This story
came about after co-writing "Status Quo" with Rose Stetson. I took
the basic idea of that story and changed it up a bit. It's more humorous than
"Status Quo". It is NOT identical to "Status Quo" and
I hope the similarities don't keep you from reading.
A Wake up Call
By
The Ring
Sam mindlessly
played with the small gold piece in her hand. It was pretty, no doubt about
that, but it wasn’t her. She was somewhat disappointed in Pete. They were about
to get married and he didn’t even know what kind of jewelry she liked. She
couldn’t totally blame him though. He had never asked and she had never said
anything. Honestly she was hoping he never would. As sweet as Pete was, he
wasn’t the one she wanted to receive a ring from. He wasn’t the one she had
been with for eight years, even if they were never really together.
She let her
mind drift back to a day of shopping. After having her body invaded by a
computer virus Sam felt like she had earned a day of self-indulgence. Although
Sam was never really the shopping maniac most women are made out to be, she
felt like a day at the mall would be a good way to keep her mind off anything
related to the SGC, including her commanding officer. The mall was busy and
loud, a perfect distraction.
While window shopping,
she passed by a jewelry store. She wasn’t planning on buying anything but she
always liked to see what creative ideas the designers had come up with. In the
back of her mind, she always kept her eye out for the perfect ring, that one
ring that she could proudly flash around.
Sam was
studying a particularly beautiful diamond on a white gold band when the man
behind the counter took it from its case. Sam watched him as he took the ring
to a machine in the corner of the shop. Curiosity got the better of her and she
couldn’t help but ask, “What does that machine do?”
The man looked
up from his work and grinned. “It’s an engraving machine. A customer wants a
special phrase on this one.” Sam smiled at the romantic gesture.
“I’m telling
you. Whoever gets this ring is one lucky girl.”
She thanked
him and went on with her shopping, wishing she would get a ring like that.
Sam’s
daydreams were interrupted by a familiar voice. “CARTER!” She almost jumped out
of her seat at the loud voice of the Colonel and the site of him waving his
arms in front of her face, trying to get her attention.
“Sir!”
Jack saw the
ring still in her hand. “What cha got there?”
For a moment
Sam didn’t know what he was talking about. Then she remembered the ring. “Oh.
This?” She looked down at her hands.
“Yeah. That.”
Jack wasn’t so sure he wanted to know anymore. The expression on Sam’s face was
not the most encouraging. “…Unless you don’t want to talk about it?” he added
cautiously.
For reasons
unknown to her, Sam relaxed at his words. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t
pressuring her to explain. Maybe it was because she didn’t have to lie about
having feelings for him. She wasn’t sure the reason but none the less she was
glad he had asked.
“Um, Pete gave
it to me.” She replied and handed Jack the ring. He took it carefully, not
really wanting to touch it, like a tissue someone has just blown into. Sam saw
this look but before she could take it back, Jack closed his hand around the
piece of metal and returned to his military toughness. He examined it for a
minute before giving it back.
“It’s nice.”
He sucked in a quick breath before adding, “Congratulations.”
No Jack.
No. You are supposed to be telling me NO!
“Thank you.”
She replied uncomfortably.
There were a
few moments of silence in which Jack played with the gadgets on Sam’s desk
while she avoided his gaze by acting suddenly interested in rearranging her
pens and pencils.
“UNSCHEDULED
OFFWORLD ACTIVATION” came the loud voice of Sergeant Walter over the
speaker system.
Thank God! Sam and Jack thought
simultaneously as they ran off to see what was happening.
A New Discovery
After
a little excitement in the gate room when SG-3 came in hot, Sam finally made it
back to her lab. Plopping down in her seat, she reached for her much needed
coffee. Taking a sip of the bitter liquid, she thought about Pete’s ring still
in her pocket. Why did things have to be so complicated?
Sam brushed
those thoughts aside and began working a report. An hour later, she had
finished. She reached for the stapler but realized it was empty. Great.
She thought. Another thing to add to my day. Putting the stapler back on
her desk, she thought of her options. She could go several floors down to the
storage room or down the hall to Jack’s office. She was too tired to go to the
storage room but she didn’t really want to face Jack again. “Jeez it’s just
staples, Carter!” She said getting a hold of herself.
Picking up her
report, Sam made her way down the hall to Jack’s office, half hoping he
wouldn’t be there. Seeing his door was wide open, she walked into his office. Typical
O’Neill style. She thought to herself. Unfinished mission reports were
scattered about. Stacks of schedules, more reports and random papers and books
were piled on every surface.
Sam shook her
head and walked toward his desk, turning off the coffee maker that had long ago
burned up the water. She searched through the debris covering his desk but with
no success. He’s got to have some staples around here somewhere. She
opened a drawer and jumped back as a paper snake leapt at her. Smiling, she put
it back in the drawer with the rest of Jack’s personal affects; rubber spiders,
itching powder, hand buzzer, and whoopee cushions.
Opening the
next drawer, Sam saw a box of staples. Thank you! She thought, reaching
for the package. Another box caught her eye and she froze. Crammed between
random office supplies was a small black velvet box. Her mind raced. Why did
Jack have that? Who was it for? Was it possible that he and the CIA agent were
more than they appeared?
She knew they
were dating but had no idea they were so serious. Shaking her head in
disbelief, Sam recalled the day she discovered Jack and Kerry’s love affair.
She couldn’t remember a time in her life more embarrassing than that visit to
her commanding officer’s home. She was still kicking herself for coming over
without calling first. There she was, about to confession her long concealed
desire for Jack, when Kerry Johnson came waltzing in. Talk about timing.
It couldn’t be
for Kerry! It couldn’t! She was the one that was supposed to marry Jack.
