NO!!’ she screamed inside her head. Where was Jack? Why couldn’t he save her? Why was this happening to her?

Pain shot through her as they brought the needle down and plunged it into her neck, injecting the cold liquid into her system. And then the world was spinning, fading into darkness, as tears slowly rolled down her face…

He looked down at her, his eyes moving over every inch of skin that wasn’t covered by the comforter. He watched as she struggled with her dreams, wrestling demons that he couldn’t comprehend.

An owl suddenly hooted out in the night, causing him to turn with a start, his ears piercing the darkness, listening for any sounds that might indicate he wasn’t alone. A gentle breeze ruffled the curtains, making them float easily in the chilled air. Taking a breath, he drew his attention back to the woman sleeping in the bed. She was beautiful, even in fits of what he could only assume was a nightmare.

He caught sight of her tears, glimmering softly in the faint light of the crescent moon that hung precariously in the night sky. As they ran down her cheeks, leaving her skin wet, he reached out and with a feathery-light touch, wiped one away. She hadn’t seemed to notice. Whatever nightmare she was caught up in had her full attention. So he stood there, looking down at her with eyes that were filled with so much imagining, so much resentment, and so much hate….

Jack’s fingers tensed on the steering wheel as he pulled out of the base parking lot. Something was wrong; he could feel it. Knowing it would take him about 10 minutes to get to her house, he pushed on the gas a little more as the needle on the speedometer moved higher.

Jack did his best to calm his nerves. She was okay. They had gotten her back. Except he couldn’t help but almost feel ill at how close they had come to really losing her. If they had been only a few minutes later than what they had been, it would have been too late. Jack’s mind drifted back, reliving that moment when he had almost lost it all…

Jack ran down the hallway, Maybourne beside him. Suddenly, he heard her. That voice he could pick out of a crowd. ‘What’s happening? What are you doing?’ Her voice was full of fear, making Jack’s blood boil even more. But what room was it coming from? Harry and Jack looked in the windows of closed doors but found nothing.

‘Come on, Sam, let me hear you again,’ Jack thought as he moved down the corridor. And then he got his wish. Her voice faded in and out, almost in spasms, but the fear was notable. ‘You’re going to kill me!’

Jack surged forward, pinpointing the door that his ears had targeted. A male voice could suddenly be heard shouting. ‘You’ll be saving millions of lives!’

‘Like hell she will!’ Jack thought as he reached the door, with Maybourne at his heels. Peering into the window briefly to survey the situation, he saw Sam handcuffed to a bedrail, struggling with one man who was holding her down while another was attempting to inject something into her.

Not waiting a second longer, he used all his anger to kick open the door, bursting through the doorway, gun pointed directly at the man holding the needle. His voice resounded in the room like an angry wave as he moved forward, his eyes focused on the needle that still hovered over Sam. “Hold it!! Drop it! Drop it!! Right now! Don’t even fool around!” He knew that if the man made any false moves, he wouldn’t hesitate to kill him where he stood.

Jack reached out and took the needle carefully from the man, dropping it on a tray next to him. Harry’s voice suddenly sounded out. “Come over here.” The two men moved past Jack, their hands up, and proceeded to face the wall as Harry aimed his gun at them.

Jack moved his eyes to Sam’s face, quickly surveying her for any injuries. When he found none, he finally found his voice. “You alright?”

Sam’s eyes met his briefly as she attempted to catch her breath and slow her beating heart. Nodding, she answered him as best she could. “Yeah. Very dramatic, thank you.”

Jack wanted to reach out and take her in his arms, holding her as tightly as he could, and never let go. But knowing he couldn’t with an audience in the room, he attempted to appear as casual as he could. “You bet.”

Sam was still shaking. Nodding in the direction of one of the men being held by Maybourne, Sam spoke up. “The keys for the cuffs are in his pocket.” Before she knew it, Maybourne had tossed the keys to Jack and watched as he unlocked her cuffs, giving her the freedom she had started to think she’d never see again.

Jack’s voice was like music to her ears as he spoke into his radio: ‘Daniel, we got Carter. She’s okay.’ Sam and Jack made eye contact briefly, grateful to be able to look into each other’s eyes again. Sam wanted to cry as relief began to wash over her. She didn’t think she had to strength to walk out of there, that is, until Daniel’s voice pierced Jack’s radio, bringing her to her senses. ‘That’s good. I think we’ve got another problem.’