Love swelled inside her, leaving her without breath for a moment. It was the
first time since the Za’tarc incident that she had allowed herself to
acknowledge her feelings for Jack.
-
Staff in
hand, Jack beat furiously on the barrier between himself and Sam. The whole
mountain was about to explode but nothing could make him leave.
“Sir, just
go!” Sam pleaded.
“NO!”
They looked
at each other, both knowing how the other felt and instantly regretting doing
nothing to change the one thing that stood in the way of having a happy life
together. “I love you” their eyes seemed to say. Peering through each other’s
eyes and into their souls, they saw their lives flashing before them. They
longed to be together, even if it were only during the last seconds of their
lives. They longed for the companionship they never had and would never get the
chance to have.
“What were
you feeling?” Jack’s thoughts were brought back to the examination room by the
annoying Tok’ra interviewer.
“Like
someone who was about to die.” Although he loved Sam more than anything, he
couldn’t bring himself to say it; not only because of the possibility of a
court martial but because he had just admitted it to himself. He had denied it
for so long. How was he supposed to say it now?
“Sir…” Sam
warned. She knew what he wasn’t telling and wished he’d just say it. Forget the
regulations. This was Jack’s life! She’d gladly take a court martial to save
his life. She’d do anything for him.
Jack’s eyes
pleaded with her, asking if she was absolutely sure this was the only way. They
both knew what the consequences could be if they confessed their feelings.
He took one
more look at Sam before continuing.
“I didn’t
leave,” he paused, “because I’d have rather died myself than lose Carter.”
“Why?” A
part of Jack wanted to slap Anise. She had gotten her answer now she was just
prying. He couldn’t help but think it was because he had rejected her when she
had kissed him earlier. “Fine,” he thought, “you want the truth, I’ll give you
the truth.”
“Because I
care about her…a lot more than I’m supposed to.”
-
There was no
mistaking the fact that Jack had feelings for her but what had changed? Had he
given up hope? Yes regulations had kept them from being together but if he really
wanted her she would retire. She had a doctorate in science, after all. She
could continue to work with the Stargate program as a civilian. She’d even take
a job at Area 51. It didn’t matter where she worked, as long as she and Jack
could be together.
But all
thoughts of being with him were now demolished. Tears started to push against
the edges of Sam’s eyes. No. She wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t mourn the loss of a
man she never had.
Sam studied
the jewelry box in her hand. Every sense in her body was telling her to open
it, just a quick peek. She wrestled with the morality of it for a moment before
giving in. Curiosity had gotten the best of her. Preparing herself for the
unexpected, Sam slowly lifted the lid.
Sitting in a
silky white blanket was the most beautiful ring Sam had ever seen. It was her
ring! That one perfect ring she had always been searching for. With trembling
hands, she removed it from its home and slipped it onto her ring finger. She
gasped at how perfect it fit. Holding back her hand to admire the ring, she was
amazed at the beauty of the gleaming gem.
“Carter? What
cha doing?” came a deep, familiar voice from behind.
Sam leapt in
the air, clutching her heart. “Sir! You scared me.” She breathed.
“Yes, well,
it’s always a scary thing when I’m actually in my office.” The Colonel left his
leaning spot on the door and came toward his desk. Noticing something in
Carter’s hand he asked, “What cha got there?”
Sam looked
down at her hand horrified to see she was still grasping the jewelry box.
“Ah—I—ah.” Crap. “I ran out of staples.” She quickly dropped the box
into the drawer and picked up the staples with her right hand, waving them at
Jack, while being very careful to keep her left hand in her pocket. “You
weren’t in here so I thought—“
“No. Carter,
it’s fine.” He waved off Sam’s apology as she breathed a silent sigh of relief.
Awkward
silence hovered around the room, bumping into Jack until he finally broke the
stillness.
“So…Carter,
lunch?”
Sam looked at
him questionably. “Actually sir we have a briefing for our mission to
P3X-3489.”
“Ah. Right. I
knew that.”
Sam smiled at
the way he tried, and failed, to play off his forgetfulness. She also couldn’t
help but notice a hint of disappointment in his face. Stuffing the staples into
her pocket, she headed for the door. “Ah, thanks for the staples.” She said as
she exited the office, praying he wouldn’t have a sudden urge to look at his
engagement ring before she had time to put it back.
Who’s Ring Is It Anyway
Sam
was glad the briefing was finally over so she could get back to her lab and
try, once again, to get that dang ring off her hand. In her hurry to leave, she
forgot about the obviousness of the ring and grabbed for her papers. Jack
noticed the glint on her hand.
“Carter?” Jack
looked at her questioningly. “Sir”
“Would you
like to explain why there’s a ring on your hand?”
Teal’c,
Daniel, and General Hammond stopped in mid step.
“Not really
sir.” She mumbled. Blushing, she tried hiding her hand in her pocket.
Her teammates
and base commander stared at her, waiting for an explanation.
“Sam, are you
getting married?” Daniel inquired.
“Ye…Yeah”
Jack’s heart
fell as he realized his chances with Sam were now officially gone, though it
wasn’t like he even had a chance. There were regulations against relationships
like theirs. Trying to sound supportive, Jack pointed towards Sam’s pocket.
“Let’s see the ring”
Her face
turned an even darker shade of red. Quickly, Sam brought her hand out of her
pocket, waving it in front of her teammates. She prayed Jack wouldn’t recognize
the ring. Fat chance.
“Hold still,
Sam.” Daniel reached to immobilize her hand so they could get a better look.
The team moved in closer to inspect the solitary diamond mounted on a white
gold band.
Jack felt his
face light on fire and backed away. That was his ring. The ring he had
bought for Sam. How did she get it? Why was she wearing it?
“That’s a nice
ring. Congratulations.”
“Pete’s a lucky
guy.” Daniel said to his crimson friend.
Teal’c studied
the ring with curiosity. “This ring appears familiar.” He turned to Jack whose
eyes were now threatening to come out of their sockets. “This ring resembles
one in your possess-"
“I don’t know
what you’re talking about T.” He tried playing it cool but found it hard with
the eyes of his teammates, boss, and love of his life burrowing into him.
“Pete gave me
this ring.” Teal’c recognized the pleading in Sam’s eyes and bowed slightly as
if accepting this excuse.
She pulled her
hand out of Daniel’s grasp and put it back in her pocket. “Um…I ah….I need to
get to work on the artifacts SG-3 brought back from P3X-5739.” She made a bee
line for the door, leaving her wide-eyed friends to wonder about the
genuineness of her excuse.
Sam
paced her lab, mumbling to herself. I was wrong. That was the most
embarrassing moment in my life. Not only did Jack see her wearing his ring
but so did the rest of her team and boss. She pulled the ring off her finger.
How could such a beautiful thing cause such havoc? She had to put it back in
Jack’s office. She just hoped Jack wouldn’t be there.
Sam walked
quickly to Jack’s office. As she approached the door, she slowed, trying to see
if he was in his office. His door was open. That was a good sign. Cautiously
looking through the open doorway, Sam signed in relief to see no one was in
there. Thank you!
Quickly and
quietly, she went to the desk and opened the drawer that had contained the
ring’s case. “No. No. No.” She breathed. The case was no where to be seen. She
searched through the drawer, hoping the box had just slipped down between
something. No luck.
What was she
going to do? By now, Jack knew his ring was missing. And he had to have
recognized the ring she was wearing wasn’t Pete’s. How was she going to explain
it? Trying to calm herself down, Sam thought “I’ll just leave the ring on the
desk.” She changed her mind the instant she looked at his messy desk. There was
no way he’d find it if she left it there. The only way to make sure he got it
back was to put it back in its box or hand it to him personally. The second
option was out of the question. She’d just have to come back later and hope the
box was back in the drawer.
Heading
quickly to the door, Sam didn’t notice the Colonel coming. They ran straight
into each other, knocking themselves off their feet. In an effort to break his
fall, Jack dropped the velvet box in his hand. Sam hastily stood up. “I’m sorry
sir. I didn’t see you. Are you ok?” She offered Jack her unadorned hand. Taking
it, he pulled himself up.
“It’s ok
Carter.” He answered absentmindedly while searching the floor for his ring box.
Seeing it, he snatched it up and stuffed it in his pocket, hoping Sam hadn’t
seen. Trying to take the attention off of himself he turned to a rather anxious
Carter. “This is the second time today I’ve found you in my office. You must
really like staples.”
Sam laughed
half heartedly. She looked at the door, then Jack, then back at the door.
Noticing this Jack questioned her, “In a hurry to get somewhere?”
She lied.
“Well you know me and new technology. I was going to check out what SG-3
brought back.”
“Right. SG3.
Lots of new doohickies.”
“Well, I’ll
tell you what cool things I find out.” She began to retreat back to her lab
when Jack called after her.
“Carter,
wait.”
She turned
around slowly, knowing what he was going to ask her.
“About that
ring…”
“Sorry sir.
I’ve got to go. We’ll talk later.” She dashed to her lab and shut the door.
Friendly Advice
Jack
just stared at the spot where Sam had stood only moments earlier. Slowly, he
returned to his office, closing the door behind him. Sam’s sweet aroma lingered
in the air. Closing his eyes, Jack enjoyed the scent for a moment before
sitting at the chair behind his desk. Opening a drawer, he pulled out a picture
frame.
The simple,
silver frame captured the beauty of a smiling, brown haired woman. She was sitting
on his porch eating a very burned hotdog. Jack looked at Kerry for a few
moments then glanced up at the door to make sure it was closed. Turning over
the frame and removing the back, he revealed another picture. Picking up the
small, worn portrait, Jack smiled back at the blonde woman. She was holding a
fishing pole and wearing one of his goofy fishing hats.
He remembered
that day perfectly. The team had come over for a long overdue day of rest and
relaxation. Jack had burned the hamburgers. Sam estimated the amount of fish in
his pond according to its depth and diameter (go figure). Daniel drank a lot
for someone who doesn’t like beer, and Teal’c was left confused about why
someone would enjoy fishing. Ah what a day!
Jack shifted
his weight so he could take the small jewelry box out of his pocket. Slowly, he
opened it and gazed at the emptiness. He wasn’t sure how to feel. A part of him
was devastated that the ring had been discovered. Another part was reveling in
the fact that his ring was on the Sam’s hand. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted
it back. If she gave it back it meant he had kept alive a love that would have
never gotten the chance to grow. It meant she didn’t want him and he wasn’t
sure how he would react to that.
Hearing a soft
knock on the door, Jack snapped shut the box and stuffed it and the pictures
into his top drawer. “Come in.”
The door
creaked open to reveal the stern faced jaffa.
“What’s up,
T?”
“O’Neill, I
apologize for my comment in the briefing room.”
Jack tried
playing off his discomfort about the subject. “Don’t worry about it.”
“My only
intention was to congratulate you and Major Carter on your engagement. I did
not intend to embarrass you.”
“Like I said,
don’t worry about it.”
There was
silence for a moment as Teal’c studied his friend.
“There is
something you are not telling me.”
“How do you
always do that!?” He only got an emotionless stare in response. “Ok so maybe
there is.”