Learning that the Goa’uld was on the loose brought Sam back to reality. Jumping off the gurney, she managed to find her voice as she looked at Jack, who stood as close as he could. “They put it in Adrian Conrad to cure him. They thought they could use me to find a way to remove it.”

Jack nodded and handed her a gun. He was ready to put an end to this mess. Moving his emotions aside temporarily, he spoke up. “Good to go?”

Sam looked at him and nodded, determination and strength in her eyes. “Yes, Sir.”

And Jack knew that she was. She was the strongest, most amazing woman he’d ever known…

Jack pulled into her driveway, coming to a stop before her garage door. Taking a moment to collect himself, he looked up at her house, it’s darkened windows indicating that she wasn’t up. Climbing out of his truck, he closed and locked the door, and then fished out her key on his key ring. In the faded light of the crescent moon, he took a step forward, moving up her steps to her front door.

She felt disoriented, her vision dancing in all directions. She was now on her back, her hands and feet in restraints. The room was dark except for an eerie purple glow floating all around her. They were there, hovering over her, their eyes still glowing, their lips still just as twisted.

What did they want? As much as she struggled, she couldn’t seem to budge an inch. Closing her eyes, she tried to wipe them from her mind, but only opened her eyes to find they were still there. Her cheeks were damp with tears, yet she felt as if they were being wiped away, as if invisible fingers were touching her skin.

They moved away for a moment and they returned, but this time, one of them was hold a fully matured Goa’uld, it’s snake body wiggling in the grasp of the hands holding it, wanting to escape, to penetrate her skin. Sam thought she was going to be sick as they brought it closer to her face. She moved her head side to side, attempting to somehow escape her impeding doom…

The sound of the front door opening alerted him, making him jump. He quickly moved away from her, watching her as she thrashed about her bed, and hurried back to the window that he’d come through, making sure to leave the package that he had brought resting on her nightstand….

Sam knew that this was it. There was no hope left. Jack wouldn’t reach her in time. He wouldn’t save her. Their hands were cold as they grasped her head, their fingers digging into her skull, forcing her head to the side. She could feel the approach of the Goa’uld, it sharp hiss ringing in her ears.

And then as the world faded away, she felt its sharp teeth pierce the back of her neck. She finally cried out for all that she was loosing. “NO!!!”…

At the sound of her scream, Jack dropped his keys and ran at top speed through her living room and down the hall to her bedroom. She was thrashing around in her bed, her body drenched in sweat as tears streamed down her face. Her cries were enough to shred his heart into pieces.

Forgetting the pain in his shoulder, he pulled his arm out of its sling and gathered her up in his arms before sitting down. Holding her tight against him, he stroked her damp hair with one hand as he gently rocked her in his embrace. When she only continued to cry out, he took her head between his hands and called out her name. “Sam! Sam!! Can you hear me? Come on, snap out of it! That’s an order!!”

At the urgency in his voice, Sam took in a huge gasp of air and opened her eyes, her body shaking uncontrollably. When her eyes met Jack’s, she thought it was a dream. But then she brought her hands up and placed them on his that still held either side of her head. He was real…this was real. Relief and shock rocked her body as her eyes filled up with fresh tears. Her voice was shaky and soft as she spoke. “Jack! Oh, God…you’re here!”

Jack gave her the briefest of smiles before pulling her quickly into his arms again. “I’m here, baby, I’m here. Shhh…it’s going to be okay, I promise. You’re safe. It was only a dream.” He could feel his own emotions choking his throat, threatening tears of his own. As he continued to rock her slowly back and forth, her body still shaking slightly, he kissed the top of her head and held her tight as she cried.

Five minutes later, the world seemed more at peace again. Sam’s shaking had all but stopped and her breathing had returned to a more normal rhythm. Feeling her pull back, Jack released his grip on her and watched as her eyes captured his, her face only inches away. He reached out and touched her face, his palm settling into the familiar shape of her soft, warm cheek.