“I have heard
that in such cases it helps to talk.”
Taking a deep
breath, Jack confided in his burly friend. “Pete…he proposed to Carter.” When
Teal’c didn’t respond, Jack continued. “She said she hadn’t decided whether or
not to accept. When I saw her wearing that ring, I thought she had accepted
and…”
“You did not
know how to respond.” Teal’c finished and Jack nodded. “It is not a secret that
you and Major Carter have feelings for one another.” Jack raised his eyebrow
and Teal’c explained, “We were all present during the Za’tarc investigation.”
Jack rolled
his eyes. Was he ever going to be able to live that down?
“Major Carter
is most likely feeling the same way as you.” Teal’c didn’t have to say anymore.
Jack knew what he was implying. He nodded, telling Teal’c he would talk to her
later. He accepted this answer with a small bow.
“I wish you
luck O’Neill.” He said before heading to the door.
“I’m going to
need it.” Jack mumbled as the door closed.
She Said Yes?
Sam
sat in front of her laptop, blindly scrolling down the endless pages of
research. She glanced at her left hand where she had replaced Jack’s ring. She
had convinced herself that she’d only put it back on because she didn’t want to
lose it. Jack and Kerry would kill her if she lost it. Although she was a
little uncomfortable wearing another woman’s engagement ring she couldn’t help
but smile every time she looked at it. Images of herself and the Colonel danced
in her mind and filled her body with warmth.
She finally
gave up on trying to do work. She thought it would have been easier since she
had gone home but unfortunately her problems followed her wherever she went.
Taking the ring off her finger, she studied it closely since she hadn’t gotten
a chance to do so earlier. A flash of recognition made her gasp. “It
couldn’t be the same ring.” She thought. “It couldn’t.” Rolling it
around, she looked for an engraving of any kind. Seeing the print, she leaned
in to read it: Forever yours, no matter the reality.
“Oh my God! It
wasn’t for Kerry. It was for—“
A sudden knock
on the door made her jump. Without thinking, she put the ring back on. “Come
in.” She called from the kitchen.
“Sam!”
Oh no. Why
did it have to be him?
“How are you
doing, darling?” Pete came around the side of the kitchen counter and wrapped
his arms around her shoulders.
“Ah, I’m
good.”
“Did you
forget about our lunch date?”
“Oh, I’m
sorry. I was working and lost track of time. You know how it is.” Sam tried
hiding her left hand but as she did so the diamond caught the light shining in
through the window and flashed Pete in the eyes.
“SAM!” He
gasped. She braced herself for the inevitable explosion. “Does this mean you’re
saying yes?”
“Wh—what?”
“Are you
saying you’ll marry me?”
“Ah, yeah.”
She sighed in relief that he hadn’t recognized the ring.
“This is so
great Sam!” Pete placed a passionate kiss on her trembling lips.
Can You Stay For Awhile?
“Alright
Jack. Just do it and get it over with.” Jack paced back and forth in his
office, giving himself a pep talk. He tightened his grip on the jewelry box in
his hand and marched out the door and down the hall to the elevators.
Pulling into
Sam’s driveway, Jack turned off the car and took in a long breath. This was it,
the moment of truth. He got out of his heavy duty truck and walked down the
walkway to Sam’s front door. A millions things were running through is mind and
more than once he contemplated turning back.
Seeing her
door was open, he marched inside. “Carter, look. We need to ta—“ Jack froze at
the sight of Sam lip locked with Pete. “Ah…I’ll just come back later.”
Pete broke the
kiss and called after Jack. “Hey, wait. I want you to be the first to know.”
Jack studied
Sam who was silently bowing her head. “First to know what?”
Pete grinned
and wrapped an arm around Sam, pulling her out of her seat and against him.
“We’re getting married!”
Jack didn’t
know how to respond to that. Pete broke the silence with a stern, “Usually
people say congratulations right about now.”
“Oh, right.
Sorry.” He shook his head. “Congratulations. I…I didn’t realize you two were so
serious.” He lied, trying with all his might to avoid Sam’s eyes but he could feel
them burning into him.
“Well, thanks
for that enthusiasm, Jack.”
Sam couldn’t
take the tension anymore. She just wanted to be alone. “Thank you, sir.” She
pulled away from Pete and began picking up the papers that littered the
counter. “I think I’m going to go jump in the shower and take a nap. I’m
exhausted. Pete, why don’t we just have dinner instead?”
Jack took this
as this cue to leave. “Ok. Well, I’ll just talk to you later, Sam.” He mentally
kicked himself at using her first name. “Um, Carter.” He added quickly as he
exited the house.
Jack drove
home in a fog of emotions and thoughts. Images of himself and Sam swam around
in his mind. Every mission, every look, touch, smile; flooded over him like a
tidal wave.
-
Sam and
Jack walked happily back to the gate. Thanks to the genius of Doctor Fraiser
they had developed a cure for the Virus of the Touched.
Sam came up
to Jack’s side, her nervousness evident. “Um, sir?”
“Yeah?”
“About my
earlier behaviour. I wasn’t myself, I—“
“Oh Carter,
I don’t even remember your earlier behavior.” Jack lied.
“You
don’t?”
“No, I was
affected too remember?”
“Right.
Good, I’m glad.”
A devilish
smile appeared on his face but he wiped it off before Sam could notice. “By the
way, how’s the wound?”
“Wound?”
“I understand
you got stabbed in the stomach or something?”
“Oh! Yeah,
it’s nothing. With any luck there won’t even be a scar.”
“Oh, good.
I was concerned.”
“You were?”
Jack? Being concerned about her?
“Sure. If
it doesn’t heal properly you’ll never wear that sweet tank top number again.”
With that he strutted away, leaving Sam to contemplate the full meaning of his
words.
-
Sam was so
beautiful. The moment he saw her, his breath was taken away. No one had ever
done that, not even Sara. She was made even more irresistible by her brains and
tough, yet feminine attitude. Oh how he longed to hold her.
-
Ice had
crept into every muscle and bone, filling them to the point of excruciating
pain. Jack awoke with a fright, a heavy weight on his broken chest. “Oh God, Caption.”
Sam rose her head and Jack realized she was the weight on his chest. “As much
as I might...otherwise think this is nice…”
“Ssshh. Try
to sleep.” Sam nestled her head on her chest. He really did enjoy having her
that close but man was it painfully.
“That’s
fine. It’s just…very hard to sleep…with broken ribs when someone’s lying on
you.”
She moved
her head to his arm, relieving the pain and allowing him to enjoy her a little
bit too much.
“Um,
Colonel?”
“It’s my
sidearm, I swear!”
-
-
Sam sat
quietly on a stool next to Jacob’s bed. Tears stained her cheeks. Jack came up
next to her, doing his best to comfort her. “You ok?” He couldn’t stand to see
her cry.
“Actually
I’m fine. Good even, as strange as that sounds. I thought I lost him four years
ago. Since then we’ve been closer then we ever were my whole life. In a way,
Selmak gave me the father I never thought I’d know.” Tears began to form again
in her eyes.
“Come
here.” Jack wrapped an arm around his friend.
Sam took
his hand that hung over her shoulder. “Thank you sir.” Out of all the people
that had given her their condolences, he was the only one that could make her
feel better. No matter what was wrong he could always put a smile on her face.
“For what?”
“For being
here for me.”
“Always.”
Jack hoped that she would know that he wasn’t just there for her when she was
sad. He’d always be there for her, loving her the best he knew how.
-
Jack arrived
at his home. Entering the dark house, he headed straight for the kitchen. He
retrieved a six pack of beer and made his way into the living room. He chugged
two bottles before deciding he no longer wanted to be alone with this thoughts.
He pulled himself off the couch and stumbled over to the radio sitting on the
bookshelf next to the TV. He turned it on, paying no attention to what station
it was on, and plopped back on the couch. A sad guitar melody filled the room.
Close my
eyes
underneath a full moon who shares her smile
Here I'll wait just for her
“I’ll wait
forever for you Samantha.” Jack confessed to the night.
entrance
soft words spoke
but heard aloud
she holds me here
but she can't hear what's on my heart screaming
can you stay for a while or just forever
Why couldn’t
she see what she was doing to him? He was a mess inside. He was nothing without
her, nothing. He may act as thought her engagement means nothing to him, he may
act happy and carefree but the truth was she was slowly killing him.
open
eyes
you're gone
when I find you go away
close my eyes for another time
just to find you
here I'll pray
make a wish for you to stay
just forever
reach to
light
throwing smiles that will last forever
and she renames the mountains for me
afraid to leave
afraid to open my eyes to my loss
perfectly she holds my face screaming
So many times
Jack had wanted to utter those words; to ask, to plead, for her to stay just
for awhile. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms forever but
somehow she couldn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. Staring up at the
ceiling, Jack closed his eyes, trying to imagine a life with no regulations, no
Pete, no barriers of any kind.
Jack took a
long drink from this beer as the last chords of the song echoed in his ears. He
hadn’t felt pain like this since Charlie died. Although his heart was still
beating, he felt dead inside. Sam was his love, his life. Even if he was never
able to be with her, he had taken comfort in the thought that as long as they
worked together she would, in a way, be his. It hadn’t occurred to him that
someone would be able to take her away from him.
Picking up a
fresh bottle of beer, Jack pulled the empty jewelry box from his pocket. He
gazed at it for a moment in the moonlight that filtered in through his windows.
He was suddenly angry at it, angry at himself. He was angry that he had ever
thought Sam could be interested in him, angry that he had ever cared.
He chunked the
box at the wall but in his drunken state he missed and instead shattered his
window. The glass pieces rained to the floor, echoing the desolation of his
heart.
We Need To Talk
Pete
watched Sam as she gathered her things together. She didn’t seem quite herself.
Work must be really stressing her right now. He thought. Coming behind
her, Pete wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. “Why don’t I
clean up and you go ahead and get in the shower?”
Sam sighed in
relief that she’d soon be alone. A hot shower was just what she needed to calm
down and think things out. “Thanks Pete.” She pulled out of his arms and
started for the bedroom.
“I’ll got
ahead and make the reservations for dinner too.”
“Thanks.” Sam
called from the bedroom. Finally she was going to have a few minutes to
herself. The day’s events had drained her of all energy. All she wanted to do
what shower and sleep.
Sam laid on
her bed, soaking in the silence. She looked at her left hand and Jack’s
beautiful ring that was still on it. She really didn’t want to take it off.
Somehow, that ring was her connection to Jack. It represented everything she
wanted to have with him but never would. If she took it off she’d be throwing
away any chance of being with him. She’d be throwing away eight years of
friendship, trust and most importantly, love.
“Get real,
Sam. You can’t wear that ring. It’s not yours and Pete will notice.” Sam’s
inner self called to her. She really hated being right.
Reluctantly,
she pulled off the ring and placed it carefully on the bed side table. She
forced herself out of bed and into the joining bathroom. Turning on the hot
water, Sam placed a few moisturizing cubes in the bath tub. The lavender vapors
filled the room, sending Sam into a long needed state of peace. She quickly
undressed and lowered herself into the steaming water to wash away her numerous
worries.