Sam looked into his eyes as her soul calmed at his touch. She could see so much emotion in his eyes, so much turmoil. Wanting to reassure him that she was going to be okay, she moved forward and found his lips, skin touching skin, sending a rush of warmth through both of their bodies. Nothing had been said since he’d told her it was a dream…but nothing needed to be said. Their emotions were running so high that they spoke for themselves.

Both getting lost in the kiss, Sam moved her lips over his face and to his neck, needing to feel him, to hold him, to feel one with him. As her mouth trailed down his neck in an intense hunger, she moved her hands underneath his coat and attempted to move it off his shoulders. When she did, her fingers touched a damp spot on his right shoulder as he flinched at her touch.

Pulling back, she quickly but carefully pulled back the front part of his coat, revealing a bloodstained shoulder. His shirt was soaked in fresh blood, the fabric not enough to prevent it from seeping through. She gasped lightly at the sight of it, looking up at him. “Oh God, Jack. I forgot your shoulder.”

Jack grimaced in pain as she attempted to carefully pull the coat off of him. “Yeah, I guess I forgot too. Doc’s not going to be too happy with me.” He cried out softly as she pulled the coat off the rest of the way.

Sam cringed. “Sorry! Are you okay?” Quickly realizing her statement, she answered for him. “Dumb question, sorry. Here, let me help you.” Standing up, she took his good arm and led him into her bathroom. Flicking the light on, they both squinted at the invasion of bright light into their world of shadowy dark.

As Jack leaned against the bathroom counter, he watch with amazement at the resilience of the woman in front of him as she reached under the counter for a First Aid kit. Moments later, she was unbuttoning his shirt, removing it carefully as not to rip the blood-soaked bandages off. Jack couldn’t help but give her a small grin. “You know, Sam, if you’re wanting to seduce me in the bathroom, you could just come out and say it.”

Sam glanced at him, giving him the briefest of tolerable smiles. Her focus was on removing the bandages as she spoke. “Jack, be serious. You’re hurt, and it’s my fault. You shouldn’t have been using this arm in the first place.” Hesitating briefly, she found a smile forming on her lips as she glanced up at him once more. “And don’t worry. True bathroom seduction will happen later.”

Jack smiled briefly with her at her comment, only to quickly cringe as she pulled off the last bandage, revealing a bloodied mess. “Well,” he said, trying not to let the pain get to him, “I’m going to hold you to that.”

As Sam soaked a cotton ball in some hydrogen peroxide, she spoke up as she dabbed it gently on his skin. “Yes, well, you are my knight in shining armor, and I have yet to properly thank you.”

Jack dug his fingers into the countertop he was holding onto as she worked. “Yeah, that reminds me,” he said through gritted teeth. “I thought I was suppose to be helping you.”

Sam stopped what she was doing and looked up into his eyes and touched his face. “You have; you always do.” Placing a feathery kiss on his lips, she went back to what she was doing.

A few minutes later, Jack’s shoulder was clean and neatly wrapped in fresh bandages. Admiring her doctoring skills, he smiled down at her and placed a kiss on her lips. “Thanks. Doc would be proud of you.” He watched as she smiled up at him, her body close to his.

She wanted to get lost in his arms and never find her way out. Knowing reality would never allow that, she moved around the bathroom, picking up the supplies she’d used to clean his wound and throwing away the bloody bandages. Looking over at him, she gave him a soft smile as her system finally started to relax. “Let me just wash my face and I’ll be out to join you in a minute.”

Jack nodded, smiling back at her. “Okay.” As he stepped back into the bedroom, he realized for the first time just how cold it was in there. Looking over at the window, he found one of them partially open. “Hey Sam. You mind if I shut your window? It’s a little too early in the season to be sleeping with it open.”

Sam popped her head out. “I don’t remember opening it…strange. But then, with the kind of nightmare I was having, anything is possible I guess.” As she moved back into the bathroom, Jack looked at the window with puzzlement before carefully shutting and locking it.

Moving over to her bed, he attempted to straighten out the ruffled sheets, trying to remove any trace of the nightmare that she had experienced. He didn’t know if she was ready to talk about it, but he would do all he could to bring her comfort. Spotting a candle on her nightstand, he took a book of matches that were lying next to it and lit it. As he was blowing out the match, he noticed the plain manila envelope lying next to the candle.