-
Pete hung up
the phone with a triumphant grin on his face. “Reservations for two at the most
romantic restaurant in town, oh yeah!”He said giving himself an ego stroking.
Deciding that Sam had to know this information immediately, he went to her
bedroom and knocked softly on the door. Not hearing a response, he entered. A single
lamp placed on the night stand was the only light in the dark, unwelcoming
room.
Something
caught his eye and he strolled over to the night stand. Sitting down on the
bed, he picked up the glittering piece of jewelry. As he studied it, confusion
mounted. It was a beautiful engagement ring, but…wait…that wasn’t his ring. No,
his ring was gold with gems circling a large diamond. This was silver with a
solitary diamond.
Lavender fumes
drifted in from the bathroom and awakened him to his surroundings. Deciding
against confronting Sam now, Pete left the room to wait for her to get out. He
had to get to the bottom of this.
Thoughts crept
in from the back of his mind. He knew, or at least thought he knew, whose ring
that was. He prayed that he was wrong. She had promised there was nothing
between them. Although she seemed to be hiding something, he accepted her
excuse. He loved her too much to believe that she could have feelings for
another man. Guess I was wrong.
-
A sudden chill
awoke Sam from a peaceful sleep. Sitting up, she looked around confused.
Realizing she was still in the tub, she calmed down. I must have fallen
asleep. She thought to herself. Shivering in the cold water, Sam decided it
was time to get out. Stepping out of the tub, she put on her bathrobe and
looked at the clock. She was shocked to see she had been bathing for an hour. I’d
better call Pete and find out when our reservations are. Realizing she had
left her phone in the living room, she dressed and headed out to get it.
Entering the
living room, Sam was shocked to see Pete sitting on the couch. He was bent over
with his face in his hands. “Pete?”
Pete stood up
quickly. “Sam.”
“What are you
doing here, Pete? I thought you were going to pick me up later.”
“We need to
talk.”
Sam studied
Pete’s serious behavior. “Ok. What about?” she asked hesitantly.
“This.” Pete
held up Jack’s engagement ring. Sam just stared at it, her mouth hanging
slightly open.
“I can
explain. I—“
“It’s Jack’s
isn’t it? You promised me there was nothing going on between you two. You
promised, Sam!”
“There isn’t
anything going on! I don’t know who that ring is for.” Sam said, rising her
voice to meet Pete’s.
“Then why do
you have it?”
“I found it. I
thought it was pretty and I was curious.”
“Curious
enough to take it home?!”
Sam stomped
her foot in anger. “Damn it Pete! There is NOTHING going on between me and
Jack!”
Pete’s eyes
lit up. “Jack eh? So it is his!”
Sam shook her
head in frustration. “Pete…”
“So it’s Jack
now, is it? No more Colonel or sir? Or was that just a ploy from the beginning?
How long has this been going on?”
“Pete, you’re
being paranoid. Nothing is or ever has been going on between us. How many times
do I have to say that?”
“How can I
trust you? You lied to me about your affair with Jack. How can I know you won’t
lie to me again?”
That’s it.
If he wants to talk about trust, we’ll talk about trust. “Trust!? TRUST! Do you
really want to talk to me about trust? Who’s the one that stalked me and had a
background check done?”
Pete was
fuming but for once was at a loss of words.
“Don’t you
dare talk to me about trust. I forgave you because I thought I loved you. Now
I’m not so sure. I can’t love someone who calls me a liar. I can’t marry
someone that doesn’t trust me.”
The last
syllables of Sam’s words hung in the air. Pete’s anger slowly faded and was
replaced with extreme sadness.
“If that’s how
you feel…” Pete started to walk away but turned around and placed the ring on a
table next to the couch. “I’ll always love you Sam.” He said while gazing into
her eyes. A flood of emotions threatened to break the barrier of his eyes and
spill down his cheeks but before they could he turned around and left.
Sam collapsed
onto the couch as the reality of what just transpired hit her. He was gone. She
wasn’t going to marry Pete. A broad smile stretched across her face. Jack loved
her, despite what she had thought earlier. He wanted to marry her. She stood up
and took the ring from the table. And she wanted to marry him. Once again
slipping the ring on, a wave of tranquility crashed over Sam, almost bring
tears to her eyes.
Quickly, she
grabbed her keys and headed out the door. She was going to talk to Jack. She
was going to finally get what she’s wanted for eight years. She was going to
marry the man she really loved. She only prayed that he hadn’t given up hope
yet.
Jack, I Love You
Blood
rushed from Sam’s fingers as she gripped the steering wheel. She had been
sitting in Jack’s driveway for ten minutes. Her earlier anticipation had faded
during the drive to Jack’s house. She was about to confess her long concealed
love to her commanding officer!
Taking a deep
breath, she got out of the car and began to walk to the front door. As she
neared the door, she noticed one of the front windows was broken. Instantly,
her military training kicked in. She quietly ran back to her car and retrieved
her 9mm that she always kept in the glove box. She crept back to the window,
being careful to stay hidden. Peeking around the corner, Sam saw no intruder,
only Jack’s head barely visible from the couch.
Sam went to
the front door. Luckily, it was unlocked. She opened to door slowly, keeping
her gun ready in case someone else was hiding in the house. She swiftly
searched each room before going to the living room. The sight was shocking.
Half a dozen
empty beer bottles littered the floor. Jack was sprawled out on the couch,
another empty beer bottle in his hand. A painful look was plastered on his
face. It broke Sam’s heart to see him like that. She didn’t know what had
caused him to drink like this but she had a sinking feeling that it was her.
Kneeling down
next to the couch, she watched Jack sleep. Bringing her hand up to his face,
Sam hesitated for a moment, then softly stroked his face. His eyelids fluttered
open.
Seeing someone
was next to him but not being able to make out whom, Jack groggily asked.
“Who—who’s there?”
Sam pulled her
hand back and leaned against the coffee table. “It’s me, Colonel. It’s Carter.”
“Carter?” He
blinked.
“Yes sir.”
“What are you
doing here?” Jack tried to sit up but grabbed his head in pain. “Oy, maybe
not.” He mumbled as he lay back down.
“I…ah…I came
by to talk to you.”
“Talk?”
“Are you ok
sir?” She looked around the room at the empty bottles. “How much did you
drink?”
“Ah, I don’t
remember.”
“Hold on sir.
Let me get you something for your head.” She stood and went to the kitchen
searching for some Advil. Finally finding some, she poured a cold glass of
water and went back to Jack. He was now sitting up, rubbing his face with his
hands. She handed him the glass and medicine and sat down next to him.
“Thanks
Carter.” Gulping down the medicine, he turned to look at Sam. “So…what did you
want to talk about?”
“Me.”
Jack raised an
eyebrow.
“And you.”
“Ok?”
Sam took a
deep breath and continued. “We need to talk about Us. That is if you want there
to be an Us.”
Jack just
stared at her, believing that he was having a hallucination. Sam held her hand
up to reveal the beautiful engagement ring.
“Ah…”
“Jack this is
yours.”
“Jack?” He
asked, taken aback by her usage of his first name.
Sam took a
deep breath, deciding that she’d better just come out with it before she lost
her nerve. “Jack, I love you.”
Jack stood up
and paced the floor. “I’ve got to be hallucinating.”
Sam came up to
him and took his face in her hands. “No, you’re hallucinating. It’s really me.”
He pulled
away. “How did you even get my ring?”
“I found it in
your drawer. I’m sorry. I—“
“You went
through my drawer?”
“I was getting
staples and saw the jewelry box.”
“Why did you
put it on?”
“It’s a
beautiful ring and I—I wanted to feel what it would be like to be…married to
you.”
Jack shook his
head, trying to clear his mind and concentrate on what Sam was telling him.
“Wh—what about Pete?”
“He saw the
ring and thought me and you were having an affair.”
“An affair?”
“He didn’t
believe me when I said there was nothing going on.”
Jack said
nothing, just stared at her. Closing his eyes, he tried to focus. Sam was in
his living room saying she loved him. This was what he had wanted for so many
years. Why wasn’t he happy?
The silence
was killing Sam. What was he thinking? How was he going to react?
“Look, Sam,
I…” Jack rubbed the back of his neck, trying to figure out the best way to say
it. “I need some time.”
Sam’s heart
dropped to the floor. She had finally confessed her love for Jack and he didn’t
want her. “I’m sorry for intruding.” She began to leave but Jack called her
back.
“Wait.”
She turned
around, hope beginning to creep back. “Yes?”
“I…ah…I need
my ring back.”
‘Oh. I’m
sorry. I forgot.” She pulled off the ring and placed it in Jack’s open hand.
Tears began to form and she turned around. She didn’t want him to see her cry.
Jack saw her
wet eyes and wanted to cry himself. He couldn’t stand that he had hurt her. He
loved her so much but he needed some time to himself. He had to clear his mind
of the alcohol. He couldn’t think straight with it fogging up his mind.
“I’m sorry
Sam. I—“Jack gave up. Nothing could make up for the pain he was causing her.
Sam looked
back at him, her love for him evident in her moist eyes and sad smile. She
looked deep into his soul before opening the door and walking out as Jack
watched his life vanish before his eyes.
Finally
After
a hot shower and very long nap, Jack paced his now clean living room. He
gripped his engagement ring, which was nestled safely in its box. What was he
going to do? He wanted Sam more than anything but the torment she had put him
through had been almost unbearable. She had made him believe she was marrying
Pete, a move that had almost driven him over the edge. Then she tells him she
loves him! It was all too much to take in.
He had said he
needed some time how much time could he need? He loved her, nothing she had
done had changed that. Although she had played some pretty cruel mind games, he
knew that she loved him too. He couldn’t just give up, not when they were so
close to actually becoming a couple.
The question
was, was the risk of further emotional harm worth going after her? “Yes.” He
said out loud. He was going to go after her. He wasn’t sure what he’d say but
he knew he had to try. He couldn’t let her get away, not again. He stuffed the
jewelry box into his pocket as he grabbed his keys and headed out the door.
Twenty minutes
later he pulled into Sam’s driveway. He sighed in relief to see her car there.
He had feared that she had returned to the base. If that had been so it would
have been impossible for them to have the conversation that they so desperately
needed to have.
Getting out of
his massive truck, Jack took his time walking to the front door. He still
wasn’t sure what he was going to say. Gingerly, he knocked on the door. Hearing
no response, he knocked again. He heard shuffling from inside and waited
somewhat patiently for Sam to come to the door.
The old,
wooden door creaked open slightly, just enough to reveal red, puffy eyes and a
tear stained face. Upon seeing Jack at her doorstep, Sam shut the door, unsure
of what to do.
“Usually
people invite their guests inside.” Jack called from the other side of the
door. Deciding to try to lighten the mood a little more he added, “But this is
cool too. You have some lovely steps here.” He sat down on Sam’s front steps
and leaned against a railing.
“Ah, just a
minute sir.” Sam rushed around the house, picking up the many tissues that
littered the place. Coming to a mirror, she wiped her face and fixed her hair
as best she could. Not wanting to keep Jack waiting for too long, she rushed to
the door. Taking in a deep breath, she opened the door wide and gestured
inside. “Would you like to come in?”
Jack looked at
her from his lounging spot. “I don’t know. I’m quite comfortable here.”