Just then, Sam walked out of her bathroom looking refreshed. Pointing at it, he spoke up. “What’s this? Homework from the lab?”

Sam stopped dead in her tracks and paled. Jack was immediately at her side, supporting her with his good arm. “Sam, honey, what is it?”

Sam slowly looked over at him, her face a shade whiter. “That’s not mine, Jack. I’ve never seen that before.” Her voice seemed a bit shaky again as they made the connection at the same time of the open window and the envelope.

Jack led her over to the bed and sat her down. Reaching out for the envelope, he took it and ripped it open. Pulling out the contents, he sat down on the bed next to her and felt his insides flip upside down. There were more pictures of them in Hawaii, except this time it was of the two of them in her suite, making love in bed after they had finished their swimming session for the day. A single note was attached, using the same magazine clippings as the last one: I Still Know.

Jack thought he was going to go crazy. Flinging the pictures all over the room, he got up and paced the room, running his hands through his hair. “God, who is this son-of-a-bitch and what in the Hell does he want!” Jack stopped in his tracks and looked at her suddenly.

Sam was startled by the way he was looking at her, like fear had a new meaning. “What? What is it!”

Jack closed his eyes briefly and tried to take a breath. “Please tell me that was there when you went to bed…that you just didn’t want to open it then…or maybe you didn’t notice it.”

Sam’s breath caught in her throat. She thought she was going to be sick. “Oh, God…the dream…it felt like someone was touching…my cheek. I didn’t think…”

Jack knew he was on the edge of going crazy. “He was in here! That SOB was in here while you were sleeping!” Jack rammed his fist against the wall, his frustration having no other place to go. “I knew something was wrong!”

Sam hugged herself. “What are we going to do, Jack? How far is this going to go?”

Jack looked over at her, hearing her voice crackle. Forgetting his own emotions, he moved over to her, sitting down next to her, and pulled her to him with his good arm. “I don’t know…but one thing’s for sure. When you’re not staying on base, you’re not going to be staying here alone. At least not until I can figure this out.”

Sam pulled up and looked at him, taking his face in her hands. “Oh no you don’t, O’Neill. We’re doing this together. I’m not going to let some freak run our lives. If he wants to play, we’ll play him together.”

Jack sighed. As he laid back in the bed, pulling Sam with him, he stroked her back as she laid on his chest. “I suppose there’s no way of talking you out of it.”

Sam shook her head slightly and held him tighter. “Nope.”

Jack stared up at her ceiling. He didn’t like this new unknown, but all that he wanted to focus on right at that moment was that he had her in his arms, and that she was safe. Speaking softly, he couldn’t hide the emotion in his voice. “I’m just glad that I’ve got you back and that you’re okay. When you were missing, I thought…I thought I’d go crazy. I was so…scared that I would get to you in time.”

Sam let the silence fall around them for a moment while she absorbed his emotions. Lifting her head, she placed a kiss on his lips that lingered a moment longer than the rest and then nestled herself under his chin. “I know. I didn’t know what would happen. I…I honestly started to think, especially at the end, that I’d never get to see you again. I love you, Jack.”

Jack placed a kiss on her head and then rested his cheek there. “I love you, Sam.”

There was so much more to be said, but not that night. The simple words spoke so much for them, calming their souls and hearts for at least that moment in time. As they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms, they knew that no matter how happy they were, they would never be able to totally relax until this new unknown shadow over their lives could be wiped away.

As they fell asleep, a pair of eyes carefully watched them from the cold of the night outside Sam’s window. Just then, his cell phone vibrated. Picking it up, he answered it in a low voice. “Yeah.”

Simmons voice was on the other end. “Listen to me you son-of-a-bitch! If you think you can double cross me, you’re dead wrong. I want those pictures you promised me.”

The man’s lips twisted into a smile. “Yeah, well, I’ve changed my mind. I’ve got my own agenda now.”

Simmons could feel the danger in his voice. “Then you’re a dead man.”

The phone line went dead and the man went back to watching the sleeping couple. “Only if you can find me, Simmons. Only if you can find me.”

Next Story---> "Behind The Shadows (part 1)"

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