Noticing the disappointment in Sam’s face, he stood. “On second thought, I
think this cement is starting to give me a bruise.” He rubbed his backside as
she entered Sam’s house.
Sam closed the
door and nervously showed him to the living room. It was strange to see him
there when only hours ago she had been in his living room, begging him
to love her. Sam sat down on the couch while Jack paced her floor. He rubbed at
the back of his neck, suddenly wishing he had fully thought this out before
coming over.
“I guess
you’re wondering why I’m here.” Getting no response from Sam, he continued.
“Well you see…” Man this was going to be harder than he thought. “Well…I wanted
to ask you something. Several somethings, in fact.”
Sam sat up a
little in her seat, confused and interested in what Jack had to say.
He stopped
pacing for a moment to ask his first question. “Why didn’t you tell me about
the ring earlier?”
Sam sat still
a moment, not really sure how to answer his question. “I didn’t know what to
say. You are my commanding office. I—I wasn’t even sure it was for me.”
“Who did you
think it was for?” The moment the words left his mouth, realization donned on
him. “Oh. Her.”
Sam and Jack
squirmed uneasily.
“I’m…ah…I’m
sorry about Pete.” In reality he wasn’t sorry. He may have been sorry to have
been part of her reason for breaking up with him but he wasn’t sorry at all
that he was gone. He had ever liked the guy.
“Are you
really?” Sam asked with sincerity.
“Well I can’t
lie. I’m glad he’s gone. He wasn’t right for you. But I am sorry to have been
the reason for him leaving.” He took in a quick breath before adding, “I’d
never want to cause you pain, directly or indirectly.”
Sam was
slightly taken aback by his kind words and even kinder eyes. He seemed to be
transforming into a different man in front of her eyes. His military toughness
was slowly melting away and was being replaced with the love and tenderness of
a man madly in love. The sight was shocking, yet comforting to know that he
cared so deeply for her.
Jack sat down
next to Sam. He looked deep into her eyes, trying to read her feelings. Then he
asked the question to which he feared to hear the answer. “Did you love him?”
Sam’s eyes
glistened with fresh memories of their loud break up. “I thought I did but I
was just fooling myself.” She paused. “I made myself believe that second best
was better than nothing. I settled for what I could get instead of risking
rejection by going after the unobtainable.” She looked directly into his dark
eyes, transmitting her love to him in a way no words could.
“Did you mean
what you said earlier? About loving me?” That question had burned in his mind
since the moment he heard her utter those words. At the time, he wasn’t even
sure if he had been hallucinating. He had drunken so much it was a miracle he
was even still alive.
Tears building
in her eyes, Sam whispered, “Yes, Jack. I meant every word.” She took his face
in her hands and gently placed a kiss on his lips. “I love you.”
Without saying
a word, Jack slid off the couch and kneeled on the floor. “I have one more
question to ask you.” He said as he gazed up into the most beautiful pair of
blue eyes he’d ever seen. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the small
velvet covered box. Holding in front of him, he watched as Sam’s eyes grew and
her mouth hung open in shock.
“Samantha
Carter, will you marry me?” He opened the lid and revealed the silver ring that
had, earlier, caused so much trouble.
Tears were now
freely flowing down Sam’s cheeks. She just stared at him for several long
minutes, allowing the moment to soak in.
Jack was
beginning to become uneasy at her lack of response. “This is about the time you
say yes.” He gave her a nervous smile.
“But…why would
you want to marry me?” She asked after finally regaining some composer.
Jack glided a
hand across her face, whipping away the tears. “No woman in any galaxy could
make me feel the way I do when I’m with you. When I’m with you I want to be a
better person.”
Sam was
overcome with joy and love. No one, not even Pete, had expressed such love for
her. A huge grin appeared on her face as she wrapped her arms around Jack and
buried her face in his neck. “Yes! Yes, Jack. I’ll marry you!”
They shared
the embrace for several wonderful minutes before Jack returned to his seat next
to Sam. Taking the ring from its box, he slid it onto the hand of its rightful
owner.
“I love you
Sam.” He whispered as he took a piece of her hair from her face and put it
behind her ear. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. I never meant to—“
Sam placed a
finger on his lips. “It’s ok. I know you didn’t mean it.” She smiled up at the
man whose arms were encompassing her. “I love you too.” Suddenly feeling a
little flirtatious she added, “But you’d better do some major groveling if you
want to keep me.”
Jack pulled
back and looked down at Sam in surprise. “I thought I was doing pretty good at
the groveling thing. How many guys do you know apologize by proposing?”
Sam turned her
head away in defiance. “Nope. Not good enough.” She teased.
"Okay,
okay...I grovel at your feet, oh goddess of the earth and sky and I crave your
forgiveness, though I do not deserve it.”
Sam tried to
hold back a laugh. “Close but no cigar.”
“Well I don’t
smoke. It’s a nasty habit.”
Sam gave him a
look and he quickly dissolved his smirk, replacing it with a look of totally
seriousness.
“I apologize
for putting you through undue hurt...were I able to, I would take my heart out
of my chest and give it to you to do with as you wish."
Sam just gaped
at him while Jack smirked in victory.
“Does this
mean I’m fully forgiven?”
Sam fiddled
with the buttons on his shirt with one hand while she traced his heart with the
other. “I wouldn’t have any use for a heart but I have a few ideas about what I
want to do with you.” She smiled seductively.
Jack choked,
then returned the smile. “Anything for the love of my life.” He captured her
lips in a passionate kiss. He paused to look into her eyes once more.
“I love you.”
“I know…” Jack
leaned in for another kiss. “…Mrs. O’Neill.”